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What’s up Bossip! I want to start off by saying that I love my husband with all my heart and despite our rocky periods, we’re a great team. We’ve been married for 7 years now and we have 2 kids and a business that we run together. He’s wonderful with our kids and he way he loves me is what I’ve dreamt of since I was a little girl. I blush when he says sweet things to me and I still get those little butterflies when I see him. This might sound contradictory but we don’t have a problem in the romance department but the sex is getting boring. It’s the same thing over and over again and we’ve tried a lot of things that work for the moment or a short period of time. My husband approached me the other day about having a threesome and at first I was offended. Then I thought about it and I’m kind of coming around to the idea only because I’ve slept with women in the past and he knows about it. He said that I could pick the woman and set the boundaries but I’m scared that we would be opening Pandora’s box and that he might want to have threesome all the time if I decide to go through with it. I would want it to be a one time thing but I know a little better than that! How would this affect our marriage? Should I go through with it or can the idea all together?

Happy Friday to you, sis! Thank you for writing in and sharing your story! Yikes! Your husband wants to have a threesome and you’re considering it, which is a more than a lot of women would do! Many wouldn’t even consider it and shut down the idea before the question could be asked all the way! Inviting another woman to bed with you and your husband is extremely risky on a number of levels. You’re both adults so we’ll assume that you wouldn’t choose anyone in your close circle of friends and that safety measures are not an option. Your husband knows that you’ve slept with women so you should already know that he’s pictures the visuals in head on numerous occasions and would love nothing more than to witness his fantasy take place! “Fantasy” being the operative word and some are best left undone.

Communication is always key and if you feel like the both of you can handle having a threesome without it having an affect on your marriage in any way, go for it! It could bring your sex life back to life or alter it to the point of no return . . . quite the toss-up! However, you should be completely honest with yourself first and decide whether this is something the both of you want to do and not something you’re wiling to do to just make your husband happy. For the sake of argument, though, would he be willing to invite another man into your bedroom if it was something you wanted to try? Doubtful, right? If the shoe were on the other foot would you all be having this conversation? Might be something to consider, no?

The importance of communication cannot be stressed enough! If he’ll allow you to choose the woman and follow your guidelines then you must be firm in your requirements. If this is one time deal, let him know that and don’t waver on your position for a minute. If it’s something you’re willing to try but you don’t want him to penetrate her, let it be known from the gate and don’t waver! The Pandora’s box part of the whole scenario is something that you won’t know unless you follow through with the threesome so carefully weigh all the potential repercussions before you commit. You know your husband well enough to know if this would be detrimental to your marriage. The choice is yours, sis. The choice is yours and good luck to you!

What are your thoughts, Bossip fam? Please share them below!

Have a wonderful weekend and please remember to e-mail all topic suggestions, feedback and questions to loveandrelationships@bossip.com!

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