Solving The Unwed Mothers “Problem”: Should We Stop Glorifying Hip-Hop Culture, Shut Down Welfare, Choose Better Partners Or Give Up Sex Entirely?

- By Bossip Staff

Yesterday’s “For Discussion” story on the recent news that 72% of black children are born to unwed mothers sparked quite the debate in the comments section, so we are returning to the topic again today — this time looking for solutions.

Click Here To Read The Article If You Missed It Yesterday

Within the Bossip offices the story was received with more than a little skepticism — we all know plenty of children born to unwed mothers of ALL races — not just black. We also know plenty of MARRIED black women whose husbands or ex-husbands offer less support and involvement than friends who chose their baby daddies well, but just did not want to marry them.

Here are some of the solutions offered by our Bossip Readers:

Black adult women need to start training their daughters and young black girls in there sphere of influence “THAT BIRTH CONTROL IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY AND NO ONE ELSE’S”.

Women need to stop having unprotected sex, with men, before they know that this man is the type of man, who is not ging t allow his child go without a father. Also women need to realize that giving it up to a man to keep him is not going to work, because if you give it up, without birth control or protection, you WILL KEEP HIM, until you invite a bun in the oven. There does need to be some analyzing alright, but not by SOCIETY, it needs to be done by women, before they spread their legs to men without some type of protection.

Aim higher! Stop fawking with these no good thugs, they shouldn’t dictate your future- you control your destiny.

Once you 25 and have 5 to 6 kids come on someone should step in at number 2 and sterilize like they do animals, thats how bad it is out here

Black Men have to do better and Black Women have to choose better.

I think the problem would be solved if women would stop sleeping with guys outside of marriage. There’s a solution right there. This would also help the issues with black men not wanting to get married.

we as Americans need to step up and stop taking care of these people who keep having kids and can’t take care of them. If you can have a kid and tax payers support your kids while you lay with your legs up, then why not.
There are no consequences to actions anymore. STOP BAILING PEOPLE OUT AND HOLD PEOPLE RESPONSIBLE. You want to have a baby then good~ take care of them with your own damn money, without your section 8 housing, medicaid, welfare, food stamps~ and then these women got the nerve to talk about they independent.

1. Women need to stop sleeping with men who they KNOW cannot provide financially for them if they were to have a child. Aim higher or keep your legs closed
2. Women need to stop sleeping with the kind of men who they KNOW will not man up to their fatherly responsibilities. Again I say aim higher
3. Use CONTRACEPTION if you do not want to get pregnant (same goes for men)
4. Men need to accept their fatherly responsibilities when they get a girl pregnant
5. Men need to stop sleeping with hoodrat chicks who are more than likely having unprotected sex with other guys making it harder for you to know if the child is really yours without a paternity test. Aim higher or wrap it up

1.Accountability and self love/respect 2.We need to start promoting positive black images and strong family archetypes more “Cosby show” and less For the love of ray jay 2.Tell Opera, Tyler Perry and other closet basket cases to miss us with the melladrama and end their crusade on the black male encourage them to refocus their energies on positive portrayals of black the family 4. Black people need to start creating and owning their own businesses in order to provide opportunity and gainful employment 5.promote values

There were a lot of good suggestions made — promoting abstinence, more education about the consequences of single motherhood, making better choices about our sexual partners and providing better role models/positive models in entertainment and the community overall seem seem like the very basics in building a solution.

How do we start to take these steps in the right direction? What are you doing personally toward making a difference. Also, is it more important to MARRY before giving birth or is too much emphasis being put on marriage. Can black women and black men successfully co-parent without walking down the aisle?

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Comments

  • that damn sh#$ disturber

    “THAT BIRTH CONTROL IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY AND NO ONE ELSE’S”
    that summed it up right there. i think if people were more responsible then you might see a difference in your relationships. then again knowing these fools maybe not…

  • nana

    Here we go……

  • http://www.showmestate.com 5'10" AKILLAH RICHARDS (A SPADE IS A SPADE)

    IF THEY’RE NOT COMPLAINING, WHY ARE “WE”. MAYBE “WE” SHOULD FOCUS ON OUR OWN PROBLEMS.

  • kim

    black men need to be held to a higher standard first. Second, young women who can’t even take care of themselves, need to close their legs because they’re not doing anything but building up the prisons and the graveyards with their trifling chirrin’.

    • LaDiva

      And young men who can’t take care of themselves need to keep their little friend zipped up b/c they are not doing anything but ‘building up the prisons and the graveyards with their trifling chirrin’ too. If u were man enough to stick it in then be man enough to deal with the consequence of your action(s) too. Women are no more responsible than men.. It takes 2 to procreate with.

    • DollBaby1o1

      LMAO

  • jy

    cut all section8

    • renae

      Bingo. Just cut the benefits and make them go to work. that should do it. If that doesn’t stop it, sterilize the woman after one kid out of wedlock.

  • if anything be noble

    People have no idea what they’re playing with when they play with sex. NO IDEA. You would WISH you could get an STD or get pregnant compared to the destruction taking place in your life when you’re linked soul to soul to a person and everyone they had intercourse with and everyone they had intercourse with and so on and so on and so on. What a self-destructive mess. You’re just seeing in the natural realm the mess that’s happening supernaturally when you see 72% out of wedlock birth rates, abandoned families and disease. Our souls, on the other hand, are torn to shreds. Time to stop this mess. You are hurting yourself in ways you don’t know.

    • Pooperscooper

      Preach! Wow you have expressed what I’ve been trying to tell people. That’s why I’m a 19 year old virgin.

  • H formerly known as...

    DATING SOMEONE FROM A DIFFERENT RACE IS THE KEY. THAT’S WHY INTERRACIAL RELATIONSHIPS ALWAYS LAST.

    • @safirahcee

      ??????

  • Istillcantsleep.....propofolplease

    No buying white peoples kids is the best way to go

  • http://www.showmestate.com 5'10" AKILLAH RICHARDS (A SPADE IS A SPADE)

    ‘D BET THE FARM YOU HAVE AT LEAST ONE BASTARD RUNNING AROUND HERE.

  • ikeepit100!

    Oops….Albinism

  • http://www.showmestate.com 5'10" AKILLAH RICHARDS (A SPADE IS A SPADE)

    MY COUSIN HAD 5 KIDS AND FOUND A GOOD WORKING MAN AND NEITHER OF THE KIDS WERE HIS. MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! SNOT NOSED PUNKS DONT EVEN RAISE THEIR OWN KIDS, BUT YOU’RE WORRIED ABOUT SOME SINGLE MOTHER’S. SMH

    • I Am Legend (Allergic To Darkies)

      Shes a W.H.O.R.E

    • http://www.showmestate.com 5'10" AKILLAH RICHARDS (A SPADE IS A SPADE)

      her kids were all by her husband, the only man Ive ever known her to sleep with. go douche either your stretched out cooch or stretched out azz with a fire hose, LOSER

    • Istillcantsleep.....propofolplease

      That is a lot of little nigglets to have not gotten married….I know they didn’t believe in marriage. Is he spending money on them more than time

    • http://www.showmestate.com 5'10" AKILLAH RICHARDS (A SPADE IS A SPADE)

      SHE WAS MARRIED AND ENDED UP DIVORCED, LIKE MOST MARRIED MOTHERS. WHICH IS MY POINT, WHAT DIFFERENCE DID HER PREVIOUSLY BEING MARRIED MAKE? NONE. THIS TOPIC IS DEAD. RAISE YOUR OWN KIDS AND MIND YOUR BUSINESS.

    • I Am Legend (Allergic To Darkies)

      She went from being 100% sure he the daddy to being 1000% to 2000% now she just like DAMN Maury I dont even know

  • rottnkid

    Is your mama Shameka?

  • resurrected

    Stop giving other people that much power in your life. Life is a personal responsibility and a gift. Stop keeping bad company and always educated yourself above the media. If you see that your parents lack there own personal level of knowledge grow beyond there level of education. Love yourself better before you choose to bring life into the world. Understand that not everyone deserves your body, time or heart. If you are the smartest person in your click of friends then you need a better circle that can also compliment your struggles as well no relationship should be one sided in life.

  • resurrected

    you mean like your momma?

  • samech

    @H formerly known as…

    Well, until I find the right man….

    • H formerly known as...

      WELL, MAYBE YOU ARE JUST LOOKING IN ALL OF THE WRONG PLACES…

    • Istillcantsleep.....propofolplease

      No H she recognized that the men who were getting at her wasn’t there for a serious relationship just lust….So to cut out that problem she cut out the sex.

      We men see pretty face butt or breast and we go from there brains is the last thing we look for….More power to you

  • Istillcantsleep.....propofolplease

    resurrected you sound smart hope you have taken your own advice.Life is a gift and we all must recognize the importance of that gift and make better choices in sexual partners and in our own personal lives.

    • resurrected

      Thanks, I am trying my best but often feel like the odd balls of the last of my breed. I look to God for my confident because man is very destructive and it gets weary in this world.

  • I Am Legend (Allergic To Darkies)

    Desireable black women LMAO dont make me throw up…

  • Baldeagle

    Women have been having babies out of wedlock since the beginining of time and will continue too. Contraire
    to popular belielf most men do wrap it up at least I do. I sleep with multiple women and they insist on me not wearing a condom sometimes, but I don’t do it b/c I know they are just trying to trap me with a kid. This female even went to the extent of trying 2 put a hole in the condom, that did it for me. Now I make sure I look at it closely, or put it on myself.

    • CAN AM

      Wow! Stay away from her.

  • jayluv

    MAKE SURE THE PERSON YOU MEET ISN’T LIVING HIS OR HER LIFE BY THE 7 DEADLY SINS.

  • phyre

    Omg. The comments are so ridiculous. There are all types of men who don’t take care of their children. Not just black. People need to start seeing past color. Its too late in the game.

  • samech

    @H formerly known as…

    I’m not looking at all…..but if I was, were should I be looking. i’m not in college anymore, that would have been a great place. I don’t go to church anymore, so forget that. I have a better chance walking down the street….In either case, I’m done!

    • H formerly known as...

      HAVE YOU TRIED, EHARMONY.COM?

  • Mr. Cool

    Most couples start planning after the female finds out she is pregnant.

    My recommendation is for the couple to create a joint plan before having unprotected sex. Also, women and men should BOTH use protection until they are truly ready for kids. More government help with how to plan for a child and less government financial help because the family needs to provide more support to prevent unplanned pregnancies.

  • Bethany "ACID FACE" Storro

    I believe that BW are only responsible for about 55% or less of that number and of that 55% about 40% come from women who were either divorced, separated or in a relationship but not married. I believe that only about 15% are from women who are truly single.

    • Bethany "ACID FACE" Storro

      Like I said before you white, Latina and Asian women need to come get your kids!!!

    • Keep it Real

      You’re in a state of denial. Do you understand what unwed at birth means?

    • Bethany "ACID FACE" Storro

      Unless your mother is black, you are living proof of what I’m talking about b/c you have admitted that you are only half black.

  • shut the fu*ck up

    get rid of welfare only in the case that you lose ur job no more 6 kids on welfare and then their 15 year old has 2 and is looking and on the waiting list for her sec 8 sick of that no more taxes on my income for that sh*it its all mine now

  • Isis

    Love it Bruh Peach….

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