Dear Bossip: My Man Won’t Spoil Me Anymore

- By Bossip Staff

I want to know if I’m wrong for feeling this way. I’ve been living with my guy for about a year now and in the beginning I had no complaints. When we first met he would always take me shopping before we went out for the night and anything I wanted he would buy for me. If I like a pair of shoes he would show up with them or order them online and have them shipped to the house. If I said I wanted a dress he would give me the money for it. We used to go out to nice restaurants all the time and pop bottles at the clubs but we don’t even do that as much as we used to. I’m starting to get to a point where I’m annoyed by him hollering broke and always wanting to stay home and telling me to cook which I don’t do that well LOL!!! We’re young (he’s 28 and I’m 26) and we don’t have any kids or pets so I don’t see why we can’t have fun. I mean he used to give me $300 dollars to get my hair and nails done once a month and that stopped to!! I get Indian hair to so if he wants me to continue to look good I need upkeep LOL!!!! I don’t know if I sound like a spoiled brat but his generosity is a lot of the reason why I was so drawn to him. What should I do?

Good day, sis! Thank you for writing in and sharing. Okay, wow! Where to start, where to start? You’re with a man who has been very generous but because he’s not buying you things and taking you out to “pop bottles” you’re annoyed? Why can’t you go out without him? Don’t you have girlfriends you can hit the clubs with?You can pop all the bottles you want with your girls! Why can’t you go out to nice restaurants anymore? Because he’s not paying, right? You are 26-years-old, sis! You’re a grown woman and you should be able to first, afford and maintain your own “upkeep” and second, take HIM out from time to time!

You very clearly stated that his generosity was what you were attracted to and now that he’s no longer spending, you’re not feeling him like you were. You realize we’re in a recession, right? Times are requiring that we not spend so frivolously! Perhaps the worst part is, not once did you mention what you bring to the table or what you’re willing to sacrifice to make things work! Do you have a job? Do you contribute to the household expenses? Have you tried to learn how to cook – not just for him but for yourself also? Can you find a less expensive type of weave to rock or can you go natural for a few months? Do you occasionally drop 20-25 dollars on the kitchen counter for his haircuts ever? You like the generosity but where’s the reciprocity? It goes both ways and you have to give too! Otherwise, you’ll suck him dry . . . if you haven’t already.

What should you do? It’s all up to you. Ask yourself and answer honestly. Do you really love this man or are you just using him? Are you truly invested, emotionally, in this relationship or was it all about the gifts, dinners and “upkeep” cash? If you don’t want him, let him go! There are so many women out there who would love to lounge around the house on the weekends and cook for/with an adoring man who possesses the willingness to shower her with gifts and dinners. And for most, it wouldn’t be an expectation or frequent necessity. If you do love him, show him everyday, be less concerned with nights out on the town and spend warm, cozy nights at the house with him!

What do you think about this one Bossip Readers?

Please remember to e-mail all topic suggestions, feedback and questions to loveandrelationships@bossip.com!

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Comments

  • Matix B Women in the Hockey Hall of Fame!!

    I’m not reading her bull shyt. GTFOH what ever I see that I want I FAQING BUY IT FOR MY SELF. WAKE UP LADIES, stop waiting for a man to be your Daddy and bring comething to the table your damn self. GTFOH it’s 2010!!!!!!

  • foreallydoe

    The response in the post pretty much summed it up for me.

    There are men who take a woman shoping everytime they go out? Bananas. What was she bringing to the table? I noticed that she never mentioned what she did for him. I’m actualy just going to conclude that this letter is fake for my own sanity.

  • WTF

    She take my money…

    When I’m in neeeeeed….

    Yeah she’s a triflin….

    Friend indeed…..

    OOO she’s a goldigga

  • LYRICS

    OH LAWD!!!! NO ADVICE JUS A BIG OL’ OH LAWD!!!!

    U HAVE SOME GROWIN’ UP 2 DO SWEETIE!!!

  • HASTE ONE */*/*/*505/*/*/* STAND UP

    SPOILED BIA BIA!!! This is where Slim Thugs views come in to play!

  • Matix B Women in the Hockey Hall of Fame!!

    Soon she’ll be complaining about NOT having a man. I can’t stand these substandard females making us virtuous ladies look bad.

  • rhona mattan

    golddigger!

  • Matix B Women in the Hockey Hall of Fame!!

    Try picking up the tab Bytch, maybe he’ll come out of pocket once you pay for the McDonald’s Value Combo.

  • You Smell Me??

    **grabs bag of popcorn**

    LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

  • WTF

    @Kristina: Nobody said all black women were gold diggers… just this one. Try not to apply the characteristics of one over the entire group… people tend to frown on that (sarcasm)

  • Matix B Women in the Hockey Hall of Fame!!

    If it costs you $300 monthly for upkeep, I bet you $3 your ugly as all hell. Naturally beautiful women only need Vaseline, works for your whole body. Buy me some brand name petroleum jelly and we are good to go homie, ride or die.

  • Psych Major

    @Kristina–100% co sign, you beat me to it!!

  • It's Me

    Trick get a job and pay for ya own shyt… Home boy tired of supporting ya azz.. Besides we in a recession and he like fuk the bullshyt

  • WTF

    @MatrixB: i’d double that bet… and to be honest, I’m questioning the truthfulness of this email myself….are there still women out there that are like this…honestly

  • !@#$%^&*()!)

    He gave you more than what some women get sound like your being spoiled now you wanna throw tantrums

  • Kristina

    Lol@ WTF. I’m just sayin!

  • Madess718

    First!

  • GaPeach

    You crazy, He did all that to get you. How long you thought it suppose to ride out. For him, he’s a dumb MF.. Hair $300/ Month, Smh

  • Matix B Women in the Hockey Hall of Fame!!

    He should save the $300 and upgrade to a real woman who actually sees a man as a partner and not a bag of $$$$$$$$$$$$$.

  • You Smell Me??

    @ Matix B

    Naturally beautiful women only need Vaseline, works for your whole body. Buy me some brand name petroleum jelly and we are good to go homie, ride or die

    :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

    You aint lyin either…

  • Matix B Women in the Hockey Hall of Fame!!

    she also said “indian hair” GTFOH!!!!!!

  • Cdizzy

    Oh yea,maybe ya should treat him the way you want to be treated. Shower him with lavish things and take him out for fun. if you can’t do that then maybe you don’t deserve him.

  • Matix B Women in the Hockey Hall of Fame!!

    Learn to cook for yourself and you will see that you are fitter, and less cranky. Now go burn that boiling water, you sorry excuse for a woman.

  • Psych Major

    “I get Indian hair to so if he wants me to continue to look good I need upkeep”-LOL??are you for real?

    I doubt the validity of this email too,Majority of females I know support themselves,I am not saying its impossible,but this seems a bit fabricated.However, I despise gold diggers.

  • Yapper(Montego Bay This Friday)

    Bish get a mother bleeping job. And pick up the book Cooking For Dummies.

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