10 Ways to Get Over a Breakup

- By Bossip Staff

Good day Bossip Readers! Our topic today is something that everyone has had to cope with a time or two in life and the long and short of it is, it’s just not easy. Whether you called it quits or you got dumped, moving on is hard to do when you’re used to that certain someone laying in the bed next to you, being on the other end of the phone when you call and just being there. All too often, we make the mistake of going back only to split on harsher terms but when it’s over, accept it and move on. The best way to get over a breakup is to be prepared for the tornado of emotions that are bound to ensue and control thyself. Do your best to escape the urge to over indulge in your favorite vice, be it food, alcohol or smoking, control thyself! Again, it won’t be easy, but you have to stick to your guns and be strong through the process, you’ll come out of it a new person ready to take on the world! Take a look at these 10 tips to get over a breakup!

1.) Avoid the Friend Zone – when it’s over, it’s over! There is no such thing as being friends with your ex right away. In time, you can be friends but take the time you need to heal! No phone calls, no random late night sleepovers because “I miss you.” Stay strong and avoid contact for at least 90 days!

2.) Reject the Negative Stupor – If you’ve already done your crying or had your fit of anger, let it be done! On those nights when you’re feeling lonely or sad, don’t wallow in it, get up and go somewhere! Go to a restaurant and have a drink, go rent a movie, hit the gym, hook up with some friends. Whatever it is, catch yourself before falling into the abyss of sadness.

3.) Do Not Get Drunk and Dial – alcohol and a cell phone are the perfect elixir for a disaster! Getting drunk and calling your ex to ask all the questions you think you want to know the answers to “do you miss me?” or “have you been seeing anybody else?” You might not be prepared for the answer or the attitude on the other end of the phone saying, “take your drunk a*s to bed.” This is never good. Remove the numbers from your phone to avoid these kind of nights.

4.) Refrain from Random Sex – finding a “jump-off” or a void filler is nothing more than quick fix that doesn’t help you in the grand scheme of things. Furthermore, why pass the pain that you’re feeling on to someone else? Nobody wins. Take the time you need to heal, jumping into a fling immediately after a breakup is not healthy and likely ends up being a waste of time.

5.) Switch It Up – Go through your house and rearrange your furniture, especially in the bedroom. Move your bed to another corner or switch up the entire layout of your living room! You can take it a step further and paint a room or two a different color. This helps refresh your attitude and enhances the desire to turn a new leaf!

6.) Refresh Your Bed – Burn some incense, turn the mattress over, get rid of sheets, buy a new comforter! The bed is where your mind, body and should be at rest and it’s extremely difficult to do so when you’ve shared your bed with your ex. If you rearrange your sleep space and refresh the bed, you should rest much easier.

7.) Learn the Lesson – you should always take some time and evaluate the 5 W’s: who, what, where, when, why and also how. What did you do to contribute to your relationship failing? Where was your head, in the clouds, in denial, numb? When did you finally realize it was over? Why did it end? What have you learned and how will you apply what you’ve learned to your next relationship?

8.) Do You – after a breakup it’s so easy to get lost in your sadness and let yourself go. Just because you no longer have a girlfriend don’t veg on the PS2, drink heavily and fail to get your line-up. Ladies, don’t let your nails and toes suffer and develop a habit of eating ice cream in the bed every night! Go to the barber! Go to the salon! Go get your mani/pedi! Hit the gym harder! Be better, not bitter!

9.) Get Over It – rid your place of all things ex! Don’t hoard personal items like his basketball shorts you like to wear or her sweater she used to wear around the house that you occasionally sniff. Let it all go! If weeks have passed and he/she has yet to retrieve their items, toss them! Or put them in a box and tuck it away in storage.

10.) Surround Yourself with Love – there are people that love you regardless of your hardships. So don’t be too proud to reach out to them and let them know you need them. If it’s your siblings, other family members or your best friend you can never have enough support through your transition.

A breakup is never a walk in the park but if you have the right attitude and the right people around you it can make your transition to the single life much smoother and less lonely!

For more Top 10 Lists click here!

Remember to email all topic suggestions, questions and feedback to loveandrelationships@bossip.com!

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  • WhatAWorld


  • Hannibal


  • http://www.k.com noelle

    Is he African?

  • http://www.k.com noelle

    Hannibal..I JUST BECAME NUMBER 4!!!

  • http://bossip miss dior

    #2 is hard.

  • Hannibal



  • Jasira

    Why is #4 wrong? You should definitely take time out for yourself…

  • Black on Top

    #4 is definitely wrong. A fling by definition is not serious it is what it is. Everybody wins.

    Other then that. Good list.

  • Sweet Pea

    blah blah blah (in my Ke$ha voice)!!!

  • Nita

    @miss dior yeah #2 is hard when your heartbroken

  • Love is for suckas

    F*&K LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • TPorter

    I have to agree, this is a pretty good list.

  • pynk♥{Gwendolyn Brooks}

    My ex needs to read this. lol

  • http://WOW Pinsongirl79


  • http://baker.edu d. knott(detroit fresh)


  • BleuSavoy

    i concur …

    surprisingly, this is actually a good list …

  • ni99as are stupid

    I don’t know about y’all, but a beautiful woman makes me forget about all my problems. Just find you a beautiful sista and you won’t even remember your ex’s name.

  • Tuesday's Child

    AMEN! Emailing this to my BFF immediately! Everything I’ve already been telling her, but apparently I’m talking s h i t so she gets to see it in black & white.

  • Ms.EJ

    I think the list above on how to get over a breakup is very good, however I would have to add that the number one thing on my list will be to get in the word of God and to feed yourself spiritually so that the Lord can start the process of delivering and healing ones heart from: pain, anger, hurt, rage, revengefulness, spitefulness and bitterness combined with actively doing the things above. Great list.

  • The Rock (Layin The Smack Down On Your Candy @$$)

    Pretty good list!!!

  • Ms.EJ

    I know that number 5 I always in general and did in the past LOL. I’m already a clean and neat freak, but I know if something is really on my mind I will CLEAN like there is no tomorrow even when my place is already clean. I open up the windows, let in the fresh air and play some good gospel or old school music. I’ve been guilty of doing number 1 and 2 in the past.

  • Ummm, can we say HYPOCRITE???

    @ D.Knott

    SO TRUE! Actually, I believe all of our relationship problems and problems period have to do with what is within us. Oprah was just saying that this week to Pink. Relationships teach us about ourselves, they reveal to us our shortcomings and compulsions and issues but I dont think most ppl see it that way. Cuz they would rather blame the other person.

  • Joe

    I agree with ni99as are stupid. A beautiful woman really does make you forget about an ex or that you maybe really heartbroken. So I say find a beautiful person to be with that will treat you right and who you are going to enjoy spending your time with.

  • chaka1

    I like the list. Like everyone else, I disagree with #4. I need sex.

    As for number #1, it works but be careful. I dropped kicked an ex hard back in 2007. He died 90 days later. I was crushed mainly because the breakup was terrible. It took me a while to learn it wasn’t my fault and I did the right thing.

  • Ms.EJ

    @Joe & Ns’ Are Stupid- To you gentlemen does a beautiful woman make you forget about an ex let’s say you’ve known and been with for years? or even being newly divorced, but during that union produced children? Is it that simple to forget just based off of looks? I’ve always thought or it seems that men tend to get over a woman much faster than a woman getting over a man. I did have an ex where it took him years to get over the relationship, and truthfully he’s still struggling.

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