Dear Bossip: I’m Engaged but Still Pursue Other Women

I’m engaged to a beautiful woman with whom I’ve shared the last 4 years of my life and we’re getting married in the fall. I truly believe she is “the one” for me and my life would be incomplete without her, she’s my partner and I love her. I consider myself a good guy with pretty decent principles and values but I still find a way to complicate things for myself. I love women and even though I’ve found my wife, I do stupid, childish things and if she ever found out she would be hurt and would likely call off our wedding. I still approach women like I’m single. I call them up, shoot the breeze and if I think she’s interesting I’ll take her out and hope she gets drunk enough to invite me to her place and this is the cycle. I am a gentleman and there’s never any pressure for any of these woman to have sex with me but I don’t stick around enough to find out either. I haven’t had sex with any other woman since the engagement but I did receive oral sex from one young lady. The closer the wedding gets the more I feel like I’m not ready but at the same time I can’t lose my girl. I’m 33 years old and know better than to play these games. I know that I need to make a choice and it should be easy but I’m not all the way sure I can stop with the other women. The last thing I want is to get married and have my wife thinking she’s married a stranger. What do I do? I’m sincerely confused.

Good day to you, sir! Thank you for writing in and sharing. So you’re getting married but still play the field and now that you’ve made it a practice, you don’t know what you want? Please do not forget the theory of “quality vs. quantity.” It’s not about how many women you can charm and possibly seduce but, more so, about the ONE that withstands the test of time, the ONE you can confide in, the ONE who will bear your children, the ONE you grow old with! All you need is ONE and if your life is “incomplete without her” you shouldn’t have a problem doing away with the others once you firmly decide to.

On the other hand, you are lying to the other women you pursue and -as you should know – lies beget more lies and the more you tell, the more you start to believe them! It’s kind of like you’re living in two worlds, taking on two different personas and liking the both of them so much you don’t know which way to go. Quite the tangled web, no? Maybe you should take a few days to yourself and vibe on what you really want before you make any swift decisions. Do you want a marriage or do you want to continue to stay single? You cannot do both. And if you feel like she’s “the one” why would you walk away or do anything to potentially destroy what you have? Reevaluate what and who’s important in your life and focus on the end reward!

Remember, though, that it is completely natural to feel apprehensive about taking that plunge and a lot of your indiscretions could be solely reactionary and some would say you’re doing what many men do before they take those vows. But to your own admission, you say know better so do better and do it now! The last thing you want is to mess around, get caught and lose the best thing to ever happened to you and you’ll have to live with that knowing it wasn’t worth it so don’t take the risk! Do the right thing, man! Do the right thing!

What do you think Bossip Readers?

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