Good day, Bossip Fam! Here’s to another ‘Almost There Thursday!’ One of our readers, who would like to remain anonymous, sent an e-mail about his current relationship. He described a few incidents that have taken place in the last few months that have him questioning whether he wants to continue the relationship. In short, he discovered his girlfriend of four years cheated on him, swore she would never do it again and asked him to forgiver her and stay with her. After some time, he decided to work on their relationship but is having trouble trusting her for obvious reasons, but more so than that, he feels that the love he’s lost will never be the same.
Now, as hard as it may be, many couples have been faced with the same issue and have found a way to rebuild their relationship or marriage after infidelity. But, as you can imagine, it’s a process to regain one’s trust once it’s been violated on such an intimate level. Leaving the person who’s been cheated upon wondering: what did I do? What’s he/she have that I don’t? Was he/she better than me in the bedroom? And the list continues. No one can really articulate the pain and betrayal that stems from cheating but it cuts deep. While some people have found ways to get over such hurt, the question remains: does the love die forever or can it grow stronger?
We asked a few of our readers and here’s what they had to say!
I think that cheating is the ultimate betrayal. I don’t want any man messing around with my lady. If my woman is silly enough to do something like that, then she better not ever let me find out. I would never be able to touch her again. I feel like this, if she was thinking about it and wanting to step out and do her own thing then she had ample time to come and talk to me about where she was feeling like she lacked in our relationship, you know what I mean? There’s no need to cheat if you have the option to leave so why the drama? That’s just how I see it. – Guy, 31
I’ve actually tried to forgive a man for cheating on me and it never worked out after that. Every time he went somewhere – to work, to the gym, to his mama’s house – I was paranoid. After that I always felt like he was up to no good. I couldn’t trust him anymore and once the trust is gone, what do you have? You can’t love someone you don’t trust and as much as I thought I loved him, whenever I felt like he was creeping I hated him and I often contemplated vengeful cheating but what would that prove? It just wasn’t salvageable at that point so it was best to end things. – Marie, 29
Hell no! If my wife is cheating, I’m out, no ifs, and or buts. I can’t even visualize my wife getting sexed by another man. I would never recover. I’ll take care of the kids but she would be served with some papers. That is so disrespectful. That’s all I got to say on that. – James, 33
See, I have a different approach to this situation and my friends think I’m crazy. But if I were married and had a husband, as long he’s taking care of home there’s nothing we can’t work through. Men have been cheating since the beginning of time and this is something that happens to men. They have a penis which renders them weak for the p*ssy – especially the new kind. I’m not stupid but as long as the jumpoff don’t get wife treatment, I don’t care. All I know is her better think twice because I’m capable of doing the same, you feel me? I mean, of course it would hurt but we got business to handle – the house, the cars, the kids – and as long as all those things are in line, we can work it out. – Renee, 27
It’s a different kind of love at that point. It’s a deeper love. It takes you places because you’re reevaluating the relationship and you’re weighing out if what’s left of the trust is worthy of the love. And if you should decide to stay, then you know that trust is out of the equation. The deeper question is: do I trust myself enough to love this person despite their actions. This comes after over 30 years of marriage and there were some rough years … years! It get to point were can no longer base your marriage on trust, it’s all love. – Deb, 51
What are your thoughts, Bossip Fam? Please share them below!
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