For Discussion: If The Love Is Gone, Should You Leave The Marriage Or Wait For Love To Return

- By Bossip Staff

Last night’s episode of VH1’s “Basketball Wives” featured a very uncomfortable, albeit way overdue conversation between the show’s one original married couple: Eric and Jennifer Williams. And it raised a few questions.

Primarily we wondered why Jennifer was holding on so tightly to a loveless marriage, one in which she can’t even get in touch with her husband from one day to the next. Like Eric, we wanted to know why drama queen Jenn wouldn’t just walk away from a situation that clearly makes her so unhappy.

Then, tapping into a rare moment of depth, Jenn said something profound: married couples fall in and out of love all the time. What makes the marriage last is the couple’s dedication to making it work.

So we ask you, if the love is gone, do you tough it out until it’s back? Or is the absence of love the greatest reason to walk away from your marriage?

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Comments

  • I Am Legend (Allergic To Darkies)

    Till death do us part …END OF STORY

    • Greeneyez

      Why stay in a relationship that makes u miserable…. I can do bad all by myself… Forget that death do u part crap!!!

    • jayluv

      LOOK! A RELATIONSHIP IS A SEED YOU PLANT AND NURTURE TO GROW. IF YOU NEGLECT IT, YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS, SO YOU HAVE TO GO BACK AND TAKE CARE OF THE PROBLEM THAT YOU CAUSED, SO THE PLANT CAN BE REVIVED. ‘TILL DEATH DO US PART.

      NOW, IF THERE IS JUST COMPLETE HATE AND TOTAL DISRESPECT, WHICH WITH ERIC AND JEN, THERE IS SO MUCH LOVE, BUT A LOT OF CONFUSION GOING ON THERE. ERIC KNOWS HE HAS A GOOD WOMAN IN JEN AND NEITHER ONE OF THEM WANTS TO SEEM VULNERABLE TO THE OTHER. THEY NEED TO STOP IT AND JUST BAWL ALL THEM PAIN OF MISUNDERSTANDING OUT TO EACH OTHER. UMM…JEN AIN’T TRYING TO LEAVE WHAT MONEY SHE GETTING. WHY ISN’T ANYONE TELLING ERIC TO LOOK AT THAT CANCER LUMP ON HIS FOREHEAD?

    • jayluv

      SO IF THERE IS HATE AND DISRESPECT, THEN LEAVE. NO ONE LIKES TO BE MISUSED AND ABUSED.

    • Bvlgari

      Agree@IAMLegend. Why get married if you can’t work it out. Only the weak run from their marriage because of pettiness; unless there is abuse, hiding money or cheating in your marriage by all means run like hell.

    • MsLabelsofLust

      oh snap i made that previous comment on the wrong post…Who cares about Jennifer dumb broad acts like she don’t know what food stamps is..now she gonna know cause that’s where she is headed lmao..karma is bish believe that!

    • Lynn

      Amen!

    • SJU

      “Till death do us part …END OF STORY”

      AMEN!

      The bottom line is – what is your definition of marriage. If it is something that you only support when things are ‘good,’ you need to redefine your understanding of marriage.

    • sgffg

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      Happy New year !! It’s time to change your lonely life now !!

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    • WTF

      man i just dont know. marriage is for better or worse….if people get married thinking that theyll just divorce when things go south…wats the point? nothing good lasts forever. but other than that jennifer knows damn well she has nothing going on for herself and she relies on this man for support. ladies let this be a lesson. MAKE SURE U GOT UR OWN ISH b4 u go marry somebody. BTW this man is surely despicable in nature for how ugly he is. ugly on the outside ugly on the inside. smh….money

  • free

    i believe this is true but, uh, did you see how fast he asked her if she was getting an attorney, lol? homeboy is ready to bounce.

    • jayluv

      THAT WAS CAMERA TALK…DID YOU NOTICED HOW HE GOT UP AND GOT SOMETHING TO DRINK AND THEN SAID THAT FOOLISHNESS? THAT IS NOT WHAT HE WANTS. HE WANTS HER TO LEAVE THEM CHICKEN HEADS SHE HANGING WITH AND TALK TO HIM ABOUT WHAT IS BOTHERING HER, NOT THEM AND THE WHOLE WORLD.

    • SJU

      All of it’s camera talk. Jennifer doesn’t want to get divorced. She wants her marriage to work. What she needs to do is hang around some women who can encourage her and affirm her instead of the miserable broads she with now.

  • kary

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    Happy New Year to Everyone! 😀 😀
    Is it a bird? Is it a plain? No! Its supergheto!

  • big c

    You should find out what made you get to that point . Work through it but if the other person is cheating just move on let god deal with it.

  • god's grace

    How come every time i see this nicca he always looks like somebody just knocked his azz with a bag of quarters??
    Answer: any other time i would advise to stick it out, because i do believe as Jennifer said”people do fall in and out of love in a marriage”

  • 7lady

    Yeah FREE I saw that…he said it so quick. And did you peep the comment about he was out “doin what men do”. She need to let Mr. Uglay mon go! Plain n simple…he do not want her no more. He got a baby here in cleveland on her. Beautiful baby boy surprisingly. Smh

    • jayluv

      WE ALL KNOW HOW CHILDISH MEN ACT WHEN IT SOUNDS LIKE THEY’RE ABOUT TO BE KICKED TO THE CURB. IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN SOMETHING SIMPLE THAT JEN ALREADY KNOWS HE DOES. COULD BE BUSINESS. BUT A MAN WILL ALWAYS TRY TO MAKE IT SEEMS LIKE HE DUMPED YOUR @ZZ EVEN IF THAT IS NOT WHAT HE WANTS. BUT HE DOES IT FOR BRAGGING RIGHTS IN HOPES THAT YOU TAKE HIM BACK AND IF YOU DON’T THEN HE MESSED UP.

    • Pookie

      Yes!! I agree. He was so disrespectful on the show. Last season too. He talked to her like she was a jump-off instead of his wife. She should be happy she left his ol ugly azz. smh.

  • Jasmine

    Jennifer is to pretty for him.. He is one ugly mutha###@!

    • Trublu

      I 2nd that emotion!

    • JaZzIe91

      I know right!!! Dude is extremely hideous!! The ugliest person I’ve had ever seen in my life and that’s saying a lot. He is hella hit in the face literally and figuratively. It has to be for the money because I can’t see any chick in the world wanting to be with him for love!! SMFH

    • tucka

      yeah he is an ugly mf,if he didnt have money she wouldnt want him so karma is a mf.

  • god's grace

    However, if your man is as arrogant and narcissistic as Eric is…I say run b!tch! RUN FAST! But Jenn’s no dummy, she knows what side her bread is buttered on…

    • Trublu

      Not only that, but the longer she can stay legally married the better it is for her as it determines the amount of alimony He will have to pay.

  • get em paid!

    To the left!

  • iM jUS sAYING

    It starts with who and why you get married in the first place. Ive been told love isnt enough anymore but if love isnt everything then youre already on a path to destruction. I will always believe you stay to make your marriage work unless the other party is determined to end it then whats left for you to do ….Fight for your marriage. LIke I Am Legend said ” Til Death Due Us Part”

  • MotherFather

    Work it out if its a love that made you happy at one point a love that made you smile. Remember how things were before you got married and what attracted you to that person and find it because its hard to find another love that can measure up to what you had and can still have.

  • HeCanWorkItOut

    They are not happy in their relationship at all. She on the other hand does not want to end her marriage and I can understand that. He on the other hand do not want the marriage to continue. Neither one of them want to make the first call. If you want to stay married because of the old cliche’ “til death due us part” go for it. But living a life in miseary not trusting no decent communication verbally and intimate at all. On the last note: Trust God and Stay prayerful you will soon get your answer.

  • BE

    I doubt they were ever in love. It sounds like lust to me. Most people “fall” out of love because there wasn’t any to begin with.

    I think if people started to see breakups/divorce as a failure and not just a part of life; they would take relationships and marriage more seriously. People revel in their failures all of the time and they don’t see it. Eric is an athlete. He strives to win and not fail. He should apply that mentality to every aspect of his life.

  • Orlando

    It seems like it’s beyond repair, the man is at the point where he really doesn’t give an F%$^! And he’s not giving her a lot of faith that he’s not going to cheat again with his indifferent attitude about it. “I’m going to do what I do”

  • humblybeholdingHIZgrace

    I would strongly advise for ANY woman or man to cut your losses and move forward. It’s obvious that this man loves her but doesn’t LIKE her and once that’s gone it’s a done deal(to me).

    I feel Jenn’s pain but that has happen to quite a bit of women who have cheating spouses…and when they don’t like you there’s not much you can do.

    What kind of relationship can one have if it’s based upon your appeasing their infidelities just to stay in a relationsip/marriage.

  • Can't believe the title :( SMDH

    I just can not believe that she will not face up to the fact that Eric dsn’t really care about the marriage or her. She can’t get him to answer his phone and she dsn’t know when he is coming home~ SAD.

    That plastic surgery chick was right when she said “ur husband dsn’t give a Blank about u.”

  • Uguess

    Thing that gets me is they have only been married for three years. I think she wants money. He seems decent and so does she but we all make mistakes. Something is telling me he is playing house with another woman I bet he even has a child or two. Life goes on. Sad situation but I don’t respect her for putting her business on reality tv.

    • Trisha

      Yes it’s already been put out there about the son he has that lives in Cleveland. There is the proff right there that he doesn’t care and I bet if she brings it up he will not deny it b cuz he doesn’t care and someone else gave him a seed and she didn’t.

  • rene

    Feelings are Lust, Love is sacrifice. I saw Eveland wanted to make it work.

  • http://childrenofthenow.wordpress.com childrenofthenow

    Sad to say he is over her Permanently. On to the next.

    • swaggert

      I agree. He is like whatever. On to the next… but look @ him anyway….She should be like on to the next.

  • http://bossip nelson

    Jenifer I got two words for you ! By the end of this season I hope and pray your divorce is final ! The only way you will get your man back if he is worth it, is if you leave him with a divorce. Hell he then already left yo a.s.s. for real, so you can’t even leave to see if that would work. Divorce honey, he is not worth it, and he has did and said every thing but he is ready for a divorce, and he has basically said that. Don’t play yourself !

    • ten

      I know dat she dont deserve 2 b treated a certain way especially after him sayin those vowels but she a money hungry lazy woman. she dont wanna lev dat money. n dat shows how silly she is. my sanity, heart, feelin etc… is way more than money. she need 2 wake up n smell da coffee. real talk. i cant stand none of dem. dey got all dis money n actin a fool on tv. its bad when black women act dat way smh

    • http://bossip nelson

      I think she really likes his ugly a.s.s. Hell he told her she can have the house. She is his wife not his jumpoff. So she should be entitled to something anyway. Divorce is a gold diggers dream ! You get the money and any other dck you want ! If she signed a prenump she is still good if she is a bish like me. I will demand money ! Ne-Gro you gon give me something one way or the other. The apartment ( on the beach)and two cars, the dog and a new baller is enough ! She like that ugly mfer ! And she is going to make hm loose it to the point he gon tell her as.s flat out ” I don’t want you, I been gone, take a hint “

  • Annette

    I think Eric is a very arrogant man. He probably loves her as best he can. He loves himself. She on the other hand would stay and work it out, but it would be fruitless to try and work something out with someone who is so indifferent. He wouldn’t know love if he saw it. I hope she gets a good settlement…

  • pisces

    Bingo!

  • Glok..Woke up this morning screaming,...Fuk Da World !!!

    ERIC JUST AINT INTO IT OR HER ANYMORE,..BECKY DONE GOT A HOLD OF THIS NI.GGR NOW AND HE FEEL HE ON TOP OF HIS GAME ,..I MEAN GIVING HER MONEY IZ NOTHING TO HIM…ANYWAY SHE HAS BEEN LOOKING RATHER TRANNY LATELY…PLUS WHAT MARRIED BYTCH GOT TIME TO BE UP IN ALL HER GAL PAL BIZNESS..HANGING OUT IN VEGAS WITH HER HO FRIEND ..DOING WHO KNOWS WHAT…GOOD MOVE …MOVE ON!

    • http://www.facebook.com/tcoleycole tina

      she got time to b doin all those things cuz papa aint home and he don’t wanna come home! she goes to sleep with her lil dog for crying out loud!!
      but ur right tho, becky definitely got a hold of this knuckle mouth bastard!
      i dunno what it is about black men who do that mess, but they need to move to mississippi for a while!!

    • Glok..Woke up this morning screaming,...Fuk Da World !!!

      TINA …TELL IT!

  • Glok..Woke up this morning screaming,...Fuk Da World !!!

    ANOTHER THING THIS THE MOST EXPOSURE THIS NI.GGR GOT OUTTA ALL THEM YRz HE BEEN IN THE NBA…HE FEELING HIMSELF NOW…JENNY NEEDS SOME MORE WEIGHT!

  • Melissa Lee

    It takes 2 to make it work. He is clearly ready to leave. You can’t make anyone love you. He doesn’t seem to even respect her.

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