Jill Scott: “Back In The Day If A Black Man Looked At A White Woman, He Would’ve Been Lynched, Beaten, Jailed Or Shot To Death…”

- By Bossip Staff

Jill Scott has decided to express her feeling on swirl dating and she goes deeper than the surface. Lets just say she really gets to the “ROOTS” of the matter…

You know the moment when you realize that fine, accomplished brother is with a White woman? Let’s call it “the wince.”

My new friend is handsome, African-American, intelligent and seemingly wealthy. He is an athlete, loves his momma, and is happily married to a White woman. I admit when I saw his wedding ring, I privately hoped. But something in me just knew he didn’t marry a sister. Although my guess hit the mark, when my friend told me his wife was indeed Caucasian, I felt my spirit…wince. I didn’t immediately understand it. My face read happy for you. My body showed no reaction to my inner pinch, but the sting was there, quiet like a mosquito under a summer dress.

Was I jealous? Did the reality of his relationship somehow diminish his soul’s credibility? The answer is not simple. One could easily dispel the wince as racist or separatist, but that’s not how I was brought up. I was reared in a Jehovah’s Witness household. I was taught that every man should be judged by his deeds and not his color, and I firmly stand where my grandmother left me. African people worldwide are known to be welcoming and open-minded. We share our culture sometimes to our own peril and most of us love the very notion of love. My position is that for women of color, this very common “wince” has solely to do with the African story in America.

When our people were enslaved, “Massa” placed his Caucasian woman on a pedestal. She was spoiled, revered and angelic, while the Black slave woman was overworked, beaten, raped and farmed out like cattle to be mated. She was nothing and neither was our Black man. As slavery died for the greater good of America, and the movement for equality sputtered to life, the White woman was on the cover of every American magazine. She was the dazzling jewel on every movie screen, the glory of every commercial and television show. She was unequivocally the standard of beauty for this country, firmly unattainable to anyone not of her race. We daughters of the dust were seen as ugly, nappy mammies, good for day work and unwanted children, while our men were thought to be thieving, sex-hungry animals with limited brain capacity.

We reflect on this awful past and recall that if a Black man even looked at a White woman, he would have been lynched, beaten, jailed or shot to death. In the midst of this, Black women and Black men struggled together, mourned together, starved together, braved the hoses and vicious police dogs and died untimely on southern back roads together. These harsh truths lead to what we really feel when we see a seemingly together brother with a Caucasian woman and their children. That feeling is betrayed. While we exert efforts to raise our sons and daughters to appreciate themselves and respect others, most of us end up doing this important work alone, with no fathers or like representatives, limited financial support (often court-enforced) and, on top of everything else, an empty bed. It’s frustrating and it hurts!

Our minds do understand that people of all races find genuine love in many places. We dig that the world is full of amazing options. But underneath, there is a bite, no matter the ointment, that has yet to stop burning. Some may find these thoughts to be hurtful. That is not my intent. I’m just sayin’.

Dayyumm… Jill just took this thang to another level!!!


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  • getting down

    That’s a nice picture of Jill

  • TKNY 130

    Well said Jill! Our DNA has memory & she speaks truth not opinion.
    I co-sign!

  • I Am Legend

    its not 1912 anymore date who you want

  • OHH hell noooo

    Wow. She makes an very interesting and thought provoking point. As a black woman, I understand what she is saying. But, I date all races and I do believe love is colorless and other people’s love have nothing to do with me.

  • KGSmooth

    That was deep. And it made all the sense in the world to me, too.

  • B3 Fearless

    That is a beautiful pic of Jill and I think she expressed her point well.

    My favorite part of her statement was the last part, “Our minds do understand that people of all races find genuine love in many places. We dig that the world is full of amazing options. But underneath, there is a bite…”

  • Modern_

    Jill Scott is so pretty.. thats all imma say cos this topic is dun to death

  • Ohio_888

    Very nice Jill! You nailed it

  • berryjuice

    Insightful as well as beautiful.

  • maya

    getting down@ MEN DOESNT WASTE THEIR TIME ON GOSSIPS SITE ITS ONLY WOMEN that wants to and hates hard on swirl relationship wit black men and white women… look at kim and reggie

  • I Am Legend

    Why is it the woman always complaining about who black men date??? Yet I dont see black men complaining about the black women who date white men

  • Nome=No ma'am

    I agree with Jills.


    What better way to say this!!! U are so right. I am go to a college where the Black men prefer to date the white women, so I know how it feels.

  • diane

    I have always been a Jill Scott but she just gained a fan for life I commend her for speaking her mind on a subject that a black woman is considered bitter or jealous about…especially in the music industry there suppose to shut up and make songs!!!!love ya jill

  • shavondenise

    That was very deep and I think it was her thoughts spread out eloquently! From this I am not sensing that she is opposed to it she just did what most people in America DONT do anymore: think deeply and had an oppinion with a valid reason. It is simple to say you dont have a problem with it but I know all these dusty local dudes I see with a white girl I dont even look twice but when you see a successful well put together man with a white woman the first thought is usually is “Damn a sister missed out on a great man!” I LOVE JILL “F*CKIN” SCOTT!!! She has a BRAIN and she broke it down while others arent articulate enough to do so OR most will just say the PC thing. If you’re not Black you probably wouldnt understand what she is saying so please respect it. YET, I also think that it can be something to be said about Black women and what we need to do to rebuild out morale to get and KEEP a Black man!! Hopefully thats chapter TWO!

  • Dr. Heather

    Great essay, Jill…

  • GodseesAll

    Jill, Food for Thoughts. Powerful Piece.

  • I Am Legend

    ninabnaz I havent said nuttin offensive yet but it just may be comin

  • Doc

    ” My position is that for women of color, this very common “wince” has solely to do with the African story in America.”


  • I'm bambi *itch!

    Nice pic..Jill spoke the truth about the past but, Love conquers all and Love made us free to be w/any color.

    I do understand her feelings as a black woman It’s tuff out here and being single can stir up raw thoughts & emotions but, you have to keep pressing on and I hope she will find love again.

  • B3 Fearless


    Read the last paragraph. She isn’t knocking interracial relationships. And she acknowledges that ppl find genuine love outside their race.

    She is expressing how SOME Black women FEEL when seeing or learning that a successful Black man has married a white female.

    There was nothing racist about her statement at all.

    Personally I don’t really care and I have only felt that feeling a couple times and both of the times was when the attractive, successful man was with a white woman who was just average.

  • SouthFlaHoney

    Well she articulated how many black women feel about interracial dating without being disrespectful.. She get’s mad kudos.. So my question is what is a black woman to do when she wants to be a black man and they choose white women.. Black women have a sense of alliance to black men and they don’t neccessarily feel the same way…

  • B3 Fearless

    “But I must say interracial dating can be a beautiful thing when it’s not influenced by any outside entities.”

    Well said Nicolette!



  • MissB24

    Well said Jill. I don’t think black women have a problem with it, like Jill said, we are use to it but it does sting just a lil bit! I don’t really care b/c you should be able to choose WHOEVER you want to be with. But its already hard for a black woman to find a good black man b/c we are loosing them b/c they are either in jail, on the DL, openly gay, dead, lost or with WHITE women. I’m not saying they aren’t any good black men out there, but it sure is hard to find you all. DANG where yall at lol??? Like I said if the man is ugly and isn’t doing anything to better himself, I don’t want him anyways, but when he is good looking, successful, educated, treats his mother and sisters good, and he gets a white woman, it stings just a lil bit.

    But black women you need to just keep it pushing b/c he wasn’t meant for you anyways b/c if he was, you would be with him. Black women need to learn to open their minds to dating other races too. Its nothing wrong with finding love in another race. LOVE has no COLOR, so don’t think of that white, asian, hispanic, or multiracial man as a COLOR; think of him as a possible LOVE

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