For Discussion: Are You Still Friends With Your Exes??

- By Bossip Staff

Is it really possible to be “just friends” with someone who shares a romantic past with you? Would you give your man the side-eye if his gooooood friend also happened to be an ex? We asked these lovely New Yorkers about the whole friends/former lovers thing.

Check it out at MadameNoire.com.

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Comments

  • ShortStuff

    It’s possible..to each his/her own…I’ve done it but had to cut him off becuz he thought it was friends with benefits….& no I wouldn’t be comfortable with my guy if his really GOOOOOOOOD friend is an ex…

    • Sally

      NICE NEWS !
      My friend Vanessa, a 25 yrs lady, has announced her wedding with a m’illionaire young man Ronald who is the CEO of a MNC. It’s amazing, she said she just posted her profile on a m’illionaire d’ating s’ite called ———RichMatchmaker. ℃○M——– – and received his chat invitations a few days later. Then, everything went so well that I can’t believe it’s true! Every love story will unfold on it’s own..——-
      If it ended good, I don’t see why not.Although, boundaries need to be placed so that no lines aren’t crossed. If it was a bad break up, get closure and move on without them on your friend list.

  • chocolat

    Nope, once its over its over! I cut folks of permanently and literally forget their names too, especially if it was a disrespectful break up. It’s interesting though, 90% of my exs beg me to be friends and they can’t handle bring cut off for good. You had me you didn’t value me now get loss and keep it moving. You only get one chance for first impression and you blew it. Too many men on the planet to cry over one man. I have a lot of friends as it is, I don’t need to keep a disrespectful person in my circle.

  • (_Jasmine_)

    It depends on a case by case situation. If it ended good, I don’t see why not.Although, boundaries need to be placed so that no lines aren’t crossed. If it was a bad break up, get closure and move on without them on your friend list.

  • Tm30

    If I was is another substantial relationship, no. I would see it as having a lack of respect for my current mate. Now, that doesn’t mean when you see them in the street, you have to duck your head and keep it moving. There just wouldn’t be any texting, phone/house calls or get togethers.

  • Juliemango

    These types of friendships always include sex!!!

    • JustAshley

      No, they don’t “always” involve sex. I speak from experience.

  • Dilla

    Not friends with the ex’s at all. Too many complications!

  • Fan of the Preacher's Son

    I thought not for a long time. My last girlfriend and I can sit and talk for hours on end, as long as we dont blur the lines. Strictly plutonic.

  • http://google ex

    Our relationship began with friendship and got deeper so why place myself at first base again. My ex wanted to remain friendly because no other woman, as he put it, ever made him feel as good in bed. But my motto is if you cut it loose you never never get its again. Besides its for his safety we don’t remain friends because I haven’t recovered our breakup yet and I have a gun lols.

  • GETREAL (NOW)

    Every situation is different.

  • Kelly

    Yes, it is possible to be friends with your exes. I have been friends with one of my exes for 14 years now. He is one of my best friends. I for one believe God brings people in your life for a reason. We didnt make it as a couple but we have managed to be friends, and its great. The complication comes with one of the individual wants more than just friendship. We dont have that problem. I tried being friends with my other exes and not that we havent been able to establish the friendship thing is just that these individual still wanted more….. So it hasnt been as easy with them as it has been with the other one.

  • Mary

    I go from the gf to the relationship advisor. I’m not a good gf at all, I am a great friend though.

  • Liars

    Every person who commented yes with a follow up story is straight up lying. Especially the hoes. You know good and darn well you have bedded them dudes at some point even if he has a new girl. I can’t stand yall lying hoes.

    • Sa.s.sy24

      Lol you ain’t lying

    • G.M.

      THAAAAAAAAANK YOOOOOOOU!!!! LOL XD…who the fucc they think they foolin w/that “yes, we can still be friends” bullsh1t…Chris Rock said it best: “yeah, we can be friends, I wanna be the friend thats fuccin u in the a$$ b1tch!” lol XD

  • Liars

    Another lying slore..

  • 1TruDiva w/the PlatinumVocals!!

    @ Liars–

    Why’d ya put people on blast? Lol!!

    I have to admit, time has allowed me to have a relationship with an “ex” well, not a relationship in that sense. See, what had happened was……and then, we…..well, you know!

    Lol!!!!

  • 1TruDiva w/the PlatinumVocals!!

    Initially (after the break up) it would start off with messages left on my office phone. Then, the “Oh, did I call your cell? I’m sorry! Then the conversations. Then the “do ya wanna hang out? Then the little sly remarks about why we broke up. Then the time that I REALLY needed a police officer and one of his “boys in blue” responded, called him and he came over. Then well, see…what had happened was…….

    Lol!!!

  • 1TruDiva w/the PlatinumVocals!!

    But in the end, if we both realized what caused the break up in the first place, knew that it wasn’t in either of our best interests to remain together, being friends seems to be the right thing. Besides, life is too short to hold grudges. It gives the other person too much power.

    Trust me–being friends with your “ex” can be beneficial. At least in my case.

  • shavondenise

    Yes I believe it is! As adults at the point when you realize that a person was just made to be in your life for a season as a partner but sometimes they can be your lifetime friends. People who have dated know you more than anyone so if both parties are mature and know their boundaries I believe its possible. They’re people whoo hate every single girl/boyfriend they once had and that to me is unnatural and tells you exactly who had the real problem. Everyone doesnt handle breakups and separation good so the ex’s have to be in both the same mental space.

  • CAT EYES

    Absolutely not!!Whats the sense?I figure you two have had enough time to be friends within the relationship when you had one,there’s really nothing to talk about once its done.Besides,no person in your future will appreciate you still being friends with someone you used to be intimate with.Oh,I know lots of women that are paying for those so called friendships with exes.Stop looking backwards,you can’t grow that way.

    • Sa.s.sy24

      100% cosign

  • I Am Legend ( Allergic To Darkies )

    Me and my friend had tthis discussion on facebook… She’s mad cause all my ex’s and I are good friends and we keep in touch on facebook and sometimes thru text and she is so sure feelings will come back between me and the ex’s but I had to tell her look if you don’t trust me to have friends then bounce… she hasn’t brought it up since

  • G.M.

    “have sleep overs and nothing happens”….SUUUUUUUUUUURE!!! LOL XD

  • keebler mf elf

    Not if thet hoe almost got you killed or jailed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Liar

    @1 trudiva
    They ain’t foolin nobody but themselves.
    LOL

  • keisha

    NO .. NOT POSSIBLE

    1) if he broke up, why the hell do i care what he’s up to now

    2) if i broke up, he did something BAD for me to breakup, so why the hell do i care what he’s up to now

    plus, if i’m with a new boo, ALL MY ATTENTION goes to them .. they are my new MALE BEST FRIEND don’t need another .. if we see each other we can speak but to have their number anywhere around .. no

    • derek.d

      Why do you care?

      Umm… cuz he was a dude that at one point you had running all up in your guts??? Probably raw. LMAO.

      I don’t get how people can date people for YEARS… meet family members… have all kind of bodily fluids falling off each other… and then when a romantic relationship doesn’t work, that all goes out the window?

      So there was nothing about dude that you liked as a person??? As a human being?

      Not everybody’s relationships function at a high school level. Sometimes, no matter how much you love the person, that ish don’t work. That doesn’t mean you need to cut the person out of your life forever. Right? Bueller?

    • keisha

      to the simpleton below, no my luv – not every relationship is sexual and some of us christian chics actually can date for months without sexing!

  • purple diamond

    Most of my exes are just that and for a reason. But I one that turned out we made better friends than we did boyfriend and girlfriend. We fought like cats and dogs while we were together but now we are best friends. He gives me advice on relationships and I do the same for him. I think he was always meant to be my friend and not a boyfriend…

  • derek.d

    @G.M. – Why is that so hilarious?

    I’ve slept in the same bed with an ex (this was while she was dating someone new)… and nothing happened. Why? I had respect for dude… I had respect for my ex… and I had respect for their relationship. Plus, I can get a$$ anywhere else.

    It’s not magic… it’s just two adults having boundaries and knowing what they’re about… It sounds suspicious to some people because those people don’t trust themselves. They’re afraid that they’ll cave or that the other person will. When you’re both respectful of what the other person has however, it’s no problems.

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