(Photo Courtesy of Pete Taylor)
Good day Bossip folks! One of our readers e-mailed the question, “I’ve been dating a guy for a few months and want to know how soon it too soon to make it official?” How many of us know the awkward in-between stages of a relationship when two people are seeing each other often, but still maybe a little too soon to start talking exclusivity? In the beginning stages, it’s a conversation that you don’t want to initiate too soon because you may not even be sure yourself if this is a fleeting love affair or something that you can continue to invest your time and attention. Overall, it’s normally a feeling of uncertainty, it could be fear of the unknown, an uneasiness to put your heart on the line, don’t want to be hurt … and the list continues. The dating phase should be fun and set the stage for longevity, but too often we get wrapped up in titles and heightened expectations prematurely, which slowly deteriorates the chemistry you share. Ride the wave of excitement and read the signs! Actions speak louder than words so pay attention!
1.) Men are hunters by nature. Ladies, if you are the one doing most of the planning, calling and confirming, it may be safe to say that your guy is not as into the relationship as you are. If this is the case for you, take some space and reevaluate what you want versus what you’re getting.
2.) Fellas, sometimes it’s hard to tell if a women is truly into you or your belongings and/or material possessions. Is she putting in the time to truly get to know you and not what you do, what you have and how much? If you’re feeling a little shaky about a woman’s sincerity, step back but also trust your intuition.
3.) If your expectations in terms of commitment and relationships are parallel, chances are the two of you could be a good match. But it’s useless to manipulate or force commitment with a man or woman who “doesn’t believe in titles,” marriage or monogamy. It’s pointless and a waste of time.
4.) Fellas, if your lady of interest respects your manhood and supports your short and long term goals and aspirations, she’s seeing the bigger picture and likely hoping to be a part of it. Positive reinforcement and interest in your success are synonymous with commitment.
5.) Ladies, once you’ve voiced what you need and want in a relationship and the man makes a concerted effort to deliver, he’s paying attention and wanting to meet your desires.
6.) Fellas, if she’s withholding sex she’s serious about you. Most grown women know that “giving it up” too soon or without commitment have never proven beneficial. So if she’s not quick to indulge in your sexual advances, she’s not rejecting you, she wants more and needing to trust sticktoitiveness.
7.) You can really tell a man is in heavy pursuit if you’ve been dating for a significant amount of time and he has been nothing but reliable. He is where he says he’s going to be when he says he’s going to be there and so on. He’s ultimately displaying availability and the investment of his time.
8.) Fellas, If she’s afraid to get her hands dirty and take a few for the team and prefers sitting pretty and watching from the sidelines, this is not only narcissistic but selfish. A woman should understand that a man and woman have roles in a relationship and both need support. If she’s down to tag team a hefty task together, she’s a rider! Ask yourself, is she a trophy or a partner?
9.) If upon introduction to friends and family you hear, “oh, it’s nice to finally meet you! I’ve heard so much about you!” He/she’s been bragging on you and outwardly excited that you’re a part of his/her life.
10.) Balance is key. The whole 50/50 idea is fantasy and hardly ever reality in most partnerships. Someone is always going to give more at some point, but what you have to ask yourself is, is this a healthy exchange? Could this relationship potentially turn exhausting to a point where I’ll have nothing left to give?
Of course, only time will tell if the the person you’re dating is the one you could potentially end up with for the long haul, but the trick is, don’t waste your time. Don’t get too caught up in the idea of being in a loving relationship that you settle for what you’re getting at the time! It takes hard work and dedication and if your person of interest is not displaying the signs of progressive momentum, then move on and try again!
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