Ladies, It’s Okay to Play the Trump Card!

- By Bossip Staff

Good day Bossip Readers! Here’s to another “Almost There Thursday!” So let’s talk the “trump card,” ladies! You know how when you’re really feeling someone, you start to get excited about the possibilities and next thing you know you’re stalking your phone? Happens to the best. But it goes a little further than that . . . why is it when you readily avail yourself to a person that you’re feeling some kind of way about, it never seems to work or you end up so turned off by his antics you don’t care to continue seeing him? You think you made it too easy? To women it makes sense, if you’re wanting to get to know someone, why not invest the time and attention, right? Well, being that men love a challenge or a chase, it might be safe to say that the premature devotion method is not always fail-safe. So ladies, we have to remember how important the word “no” is and how most men don’t like that word for an answer! For whatever reason, though, it seems like men are often intrigued by the “hard to get” woman who’s not afraid to play the trump card and reject a date from time . . . and that’s when he calls the girl he knows that, without a doubt, will gladly oblige! Which one are you or have you, at some point in your life, been on both ends of the spectrum? If you’ve misplaced your trump card, here are a few ways to play it to keep that man you’re digging on his toes! Now, it’s not that you should “play games” at all, but you should definitely keep him guessing 😉 !

Don’t Be Hasty – fight the urge to answer a call or text right away! If you’re in the middle of something, finish the task, let him leave message and return his call or text when you can. Don’t rush because every so often, he’s thinking to himself, “man, why hasn’t she called me back yet?” This way you stay on his mind! He’ll like it. While he’d like to be the apple of your eye, he’ll respect and appreciate that you have an active life.

Don’t Wait Around – how many times have you set a time with a man and he’s late to either confirm or show up? If you have tentative date for Friday evening and you don’t hear from him at all until after work hours, scrap those plans because “I’ve already made other plans. I didn’t hear from you!” Give him a time cap – if you’re meeting him somewhere and he’s unreasonably late, keep it moving! Give him a call a let him know you’re leaving! But let him know, “hey, maybe we can get it together next time.” If there is a next time, trust he’ll be punctual!

Offer No Details – if you’ve been m.i.a. or taking your time getting back to him, he might hint around to wanting a bit of an explanation when he says, “I called you earlier . . .” That’s when he’d like you to say “oh, yeah! I was on a conference call” or “I was at the gym.” Instead, try this in an upbeat tone: “yeah, I saw! But how’s your day going?” Why does he need to know what you were doing when you didn’t answer? Keep him guessing!

Be Unavailable – you know that friend you have that all but disappears when she gets entrenched in a fresh, new romance only to resurface when it fizzles and fails? Don’t be that lady! Keep those girls nights in your schedule! When you are always available he knows that you’re either uninterested in other men or dismissing dates from other suitors and the chase is over. It’s okay to say, “Oh, you know what? Friday’s not a good night for me, give me another day that works for you.” Again, offer no details! You’re busy, period.

Keep Commitment Talks Ambiguous – Of course, in the beginning stages, these questions are bound to come about but don’t rehash every detail of your previous train wrecked love affairs or how ready you are to be in another relationship! Keep it light, “I’m not actively seeking a deep commitment, if it happens it happens but I have yet to be ‘swept off my feet’ as they say.” Now you’ve presented another challenge for him, you see? You’ve lived your whole life without him. Take your time trying to make him a fixture in your life. You don’t want to scare him away, you want to lure him to you!

Balance is Key – ladies, of course you must exercise discretion with this! A little bit of mystery goes a long way! Sometimes woman play so hard to get they end up running the man away! That is not the point, you’re playing hard to get to get gotten! Just don’t be scared to say “no” occasionally, it’s healthy! No man wants a “yes (wo)man.” Do all of the above in moderation, always be charming and unassuming and you should have him swooning in no time!

What do you think, Bossip readers?

Please remember to e-mail all topic suggestions, feedback and questions to loveandrelationships@bossip.com!

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Comments

  • getting down

    All of these damn rules and games when it comes to dating….I’m glad I’m married.

  • 1TruDiva with the PlatinumVocals--I'm just too good to be true!!

    First!

  • booboo

    oh so true. make him chase it.

  • P*o*r*n*o*hound

    p*o*r*n*

  • cruzan trini

    I’ve played these games before. They are stupid and don’t work on grown a$$ men.

    And ladies, don’t PRETEND to be busy, BE BUSY. Find things to do that fulfill you and take time, then you won’t be so worried about when a man is going to call or take you out.

  • cruzan trini

    1TruDiva with the PlatinumVocals–I’m just too good to be true!!
    5/20/10, 13:03:pm
    Why is the majority of these type of posts centered on what a woman needs to do???

    Y’all act like we’re desperate for a man.

    Last time I checked, it goes BOTH ways.
    —————————-
    @ Tru Diva
    Girl, you are so on point with your comment!!!

  • 1TruDiva with the PlatinumVocals--I'm just too good to be true!!

    How ’bout when……

    ….we take a day off, go get a mani/pedi, get our hair “did” take the time to put on some “sessy” leeengurrie, smellin’ all good, and yo’ fat azz climbes in the damn bed with those tattered azz d.r.a.w.e.r.z on!

    A hole centered right at the crack of yo azz!!

    You standin’ there with one knee on the bed….scratchin you left hindpart!

    Ya triflin’ sum-mum-a b.y.t.c.h!

  • 1TruDiva with the PlatinumVocals--I'm just too good to be true!!

    Hey Cruzin!!!

  • that damn sh#$ disturber

    excellent advice. i can’t stand to see a weak woman. i know a chic that’s dated a guy who has cheated on her throughout their entire relationship (she knows this) and she’s still sitting there like a dumba$$ waiting on him and believing his empty promises. i never knew women that stupid still existed in 2010.

  • 1TruDiva with the PlatinumVocals--I'm just too good to be true!!

    Or…..

    You call me, I answer all sessy and s.h.y.t, I ask “What’s up, baby? Whatchu doin?”

    You grunt and answer “I’m **grunts** on the **grunts** toilet. My **grunts** colitis done **grunts** flared up. You know I told you ’bout that, right?”

    GTFOOH witcha stankin’ azz! And wipe real good, ni&&a!

  • 5'10"STUNNER

    WOMEN RUN AS MUCH GAME AS MEN. THEY WILL PLAY WITH YOUR EMOTIONS, USE YOU TO KILL TIME, FOR ENTERTAINMENT ,ETC

  • 5'10"STUNNER

    DONT THINK YOU’RE HOME FREE BECAUSE SHE GIVES IT UP, OR ALWAYS ACCEPTS YOUR OFFERS. ANYWAY ALL THOSE GAMES ARE CHILDISH. WHO HAS TIME FOR THAT? I AM AKILLAH RICHARDS, GIVE UP YOUR SOUL OR ELSE! HA HA HA

  • MochaLove

    @Choco – hey boo!

    This is interesting…I gotta tell ya that this is sad and true. For those of you who’ve been out the dating scene for a while, you’re lucky!!! Having returned to dating after about 7/8 years the sad part is, this is halfway TRUE!! There are a lot of grown a*s men who still play little boy games!!! And for someone like me who like to be enamored and enjoy the butterflies, it don’t work! The less attention you pay to men these days, the harder they come after you! Like I say, it’s sad but true.

  • Plagueis The Wise

    Once you’ve seen it enough, you know the games that a woman is trying to play. Dudes with options end up deleting your number and moving on.

  • 5'10"STUNNER

    Stop thinking all women are DESPERATE TO LAND A MAN WHEN SOME OF US HAVE DIMES ON A 15YR WAIT LIST!

  • cruzan trini

    Yes, while it is true that the more available you are SOME men might chase you. But to go as far as pretending you are busy is just childish.

    Ladies, y’all act like men don’t know these games. Some men will see right through your act and leave your game playing a$$ alone.

  • 5'10"STUNNER

    CAUSE IM THE MILLENIUM BEACH, MOST WONT SEE IT AND IF YOU SEE IT ONCE, YOU’LL NEVER SEE IT TWICE. ACT LIKE YOU KNOW.

  • cruzan trini

    Oh and hello to you too Tru Diva. 🙂

  • http:chokolatemilk.blogspot.com Choco

    @Mocha
    Hey boo-how have you been. Not in the dating scene now butyou never know smh but when I was briefly I didn’t find many that played games just a lot with issues and if I smell a lie you are cut cuz if you doing that in beginning when there is no real committment no need for me to explore further!

  • DAYWALKER(THE DAYDREAM!!!)

    1)Don’t Be Hasty:

    Don’t rush because every so often, he’s thinking to himself, “man, why hasn’t she called me back yet?” This way you stay on his mind! He’ll like it.

    Ummmmm…NO, WE WON’T! No man wants to feel as though you ain’t got time for him, and if you play me that way, don’t be surprised to see me out with one of your friends or some other bytch! You need to make time for him, the same way he needs to make time for you. If you don’t, don’t get surprised if you find yourself by yourself!

  • DAYWALKER(THE DAYDREAM!!!)

    2)Don’t Wait Around:

    Give him a time cap, if you’re meeting him somewhere and he’s unreasonably late, keep it moving! Give him a call a let him know you’re leaving! But let him know, “hey, maybe we can get it together next time.” If there is a next time, trust he’ll be punctual!

    Okay, and when you start putting me on a damn timeclock, the only thing that will get accomplished is me getting brazzed off and finding another chick! I’m not defending anyone, but depending on ol’ boy’s job, he may have to work late a lot. I know that I often do, but either way, you as a lady need to realize the difference between a guy having to work, and him not being interested. If you like the idea of him taking you on shopping sprees and getting your hair and nails done, the n*ggah needs to work, so respect that shyt!

  • The Real

    Worst. Advice. Ever.

    Any woman playing this kind of games can guarantee she’ll never hear from me again.

  • MochaLove

    @Daywalker – hey you! You knoooooow you my shugah but uh….

    No man wants to feel as though you ain’t got time for him, and if you play me that way, don’t be surprised to see me out with one of your friends or some other bytch! You need to make time for him, the same way he needs to make time for you.
    ______________________________________________

    Men do it all the time. A lot of times yall seem like you don’t have time and the time you do spend is limited! Then I wouldn’t at all be surprised to see you out with a friend of mine casue you seemed gutter to begin with! Jus sayin!

  • DAYWALKER(THE DAYDREAM!!!)

    6)Balance is Key:

    Just don’t be scared to say “no” occasionally, it’s healthy! No man wants a “yes (wo)man.” Do all of the above in moderation, always be charming and unassuming and you should have him swooning in no time!

    Actually, if you constantly tell us “NO” all the time, eventually we are going to want a woman who tells us “HELLYEAH”!! And with the dating scene the way it is, believe me, it won’t be hard to find a replacement! This reason is why women should NEVER ask women for advice, or judge other women! If you wanna know, ask a damn dude! And not that punk puzzy azzed f@ggot at the damn beauty shop, either! Find yourself a straight dude to be friends with, (NOT F_UCK) and ask his opinion on stuff. That way, you can get a man’s perspective on stuff as opposed to doing guesswork.

  • 5'10"STUNNER

    Seriously they need to be teaching these old azz men to stop playing childish games and grow the f up! everyone has OPTIONS. IT GOES BOTH WAYS. THAT WHY THE ALWAYS END UP CRYING, STALKIN, HARASSING AND KILLING ONCE THEY GET NEXTED

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