Do Nice Guys Really Finish Last?

- By Bossip Staff

Good day Bossip Readers! Here’s to another “Almost There Thursday!” The question of the day is: do nice guys finish last? As cliche as the term may sound, it’s often rang true to many men who are or have been the quintessential “nice guy” who didn’t quite snag the desired outcome. Or, the woman who knowingly refused a man because he was “too nice.” Clearly, there is some truth to the old saying so let’s explore the theory. Why is it that the “nice guy” is often placed in the friend zone, less respected or taken advantage of in the dating realm? If a good guy is what many woman seek, then why is he often overlooked as a suitable candidate? Because he has yet to “grow a set” as some would say or he lacks the perfect combination of “thug” and “good guy” that other women prefer. We spoke to a group of men and women on the matter and here’s what to had to say!

Lacks a Backbone

“My brother is one of those ‘nice guys’ and I hate his all of his girlfriends! I have yet to meet a women that he’s been into that I actually like for him. He’s always dating these chicks that walk all over him and treat him like a*s. I remember so many woman that I’ve had to set straight for talking to him sideways. I wish he would just grow a set and put his foot down but he’s too afraid to lose them as a result of it. But I keep telling him that they’ll respect him more if he did. He’s a good-loking guy too so it baffles me that he’s such a pushover. It’s really not cute. – Gingi, 31

Easily Manipulated

“The nice guy types will do whatever it takes to be the man you want him to be even if it’s not in his character. Like if I say I like a man with facial hair, he’ll grow a beard. If I say I like a man to take charge, he’ll try but fail miserably because he’s trying too hard. If I say I like dudes with tatoos he’ll ask me to go with him to pick one out but try to play it off like ‘oh. I’ve always wanted one.’ It’s just that kind of guy that’s really goes out his way to be someone he’s not to get a woman’s affection.” – Tracy, 30

Can’t Make a Decision

“I dated a ‘nice guy’ for a while and he was really good to me. Treated me nice and showered me with compliments and whole nine. What was so annoying about him was he could never make a decision! For instance, I would ask him ‘what are we doing tonight?’ And his answer was always, ‘I don’t know. What do you want to do.’ It just got old. He’s the man so he should make a decision from time to time!” -Danielle, 27

Better as Friends

“Actually I dated a man who ended up being a really good friend of mine. That was about two years ago and I thought he was charming and sweet and very, very handsome but I just wasn’t attracted to him. So we went on a few dates and I thought that maybe I could grow to become attracted to him and we one night we kissed and messed around but it just wasn’t there for me. He didn’t really have the mannish command that I look for in a man and I knew then that he wouldn’t satisfy me in the bed. But we’re still friends to this day and I know that would do anything for me like I would for him. We just weren’t compatible . . . romantically. ” -Jackie, 30

Too Mushy

“Nice guys are too sentimental. I’m so not the sappy kind of gal, you know what I mean? I like more of a bad boy who doesn’t wear his heart on his sleeve all the time. Nice guys are always pouring their heart out and have like an over-the-top display of emotions. Like I said, bad boys who know how to be a nice guy when it’s necessary are more my speed. I don’t need a crybaby, I do enough crying for the both of us so I don’t need my man to be soft like that. Somebody has to be the man and I don’t want to be.” – Gretchen, 29

What do you think Bossip readers? Are some women giving the good guys a hard time or are they truly too nice?

Look for what the fellas had to say next week!

Please remember to e-mail all topic suggestions, feedback and questions to!

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  • cruzan trini

    Nice guys finish last in my book. I like a man that takes charge and wears the pants. I like a man that won’t back down and doesn’t take crap off of anyone.

  • Matix B ( Oh no here we go again)

    I’m on the fence. I used to only date thugs, but got sick of being a surety, now I date nice guys and they just won’t leave me alone.

  • anewme

    They just usually have small packages…..sorry, but it’s true. 🙂


    nice guys do finish last!! personally i have gievn up a few ‘nice guys’ for the ‘bad boy’ y??? cuz i’m dumb!!!!!!!

    i really do feel like women need that sense of protection and security from a man and 4 some stupid reason some us feel like the ‘nice guy’ won’t be able 2 do or protect us like the ‘bad boy’ would, but what i have learn’d (the hard way) is no matter what ‘category’ a man falls in2…. A GOOD MAN WILL MAKE U FEEL SAFE, COMFORTABLE, PROTECTED, N’ HAPPY @ ALL TIMES!!!!!


  • resurrected

    I nice person is not a weak person just because there heart is not tainted, jaded and hostile toward the process. We have so many bullies in this social they will never understand what it mean to be the nice guy or just a person with some peace…

  • B3 Fearless

    6/10/10, 14:28:pm

    “I think nice guys and hard working people get there reward late”

    Too true!

  • B3 Fearless

    6/10/10, 14:25:pm

    They just usually have small packages…..sorry, but it’s true.

    Not in my experience. I guess I’m just lucky. 😀

  • Here to Share Knowledge, Not argue with you

    Nope…they just tend to be slower with their approach and therefore miss out. But thank God, I am older now and know to just wait their little shy azzes out or even give them a little nudge…It is so much better than dealing with these overly aggressive azzholes who are only out for themselves…..Nice guys are the best….nerds are even better…:)

  • that damn sh#$ disturber

    sometimes people confuse nice with weak. if a woman thinks you are weak then she doesn’t feel safe enough with you to know you will “handle” things (unless she’s one to dominate). we grow out of the bad boy routine when we mature. of course, women want a nice guy but if she can run all over him then what’s the point. you can be nice and still be tough without being an a$$hole…

  • http://urnotpdiddyloser 5'10" AKILLAH RICHARDS

    No, they dont. However there are very very few nice people in this evil world. Not even the little kids are nice, so can it. Trying to be nice in one situation to attain something specific does not make you a good guy.

  • Govt. Cheese

    I am a little torn about this. Physically I have no racial preference but I believe it is one of the reasons why I predominantly date white women (Yes I went there but hey, this is a black site).

    I am an attorney, well paying job, good looking (no homo but women often stare at me), but I find that when I talk to a lot of black women, maybe its my proper dialect, or my tucked in shirt, but I realize that a lot of black women aren’t feeling that. As a result I date more white chicks and very beautiful ones actually. All my friends who are black lawyers, MBA’s and Doctors are also usually with white women…

    I think in the black community this is a big issue except it has more serious consequences. A black “bad boy” ends up dead or in jail, whereas a white “bad boy” might just be the guy who drives a convertible. Either way I see lots of black women leaving hardworking, good guys, because they don’t fit the bad boy image they have.

    I am a self-proclaimed “good guy” but I am not finishing last. I am interested is seeing the responses…

  • Hood Folk

    Women want a bad boy until they’re 30 and a single mother and their babies dads in prison.Then they’ll settle for anyone willing to take care of kids that aren’t theirs.I’m not that guy.

  • Here to Share Knowledge, Not argue with you

    @ anewme
    6/10/10, 14:25:pm

    They just usually have small packages…..sorry, but it’s true.
    So you would rather have a large pecker and be treated like crap or take a little fireman and work with it and be treated like the queen you are? I’m going with the little pecker and some peace….

  • http://urnotpdiddyloser 5'10" AKILLAH RICHARDS

    I think the sister needs to mind her own business because many guys like bossy beyouches. Not every man is into quiet, submissive women. Not every woman is into bad boys or the “macho” type. It’s a matter of taste/preferences/moods.

  • thicklikecornbread

    Yes, nice guys finish last. A woman will lose respect for a guy if he is a pushover. White, Black, Mexican, it dont matter. I have male friends who wives cheated & left them only to run to sorry as$ men. One wife left her PREACHER husband for another woman. Another wife left her PREACHER husband for a 66 y/o man. My other friends wife left him for a bum. Now, all of the women are struggling but they REFUSE to go home. I dont get it. All of these men were paying bills & taking care of home (what every woman wants). So, YES nice guys finish last

  • Somali Ninga

    Blacks finish last

  • bacchus

    The guys described in the opinions are not “nice”, but moreso “wimps”. Being a wimp/pushover is not being a nice guy, I cannot stress this enough.

  • late19832001

    Nice guys will always finish last cause females dont know what they want… Females these days say they want a good man and when they get one, they dont know how to treat him right… But when they feel like the guy is “too nice”, they want to mess with a so called,”thug” but then get treated wrong….

  • Honey Love

    oh and my sensitive nice guy has no kids. guess what no baby mama drama. he is just so easy and makes me so happy. okay people i am very HAPPY!!! had the bad boys and thank God every night for blessing me with this nice guy. thank you Jesus!!!!

  • http://urnotpdiddyloser 5'10" AKILLAH RICHARDS

    @Govt. Cheese: If you’re talking to black women of your own financial/educational background, or just beautiful black women, there standards are very high and options are many. Im sure it’s not your “proper dialect” or “shirt tucked in” that they’re not feeling. lol it’s something else

  • thicklikecornbread

    @ Govt. Cheese,

    I think that Black women are turned off by your languange & your neat appearance. When the “bad boy” Black image is primarily shoved down the our/public’s throat EVERYDAY, some Black women do not know how to respond to an educated man in proper dress. They want you to dress like Diddy or Rick Ross– Air Force 1’s, a nice pair of starched jeans, a baseball cap, & a pinky ring. NOT like Charles Barkely or Kenny Smith (those guys wear nice, expensive suits).

  • Here to Share Knowledge, Not argue with you

    @Hood Folk
    6/10/10, 14:50:pm

    Women want a bad boy until they’re 30 and a single mother and their babies dads in prison.Then they’ll settle for anyone willing to take care of kids that aren’t theirs.I’m not that guy.
    And nobody asked you, buddy….so keep it moving….

  • Kreole King






    THE PROOF IS IN THE NUMBERS, not in the denials from women on this blog, admit it or not it’s the truth.

    My question is, WHY?


  • Honey Love

    @govt cheese something must be wrong with you b/c black women like a good looking dude. my boo is good looking and he is successful. he is both and that is the best. dude you might want to look in the mirror and see what is REALLY wrong. sounds like its not the black women but more so YOU black man!!!

  • http://urnotpdiddyloser 5'10" AKILLAH RICHARDS

    White women don’t judge black men with the same criteria as black women because they don’t KNOW as much about black men nor have the known AS MANY black men.

    If I wasn’t a pot smoker, I wouldn’t know what was the difference between “KUSH” and “BUNK” Nor would i know where to find it, would I?

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