Bad News For Matrimony-dom, Study Shows 1 In 5 Adults Are In Love With Someone Who Is NOT Their Partner

- By Bossip Staff

A recent poll of 3,000 people in relationships showed that one in five adults are actually in love with someone other than their significant other.

That means that twenty percent of adults in relationships are in love with someone else. For reasons that are unknown, but likely have to do with finances, desire, children, and fear, people settle down in relationships even when their hearts belong to someone else.

The scariest part about this is just under five million people who are either married or living with a significant other could have strong romantic feelings for someone else.

DAYUUUM — that’s fu*ked up! What ever happened to that song “If you can’t have the one you love… love the one you’re with?”

Do you think this study is accurate? Why are so many people unhappy in their relationships? Does this study explain situations like Fantasia’s recent scandal and Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz relationship?

Is it more important for people to pursue what (or who) they really want, or to live by their vows and work to make the relationships they committed to successful?


More Stories From Bossip


  • what_am_iDoing


    • meetlove112

      Would you like to have an i-nterracial da-ting? I met my black guy on

      {—– interracial loving -c o m ——}.

      It is an interracial dating site for s-exy singles of all races.

      there has been thousands of single members online and many black and white single girls or guys waitting for you maybe you will like it.(*^__^*)

      ,)))),”)~~ ,”~)
      ╱◥█◣ ╱◥█◣

  • Tracey

    So, it is just a case of wanting something you cannot have and lusting over it, if people knew the real meaning of love, they would be able to tell it apart from fantasy, lust, the tricks our minds play on us and our emotions and reality.

    Love is sticking with one person for 10-20 year, getting through the differences, getting through the arguments, accepting your partner and growing as one together and more!

  • Kiss My A$$ Bossip


    Call her right now and tell her, for real!!!!!!!

  • BadAzz

    somewhat tru im in &#9829 with God and he's not my partner 🙂

  • BadAzz


  • Sleepless in Cali

    What should I do? My live-in boyfriend and I dated right after a hard break up between me and my ex. Years later, here we are, sharing a home and making plans for the future but I can't stop thinking and dreaming about my ex. I have seen him a few times recently just to try and settle my feelings and move on (dumb move- because it did nothing but reopen the wound). My ex says he loves me and I truly love my man, but I can't control my feelings for my ex. What would you do?

    • Just so you know

      Stop living a lie – that's what I'd do. It's not fair for you to keep up a relationship with a man who doesn't have 100% of your heart. He deserves more.

      It also seems like you didn't even give yourself enough "me" time after your break-up to fully heal from it and find yourself again before getting into another relationship. Please, take time to love yourself after you split with someone to ensure that 1) you're fully over that person 2) you are in the right mind to commit to whoever next comes into your life without excess emotional baggage from your previous situation

      You may feel like you've put a lot of years into this man to give up now but don't let that be a reason to stay with someone as it's a pretty flimsy reason

      Just think about it this way – if the shoe was on the other foot and your man still had feelings for his ex after all these years with you, how would you like him to handle the situation? Treat others the way you want to be treated….

    • Sleepless in Cali

      Thanks, I have gotten some really excellent advice and I know that I am going to make the right decision now. Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Just so you know

      I'm glad that you were open-minded enough to consider my advice. At the end of the day it is your life and you have every right to do as you please lol. I'm just an outsider looking in…..

      But just for completeness, what decision have you reached? Enquiring minds wanna know lol

    • telli

      It's never a good idea to move too quickly after a breakup. I have never understood why people move from one relationship to another in short spans of time. I guess fear of being alone perhaps.

    • Torn in Texas

      Why are the administrators deleting my comments?

  • Myhairparadise

    They are not in love they probably in lust at best in like. Things always look better when they not with you fulltime
    check out myhairparadise dot com for hair care tips and hairstyles

  • joobi

    This is no great discovery here ppl. Ppl Always will want what they cant have. The solution is to either stick with who you have or dont marry so that you can play the field.

    • Curious1

      Right….I mean don't ask anyone to marry you…just don't bring it up and keep dating and sleepinjg around…This could be proof that BW are on to something…Staying Single to Mingle…lol….Gotta love it…just gotta love it…

    • SitTheF*ckDown


  • A Mess

    They should do this study and ask people with "arranged marriages" their opinion. In some culture, people marry for status, security etc. This is nothing new.

  • koko_2

    @honeylove If you know the "brown girl" in the picture then maybe you know that image was taken from a book cover and I'm sure her husband knows.

  • BayAreaChick

    Not surprised at all – there are many things that have no meaning at all anymore because we are self-righteous and want to do what feels right instead of what IS right. Marriage is just one of those things that no longer has any value or is cherished like it used to be, as is child innocence and honesty.

  • Kiss My A$$ Bossip

    I believe it, considering some of the things that I've witnessed & experienced at work…

    I've witnessed men hanging out with female co-workers a little bit TOO much… I personally don't believe that men & women can be friends like that (*spending A LOT of time with one another) without someone catching feelings…

    Sometimes when I randomly compliment a woman (*married or in a so-called serious relationship) you can tell in her response that she doesn't get complimented a lot or shown much appreciation… And that's sad…

    Too many people out there too pressed to be married and/or to say that they've got somebody and are in phony a$$
    relationships or loveless marriages…

    • BayAreaChick

      I agree with the work thing – I have seen way too many married people shamelessly and openly flirt with other individuals and it usually always leads to something else after work. I had a co-worker dating a married man in our office which his wife would frequent. It made me feel sleezy because I something about her life that she seemingly knew nothing about.

    • Resurrected

      I agree so many people are involved in working relationships. I work in HR and I can't tell you the amount of people trying to put there boyfriends and girlfriends on there insurance/ benefits when they should know that it is illegal. People just want what they want no matter if the reason is valid or not. Work relationships are usually trouble unless you are married to that person. We have become a society who does not think anymore we just follow the trends of people and the media.

    • nite stick

      I will agree with you there, I think a lot of ppl marry for financial wealth instead of long term partnership and love.

    • StarChild

      Too many people out there too pressed to be married and/or to say that they've got somebody and are in phony a$$
      relationships or loveless marriages…

      SO TRUE!

  • Allie


  • sukanya

    for me im not married just keeping my options open thats what i told the guy but the bad thing is i still like my ex and im not using him but im hoping the person could help me get over him because this happens with every guy i start to get to know


    @Sleepless in Cali
    You know, I know many women like you-you may still be in love with an ex while going with a new man.Let me tell you something–if you ex TRULY loved you,he would NOT BE YOUR EX,he would still be with you.Don't get yourself screwed up over old news.I'm warning you because I know a woman personally that didn't listen when i told her the same thing(she let her p*ssy make the decision for her) and now she's 45 with no man,she lost on both ends.the ex only came back to her because she was easy prey for him..If a man is there for you,helping you with a home and really looking forward to a future with you,don't be a fool and let old history mess it up–your ex is the same man that broke it off with you.You are going to mess up anything thats supposed to help your future if you go backards with that.

  • yah...

    they polled 3,000 people?!?!….that doesnt sound accurate ta me!!!

  • Cantria

    these comments are soooooooo hilarious! especially the first 2 comments… too funny

  • Kitten

    Human nature, we always want something we dare not have…yes you're in love as long as you are with that other person, but soon as you get them – the thrill is gone. Get a grip!

  • Aretha'sLeftBoob

    I think it's very selfish to stay in a relationship with someone when you're in love with someone else…Sure you can't control who you love, but you can damn sure control the situations you put yourself in. In the end, someone will be getting their feelings hurt because of your selfishness. You should at least give the person who is in love with you the choice to decide if they want to stay and fight for your love, but when you're bringing in outside parties you're not playing fair and definitely playing with fire…and you WILL get burned.

    • Ms.EJ

      I 100% agree. I literally was going to post the same exact comment until I seen your comment. *sidenote* I actually like this new layout, particularly the reply section,*

    • LovelyB

      couldnt have said it any better! seriously


    @Sleepless in Cali
    He's nothing to get over really–the relationship IS A DONE DEAL!!If he thought of you as much,he wouldn't have let you go!!!!I told you the story about that female friend of mine to hopefully wake you up—alot of women mess their own lives up with just one dumb decision and i'm telling you,if you try to make something out of nothing with your ex,you will live to regret it.Here it is you have a man willing to treat you like a woman is supposed to be treated and you're thinking of an ex??please start thinking with your head,i get the feeling you're thinking with the wrong body parts.I grew up in an old school family–we were taught by our parents that if you meet a man that treats you like a woman should be treated,does anything he can to provide for the both of you and respects you,you marry him,have his babies and make his life comfortable.

    • Sleepless in Cali

      Agreed! I'm officially HEALED! I can't thank you enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean that!!!!!!!!

    • CAT EYES

      I hope you mean it because let me tell you something–time waits for no one and every woman's biolgical clock must think wisely about your life…..

    • dont matter

      Umm you make valid points but every situation isn't the same and just because you knew someone that had a similar situation doesn't mean its that cut and dry in this one for you really don't know the whole story. I mean I see shorty agrees with your advice which isn't bad BUT its just seems like your making this one general statement like you have all the answers and well, you don't even know these people…Justsayn

  • MS_NYC

    At the end of the day that "love" feeling goes away and you are stuck with what you have built together (and for some folks it ain't much). Some people yearn for the butterflies in the stomach feeling and start looking elsewhere but a lot of the times, they end up leaving something better at home. At this point, I'm feeling like marriage is bullsh*t. Nowadays no one seems to want to really make things work and put in the time. Its like Men AND Women are both trying to get "over" or play the next person. SMH

  • ImJustSayin

    Duh! Love is not black n White! there is a whole gray area. That is why cheating is so rampant.

  • Ang

    If you really love someone its damn near impossible to turn it off but that doesnt mean you have to be together. People grow apart all the time and move on but still have love for their ex.

  • nite stick

    You would aleast think with the STD's out here ppl would take that in consideration but I guess not.

  • katrina

    I had a guy who left me to "be with his kids", so he went back to his ex-wife. It was barely 2mths later he was calling me and we were hooking up. This went on for about a year, I'm listening to his I love you's and about how unhappy he was with the choice he made. I felt so stupid for believing it.

    So, I know that this situation is very possible, too bad i was the one on the wrong end of it.

1 2 3 4
blog comments powered by Disqus