A List of Ways to Tell if He/She is Playing Games

- By Bossip Staff

Good day Bossip Readers! Here’s to an “almost there Thursday!” For those of us who are still actively dating, it’s hard to tell sometimes if someone is really into you and wanting to see where things go or playing around. It’s especially hard when you’re really feeling someone and you’re so caught up and blinded by this potential love, you’re not reading the signs. The unfortunate part is, people aren’t always honest and have alterior motives or circumstances from which they’d like to escape for as long as you keep them around. Then there are those who will do whatever it takes to fulfill their needs and disappear! At some point the signs become as clear day, you hit a brick wall and decide, “he/she is playing games.” Nobody likes to be played or toyed with but it happens and there were, more than likely, many signs leading up to the discovery. We’ve listed some of the tell-tales below, take a look!

Up and Down – if you’re dating someone who is punch drunk off your loving one day and is no where to be found the next, then when you finally do touch bases, he/she is suddenly cold as ice or far away. That person is more than likely playing games! We want a steady flow of communication, there’s really no room sketchy moodiness in the beginning stages.

Words vs. Action – people will rant and rave about how they behave one way, yet display something completely different. For example, “my word is my bond and I’m going to keep it one hundred at all times. I don’t play games.” But he/she never answers her phone after 9 p.m. and they can’t give you a straight answer when you raise the question, “did you get my message last night?”

You get Kicked Out – after dating a while and having grown comfortable with each other, your love interest should insist that you stay the night at some point. Weeknights can be overlooked with work hours and all, but if you’re always getting shown the door or he/she can never stay at your place, there might be someone else they need to tend to. Also be weary of the person that stalks all personal items and makes sure you leave with everything from an earring to an eyelash.

Failure to Execute – you know that person that will feed you all things he/she may think you want to hear and fail to execute? For example, “I’m a hopeless romantic and long walks in the park and candlelit dinners.” But the closest you come to that is a quick run to the corner store and maybe take-out. Where’s the romance?

No Home Invite – if your person of interest is always suggesting that you all go back to your place and never opens his/her home up for company, something might be up! Besides, the invites should go both ways, if he/she expects to come to your house, you should be able to go to theirs!

Default Home Invite – to piggyback off the above, if you’re seeing someone who either wants you to come over their house or wants to come over yours … to post up … always, they might not be wanting to venture out for fears of being busted by someone else he/she might be stringing along.

Plans Never Stick – there’s always room for those one or two flubs that happen from time to time but if you notice a consistent change or cancellation of plans, he/she is playing games! The red flag should start waving vigorously if the change or cancellation is always communicated last minute or not at all.

Solo Time Only – when someone is excited about the possibility of a flourishing love connection, they share it with their friends and family! Therefore, they eventually want you meet a few of the boys/girls or siblings and cousins! Or at least there’s some talk about it, for instance, “I was telling my brother about you.” The mention usually leads to a meeting.

Leave your thoughts and signs in the thread!

Please remember to e-mail all topic suggestions, feedback and questions to loveandrelationships@bossip.com!

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  • DeAndra

    Oh, look. Someone read “He’s Just Not That Into You” and tried to pretend it was their own li’l blog post. Nice try.

  • Hannibal


  • DMO

    Look if you let it get to this point where you put yourself through these things then you don’t need to date anymore until you grow up some more. See most people put themselves in these situations because of money, attraction, and just plain dumbazzes. If you end up getting played, it’s your fault. You can tell within the first five minutes of meeting someone if they are real or fake.

  • DMO


    Incorrect that picture describes “any” couple that are bored or tired with each other. Your ignorant comment shows that every woman that meets you will look just like the above pictured woman.

  • Hannibal



  • 2Sweet

    @Hannibal shut up white boy! And this list is common sense! DUH. If a woman needs a list this BASIC to tell if her man is for real or not she should just stay single or celibate!

  • Candid Canuck

    this happens to men also….especially if uve gotten the cakes or close to it..sprung.

  • Get Real

    Unfortunately, some grown me still play these games. But they flip the script and make it look like it’s the females issues, when really they in denial of their own commitment issues.

    Thy are a mess and think it’s the woman.


    meh…..here’s 1 ya’ll 4got……no ‘check-ups during the day…ALL convos, txts, meetings happen all @ night!!!!!

  • ms truth

    @hannibal find another site to write your ignorant comments

  • ms truth


  • http://www.youtube.com/user/fawakatube queni

    Queni Pain


  • http://www.youtube.com/monaysway1 tell ya man he can kiss ms. kitty goodbye...

    This list makes sense also ya’ll forgot change in sexual habits-

    if just the other day we were going at it like rabbits and today you can’t get it up because you are “tired” or “didn’t know I was coming over”

    That is a BIG RED flag!

  • that damn sh#$ disturber

    actions over words…words to live by. i’ve learned that when a guy says “i’m different, you’ll never find another guy like me” RUN!!!

  • Miss Me

    I think this was an excellent list. Sure it qualifies as common sense, but when people are experiencing new love, or what they think is new love, a reminder is sometimes necessary and much needed. It can be very easy to forget the obvious.

  • thrasher

    You can’t be serious wit dis list… dis is 101 for high school and it had to be written by chicks. A person that is a true gamer, you WON’T know, until its Luther, feel me? Plus, a gamer chooses their victims, and knows what to look for. Most gamers specialize in a specific personality type, but dere are a few dat can do any… You know dat ole sayin…”game recognizes game?” Two gamers silently acknowledge each other and keep it movin (not unless dey want a challenge). But for the most part, you end up being attracted to people that think like you…(like attracts like)So dis list ain’t teachin nobody nada.

  • bylaw99

    Funny list, I cant front I’ve played all them games but the key is switching ish up…dont give so much of yourself too soon (men..the stroke could be deadly for some so give em a taste but not the whole meal)women get clingy too fast and should learn to not be head over heels after 1 month!

  • thrasher fan

    What thrasher said + 10

  • OOOooofucthaaaat!!!

    @thrasher and @thrasher fan the post was for both men and women not just women.

  • thrasher fan#2

    I totally agree with u, took the words out my mouth. I was thinking the same thing.

  • http://randomlovemusik.tumblr.com Tre'Baby

    i so agree right now!

  • Money First

    LOL-I have a problem with the “Default Home Invite.” Maybe a brother just likes to have quiet evenings at home-all the time!!

  • Kay Bee

    Im guilty of all of the above. 😦 But only, when Im not that into you. Some dudes try to force the matter, even after they have effed up someway, when it should just be over.

    Oh well!

  • Sher

    Thrasher, you are so right, props.

  • sexymike

    Both people should establish what they want
    up front, whether they want a serious relationship or a casual one (Friends with benefits.) Whatever works for them.

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