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I recently received an email from a woman asking for advice on what she should do since catching her boyfriend cheating. She wrote that they are in a serious relationship, that she recently met his family, and that they were discussing marriage. To make a long email short, she wrote that she caught him sending sexually explicit texts to someone he once described as a female “friend.” In the texts her boyfriend also suggested meeting up for sex. Devastated, his girlfriend confronted him and he apologized. She wants to believe him and patch things up, but she also wants me to help her determine whether he’s genuinely sorry for cheating or just sorry he got caught.

I truly empathized with this woman because she is now in a place where she has to make a very serious decision while in a state of great emotional pain that is most likely clouding her better judgment. I’ve been in similar positions myself, and I have counseled other women in similar positions. So here’s my take…

When it comes to a man cheating (or anyone cheating for that matter), I think it is very important to take some time away from the relationship to objectively re-evaluate things. Why? Because you need to think things through with a clear head. And one of the most important things you need to look at is whether he a) confessed on his own or b) was caught cheating.

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