Pure Comedy: Gas Man

- By Bossip Staff

Posted by Bossip Staff

Gas man let them fly when he went to the clink…please read the whole story:

Meet Jose Cruz. In the long history of American jurisprudence, the West Virginia man may be the first defendant to ever be charged with passing gas in the face of a law enforcement officer. Cruz, 34, was driving with his car’s headlights off Monday night when he was pulled over by West Charleston cops, who noted that Cruz appeared to be intoxicated. After failing a series of field sobriety tests, Cruz was arrested and transported to police headquarters, where he allegedly committed another offense, according to a September 23 criminal complaint. While being fingerprinted, Cruz allegedly “lifted his leg and passed gas loudly on Ptlm. Parsons. The defendant then fanned the air with his hand in front of his rear onto” the cop. “The gas,” the complaint notes, “was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Ptlm. Parsons.” In addition to the DUI count, Cruz was also charged with battery on a police officer for the farting incident. In a TSG interview, Cruz said that while he “farted multiple times,” it “wasn’t directly in [the cop’s] face.” Asked if he fanned the fetid air toward the officer, Cruz admitted that he did, but said it was in retaliation for the cop insisting he take a breath test while he was having an asthma attack. “I said, ‘Here, put that in your Breathalyzer,”

A traffic ticket = $200.

Lawyer fees and DUI classes = $1000 (depending on the state in which the crime occurred)

Farting on one-time = Straight f*cking priceless!

Now that’s what you call ASSault!!!

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Comments

  • http://www.gravatar.com (Re) My blood pressure is 200

    The best part is that he was charged with battery to an officer by farting on him.

    Good for him.

  • http://www.gravatar.com My blood pressure is 200

    The best part is that he was charged with battery to an officer by farting on him.

    Good for him.

  • Its the Foosa

    lol… Now thats funny

  • Asha

    Yo, I was straight dead when I read this. OMG….LMBO!!!!! Man, West VA is the boon docks, I’m not surprised…they don’t have shyt else to do.

  • http://www.gravatar.com My blood pressure is 200

    It must’ve smelled like straight diarrhea, to be charging someone for battery to an officer.

  • http://www.gravatar.com My blood pressure is 200

    But what if dude had to fart really bad? Why should he hold it for Mr. Officer?

    Maybe he had taqito’s…or beans…those give me the bg’s….

  • http://www.gravatar.com My blood pressure is 200

    Holding your fart can make you sick. I want to be his lawyer…I can represent the medical side of this case.

  • Kim

    lol

  • BLUNTBLAZER

    HAHAHA LOL OH BOY WHAT THE FEEEZY

    I WOULD FIGHT THAT IN COURT HAHA

    http://www.myspace.com/thagrindaholic

    “LIFE’S A BIOTCH… AND THEN YOU DIE”

  • WhatsYoursIsMine-Needs to Shake Things Up a Little

    I shouldn’t laugh at this, but HA!

  • http://chechmeout Film Student

    I guess this is hilarious.

    On another note

    In Charlotte, several gas pumps are empty. I’ve been watching the local news, and the anchors have been saying that the gasoline is coming. As a matter of fact, they’ve been saying this for days now.

    I really hope John McCain will stop bluffing, and debate tonight. America needs to hear how he and Obama plans to restore this crisis.

  • So tired of the bull

    Bwahhahahahah this story is priceless!!! OMG tooo hilarious I swear!!!!

  • iluvprada

    DEAD!

  • HERZI

    LOL, JOKES.

    Man oh man. Police these days.

  • i am domincian trash, i sukky peni for $1.00 and live off freeway...can u help me with a pesos?

    hahahahahahahahahaha, what a guala will do hahahahahahhahahahahhah………..

  • west side ctown

    Now thats what I call a driveby shooting!!

  • Just Sit and Be Pretty

    Funny…

  • always knew

    where is domnican garbage, when you need her…This is really funny, your daddy getting arrested like that for farting on somebody…Hey Dominican Trash- you still living off the freeway ramp selling those bj’s and oranges? How are you gonna bail your Daddy out? With Food Stamps and EBT card? HAhahahahahahaha, well you’ll have to work more hours, on your knees, at the ‘bank’, you work at….ahahahahahahaha..ask for hot sauce with those tamales, you selling in the parking lot….don’t forget your beans and your pesos!! When you need a job, look me up!”• Empleado muestra-en/registros del tiempo de la muestra-hacia fuera, asegurando las horas se firman adentro para correcto. Debe mostrar la fecha, la hora que entra y sale y la razón específica de estar en cada localización. Todas las tareas del piso deben estar terminadas en a día asignado.

    • Asegurándose de que todas las políticas, reglas y las regulaciones la compañía y de la Ciudad de Phoenix, se adhieren terminantemente.

    • Se le responsabiliza a no llegar tarde al trabajo, en algunos casos, se requiere cubrir horas de otros empleados.

    • Reportarse con los oficiales de la conformidad cuando sea notificado. El cerciorarse de que las hojas de MSDS estén en el sitio, botellas etiquetadas correctamente, productos químicos etiquetados al OSHA conformidad de la pauta, cerciorarse de traer el uniforme correcto.

    • Vuelva a surtir los edificios con material y guarde la lista de materiales que se necesitan.

    • Resolución practica con respecto a conflicto del cliente. Se requiere la notificación inmediata, y reportar todo tipo de problemas o preguntas a sus supervisores.

    • Todo el papeleo y llaves del edificio deben ser regresados al encargado de cada edificio a la hora de su salida. (A menos que se le indique de otra manera.)

    • Todas las listas del equipo deben ser revisadas, la condición del equipo, etc.

    • El conserje puede ser necesitado para cubrir las horas de cualquier otro empleado que por cualquier razón no asista a trabajar. También se le puede requerir en algunas ocasiones darle mantenimiento a los pisos; pelar, encerar, pulir y extraer manchas del suelo alfombrado/no-alfombrado. ”

    …That’s what you can do for me babe!

    ___________________________________________

    That’s all you and your hole family will ever be worth! You heard?! Working on the street or in my buildings on those knees scrubbing those floors and toilets, and when you’re done, I will not be paying you in dollars, try pesos, you frickin garbage…..Coyne maman, get maman! M’La, bitc-!

    Your MASTER,

    always knew

  • always knew

    that was whole family, got to have the correct spelling and pronunciation…

  • Superwoman (the average persons left hand dose 56% of the typing)

    Lol that was funny!

  • Encyclopedia Brown

    HAHAHAHAHHhahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHhahahahahHAHAH

    a hee

  • ***

    Funny. Hey, somebody mentioned the gas crisis in Charlotte. I live in Charlotte and people are getting a little crazy. We had one guy pull out a gun because somebody jumped him in the line. It’s crazy!

  • DieVerse

    This dude is CRAZY!!! but damn that’s priceless..soon as he got realesed he must have gon to his peepz to brag about that ish…HAHAHAHAHHAA

    “some punk ass cop pulled me over and I farted on that nucca” HAHAHAHHAHAHA

  • Mariposa Negra

    Always Knew: Damn! Why so hard?

    You know the brothers will take care of them, marry them and put them on pedestals. Excuse me, SOME brothers.

  • Crazy Ass Rodney

    I’ll show you peoplE CRAZY

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