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Good day Bossip Readers! Here’s to another “Almost There Thursday!” So let’s talk the “trump card,” ladies! You know how when you’re really feeling someone, you start to get excited about the possibilities and next thing you know you’re stalking your phone? Happens to the best. But it goes a little further than that . . . why is it when you readily avail yourself to a person that you’re feeling some kind of way about, it never seems to work or you end up so turned off by his antics you don’t care to continue seeing him? You think you made it too easy? To women it makes sense, if you’re wanting to get to know someone, why not invest the time and attention, right? Well, being that men love a challenge or a chase, it might be safe to say that the premature devotion method is not always fail-safe. So ladies, we have to remember how important the word “no” is and how most men don’t like that word for an answer! For whatever reason, though, it seems like men are often intrigued by the “hard to get” woman who’s not afraid to play the trump card and reject a date from time . . . and that’s when he calls the girl he knows that, without a doubt, will gladly oblige! Which one are you or have you, at some point in your life, been on both ends of the spectrum? If you’ve misplaced your trump card, here are a few ways to play it to keep that man you’re digging on his toes! Now, it’s not that you should “play games” at all, but you should definitely keep him guessing 😉 !

Don’t Be Hasty – fight the urge to answer a call or text right away! If you’re in the middle of something, finish the task, let him leave message and return his call or text when you can. Don’t rush because every so often, he’s thinking to himself, “man, why hasn’t she called me back yet?” This way you stay on his mind! He’ll like it. While he’d like to be the apple of your eye, he’ll respect and appreciate that you have an active life.

Don’t Wait Around – how many times have you set a time with a man and he’s late to either confirm or show up? If you have tentative date for Friday evening and you don’t hear from him at all until after work hours, scrap those plans because “I’ve already made other plans. I didn’t hear from you!” Give him a time cap – if you’re meeting him somewhere and he’s unreasonably late, keep it moving! Give him a call a let him know you’re leaving! But let him know, “hey, maybe we can get it together next time.” If there is a next time, trust he’ll be punctual!

Offer No Details – if you’ve been m.i.a. or taking your time getting back to him, he might hint around to wanting a bit of an explanation when he says, “I called you earlier . . .” That’s when he’d like you to say “oh, yeah! I was on a conference call” or “I was at the gym.” Instead, try this in an upbeat tone: “yeah, I saw! But how’s your day going?” Why does he need to know what you were doing when you didn’t answer? Keep him guessing!

Be Unavailable – you know that friend you have that all but disappears when she gets entrenched in a fresh, new romance only to resurface when it fizzles and fails? Don’t be that lady! Keep those girls nights in your schedule! When you are always available he knows that you’re either uninterested in other men or dismissing dates from other suitors and the chase is over. It’s okay to say, “Oh, you know what? Friday’s not a good night for me, give me another day that works for you.” Again, offer no details! You’re busy, period.

Keep Commitment Talks Ambiguous – Of course, in the beginning stages, these questions are bound to come about but don’t rehash every detail of your previous train wrecked love affairs or how ready you are to be in another relationship! Keep it light, “I’m not actively seeking a deep commitment, if it happens it happens but I have yet to be ‘swept off my feet’ as they say.” Now you’ve presented another challenge for him, you see? You’ve lived your whole life without him. Take your time trying to make him a fixture in your life. You don’t want to scare him away, you want to lure him to you!

Balance is Key – ladies, of course you must exercise discretion with this! A little bit of mystery goes a long way! Sometimes woman play so hard to get they end up running the man away! That is not the point, you’re playing hard to get to get gotten! Just don’t be scared to say “no” occasionally, it’s healthy! No man wants a “yes (wo)man.” Do all of the above in moderation, always be charming and unassuming and you should have him swooning in no time!

What do you think, Bossip readers?

Please remember to e-mail all topic suggestions, feedback and questions to loveandrelationships@bossip.com!

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