Dear Bossip: Natural vs. Fake

I have an issue Bossip. Me and my boyfriend have been together for close to 3 years and I love him but lately I’m not so sure if he loves me like he says he does. Here’s the problem, when we met and first started dating he didn’t have a problem with my appearance. I’ve always worn weaves, I have acrylic nails and wear colored contacts. Like I said this wasn’t a problem in the beginning but now all the sudden my boyfriend doesn’t like that I get weaves have nails and wear contacts! He says he wants to see me look more natural and says I’m prettier without the hair, nails and make-up but it’s the way I’m most comfortable. Suddenly he says that my “look” mirrors a video model wannabe or a girl in the club looking for a come up. He’s basically saying I look like a goldigger. I didn’t think it would remain a problem but he keeps saying things like “how many stolen ponytails are you going to get put in your head this time?” and “brown-skinned girls don’t have grey eyes.” I’m getting to a point that I’m starting to get offended. He doesn’t even hold my hand when we go out anymore and when he does say “you look great” or “your beautiful” I fee like it’s forced and he doesn’t mean it. I’m at the end of my rope with this!! What should I do? Tell him what you see is what you get and if you don’t like keep it moving or do I try the natural look for him?

Hey sis! Thanks for writing in and sharing! This is interesting because it goes against the grain of what many (men and women) consider “beautiful” these days. From what you’ve described, it sounds like your man isn’t really after the “look” that’s seemingly popular. For many women, his preference would be refreshing!

While your hair, nails, make-up and contacts are what makes you feel most comfortable, there is no doubt that you’re just as pretty and beautiful, if not more, without them! It’s the less is more theory and more often than not, it’s true! Your man wants to stare into your natural eyes and play in your natural hair! It sounds like he wants to get to know and see more of YOU and not the presentation package. Granted, in the beginning he didn’t mind the “look” but you can’t get mad at the man for wanting to know what’s beneath the surface literally and figuratively. No doubt, his approach is mean-spirited but ultimately he still thinks you’re beautiful with your hair, nails and make-up, he prefers without. Your resistance, however, could become a roadblock or worse, a turn-off, because it translates to you not being comfortable with your natural beauty. So why not try it? It’s worth a shot and if you can read between the digs he takes, he wants you to trust him enough to be free with him.

If it’s too uncomfortable for you to shed the exterior, don’t do it. You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable doing. But, at some point, it’s healthy to go all natural and let it all hang out. Let your scalp, nails and skin breathe for couple days or weeks and you might just grow to like it yourself! Nobody’s perfect inside or out! Even the rarest of gems have flaws and still shine. Love yourself, sis! Love yourself!

Hope this helps! What do you think she should do, Bossip Readers?

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