Dear Bossip: I Can’t Bust?

- By Bossip Staff

Dear Bossip,
I thoroughly enjoy reading your sex and relationship section a lot. I always find something new to learn and try. I have had a problem with myself for a while and thought that getting your advice would be the best choice. Basically, during sex I never bust?? Bust meaning ejaculate. Its also the same when I’m recieving head, oral sex. I know I can cum because I’ve done the deed before, masturbated, as I’m sure a lot of men have and I ejaculate fine. Sometimes during sex, I feel like I’m coming but I never do. I mean, the positives are that I can go on for ages because of this but sometimes I wish I could just feel myself climax inside my women. What do you think I should do? Was also wondering if anyone else has experienced this.

Yours sincerely,
A faithful bossip reader from the UK

Good day, Faithful Bossip Reader from the UK! Quite the dilemma you have there! I’m sure it’s frustrating having difficulty climaxing. While some women would think that your issue is heaven sent, that’s not quite the case. A woman, in most cases, wants her partner to climax during sex and if he didn’t it would start to wear on her psyche. She’ll start to feel like maybe she’s the problem or she doesn’t turn him on enough to get him to the height of his pleasure. Not to mention the soreness, for both the woman and man, that comes after lengthy sessions!

So here’s the deal, your situation is not that uncommon. There are several reasons why a man could have problems ejaculating during intercourse. If you’ve had spinal or prostate surgery or medical conditions that call for anti-depressant medications, delayed ejaculation is a potential side effect. If you had any of the aforementioned conditions you’d be fully aware of the cause behind your predicament, right? So that doesn’t seem to be the case. The upside for you, in particular, is that you climax just fine when you masturbate so chances are it’s all in your head … the one on your shoulders, that is!

Many experts believe that men who suffer from delayed ejaculation are often consumed by the fear of the loss of control. Think about it, you can climax when you masturbate. Why? Because YOU are in control. Another reason could be suppressed performance anxiety and being mentally preoccupied with pleasing your woman so much that lose yourself delivering when you should be exchanging. Frequent masturbation could also contribute to the matter because it decreases your urgency to climax. You could be thinking too hard about climaxing that you simply cannot. Don’t think, just feel!

For starters, relax! If your woman doesn’t know about your dilemma, let her know and surely she’ll be more than happy to do what it takes to maneuver through this with you. Try this: do not masturbate without your lady! You may have to do this a few times before it works but don’t give up! Masturbate as you would when you’re alone and when you feel yourself about to climax, replace your hand with hers, let her work you up for a second and have her get on top of you. This exercise is for you to get acquainted with the feeling of ejaculating inside of a woman versus the manual climax. Again, this may take a few times before you get it right but remember that relaxation is key! Hope this helps!

Fellas, what do you think this gentleman across the pond should do?

Remember to email all topic suggestions, questions and feedback to loveandrelationships@bossip.com!

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Comments

  • http://yahoo shawncarter

    thats a messed up problem

  • HomeGrownKushGetIt

    You just havent met the right one yet.

  • foxxy cleopatra foster

    Who cares? As long as he can stay hard and relieve my tension, your nut is your problem.

  • drenk

    YA KNOW I JUST LOOKED THAT UP ON WEB MD AND THEY SAID ITS CANCER, SO THERE YA GO, PUT A GUN IN YOUR MOUTH AND PAINT THE WALL

  • moneymagnet

    I have never heard of this happening with a man. His woman can’t stimulate him physically so that he can bust?

    Is he on the DL? What’s on his mind? I mean you can’t be thinking about who’s going to win the championships when you’re having sex, you really have to be into the deed. Maybe his feelings for the woman aren’t as deep as he thinks.

    Maybe the woman should try a vibrator on him, or talk dirty in his ear while she’s kissing on his neck, that tends to drive men a little nutty sometimes.

    I’m baffled. I think he needs Supahead.

  • HomeGrownKushGetIt

    When you are J.O what are thinking about? Whatever you are fantasizing about is making it come down.

  • Dilla

    Speechless!

  • Lady Architect (Laura Wheeler Waring)

    Wow…I’ve known this to happen to women who masturbate too much but I have never heard of it happening to men…My guess is you are not turned on and feeling as good in your girl as you do fantasizing and masturbating.

  • HomeGrownKushGetIt

    @ moneymagnet

    I had the same thought about being Gay.

  • UrHeinessDaQueen

    btw is this dude sure he’s into women like that? just saying hehe

  • http://www.sexyshorty.com SexyShorty

    Try a new chic, not a common problem with men.

  • Tiffany Drake

    I think you might want to ask yourself exactly what you are thinking of and specifically doing when you masturbate that helps you to “bust”

    That may tell you a lot about your relationship.

    And try to think about your woman, the next time you masturbate. If the idea of her is not a turn on then, there is your answer.

  • Ms. L (Lola)

    Or he may have tube blockage going on. Go to your dr.

  • UrHeinessDaQueen

    this is certainly an issue only a therapist or physician can help him with so he should consider booking appointments like now! lol

  • moneymagnet

    Or he may have tube blockage going on. Go to your dr.
    ——————————————————-
    He said he can get off if he masturbates, so there is no tube blockage, it’s a mental block. I suspect that there is a domineering mother somewhere in the background.

  • Pimpin (IronJaw) Robert Brister Jackson

    Happened to me with two different women before, I’d pound, I’d pound, and my d i c k didn’t enjoy it, classic example of a woman having that “good, good” versus that “ok, ok” cause if its good, you gone release regardless!

  • Ms. L (Lola)

    @moneymagnet

    It can be a stress reliever for some people not all.

  • moneymagnet

    Happened to me with two different women before, I’d pound, I’d pound, and my d i c k didn’t enjoy it, cl*****ic example of a woman having that “good, good” versus that “ok, ok” cause if its good, you gone release regardless!
    ——————————————————–
    The problem IS you were POUNDING! What woman in her right mind wants you pounding on her, it HURTS especially if your very well endowed. It sounds like you didn’t know what you were doing DUDE!

  • Creole Baby doesn't care about Wack People

    oh my

  • Ga Gurl

    Dang Man! Stop jackin off!!!Concentrate…Use all your senses.. sight, taste,smell,sound(she making,your making,the bed, the poonanny,nusic) touch(her skin, your skin, her skin against you skin!. It’s mental dude. Learn how to multitask

  • Pimpin (IronJaw) Robert Brister Jackson

    moneymagnet
    2/3/10, 11:46:am

    Happened to me with two different women before, I’d pound, I’d pound, and my d i c k didn’t enjoy it, cl*****ic example of a woman having that “good, good” versus that “ok, ok” cause if its good, you gone release regardless!
    ——————————————————–
    The problem IS you were POUNDING! What woman in her right mind wants you pounding on her, it HURTS especially if your very well endowed. It sounds like you didn’t know what you were doing DUDE!

    Pounding, slow circles, maxwell crawling on the floor style, didn’t get off with her, got off with my other chick the next day, no prob. “Ok Ok” is that you?

  • Butterflyj30

    Oh my I feel for him I hope he gets that problem fixed.

  • Lady Architect (Laura Wheeler Waring)

    Pimpin!!!!…lol@you are fool

  • I'm Just Me...Keeping It Real Since: 1983.....72 Days!!!

    OOOOHHH

    HEY PIMPIN’!!

  • Pimpin (IronJaw) Robert Brister Jackson

    Lady Architect (Laura Wheeler Waring)
    2/3/10, 11:50:am

    Pimpin!!!!…lol@you are fool

    My NSP, now I sense that “good good”, how are you?

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