Apparently, Honey Buns has outpaced Newports as the number one item of trade in the slammer.
A new study released by the St. Petersburg Times in Florida says a sweet sticky treat has become the currency of choice for inmates in the Florida penal system. “According to the St. Petersburg Times, Honey buns sell better than “tobacco, envelopes and cans of Coke” across Florida prisons, where 270,000 of the gross little things get sold every month.
Mrs. Freshley’s Grand Honey Buns appear to be the brand of choice when inmates want to get haircuts, drugs, or even barter for muscle to protect their own ‘honey buns’ while doing their bid. Apparently, inmates trade the tasty treats and have come up with some inventive ways to use the prison pastry.
* Inmates in North Carolina used honey buns to “sweeten a wine they fermented from orange juice.”
* An unemployed father who was saved from the electric chair by public defenders paid his lawyers in honey buns. (The lawyer says: “They were good, too.”)
* In at least two cases, inmates have reportedly been murdered over honey buns.
* A Florida bail bondsman was purportedly paying an inmate in honey buns for business referrals.
* “At the Stock Island Detention Center, outside Key West, scheming inmates offered overnight arrestees in the jail’s drunk tank an irresistible deal: their Social Security numbers for a honey bun. Using the numbers, they filled out tax forms with phony information a scam that cost the IRS more than $1 million in fraudulent refunds.”
How sweetly ironic. Some of the nations most hardened criminals are gnoshing on honey buns over fermented wine. Pinkys up ladies.