Dear Bossip: I Cheated and I Want Her Back

Good day to you, sir! Thank you for writing in and sharing your story. This is the classic example of the old saying, “you never know what you’ve got until it’s gone.” Now that you’ve realized you made a choice that was unwise and hurtful in nature, you want to fully commit? Well, unfortunately in these cases, the damage has already been done and more often than not, that damage is irreparable. You betrayed her trust and violated the terms of your commitment – with someone she knows, no less – and you’re perplexed as to why she’s not accepting your phone calls? This happens to be on of those situations where you’re reaping what you’ve sown. They world is round and everything comes back around full-circle.

Just so you don’t completely lose hope, sir, there are many couples who find a way to work through infidelity. It’s no easy task and it’s going to take a lot of work to rebuild the trust that has been broken and, literally, begin again. But both parties have to be willing to, first, forgive and move forward. Again, it’s going to take a time – time to sort through the variance of emotions that are undoubtedly going to surface and time to heal. This goes for the both of you, not just her, so she’s going to have to be willing to look past her own hurt and take responsibility for whatever part she may have played in the deterioration of your relationship. That will be one of the hardest things for her to do, especially since you were the one that dealt the deadly blow, admitted to your wrongdoing and assumed the all the blame. So the question is this: can the two of you acknowledge and let go of the past in order to move forward?

Okay, here’s the deal! Instead of pressuring her to talk or blowing up her phone and pleading your case, why don’t you do this … fall back! Fall back and give her space to think things through. Stop forcing the idea of getting back together on her and let her come to her own conclusion! Just say “hey, I know you’re upset and not ready to talk to me but know that I love you enough to allow you the space you need to heal. If and when you’re ready to talk, you know where I am. No pressure.” If she decides to come around, remember, communication is the key to a successful relationship and more than half of solid communication is listening. In the meantime, however, prepare yourself for all outcomes – she may or may not want to entertain your proposition to rekindle your coupledom. Hopefully from this experience, you will grow and apply the lesson the next phase of your life whether it’s with your ex or someone else. Good luck to you, sir! Good luck!

What are your thoughts, Bossip fam? Please share them below!

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