Dear Bossip: Pregnant By A Married Man

Good day to you, sis! Thank you for writing in and sharing your story. So, wow … this is one long, juicy tale of heartache. What should be acknowledged primarily is being a true friend in far from easy and when you’re a friend to someone you’re honest and, unfortunately, a lot of times, the truth hurts. As you’ve stated, you don’t want to be biased in your thoughts and advisory, however, all you can do is give your personal perspective and support whatever she does from there. From what you’ve written, it sounds like you’ve done all you could do make her aware of what she’s really dealing with, even though the truth had been disclosed to her from the man’s mouth!

In all honesty, sis, you said that this woman is beautiful, smart and has her own. So, for someone with so much going for her it seems that she would have enough self worth and accomplishments under her belt to invest her time in a man that’s available. True enough, she was blindsided by the fact that he wasn’t honest with her about his divorce but she made the decision to continue to see him even after he told her the truth – which was he wasn’t divorced! So, fast forward a few months later, she’s pregnant with a married man’s baby and now she wants to know what to do? These are all the repercussions she should’ve evaluated before she decided to continue the relationship and, basically, she dug her own ditch! Should she tell his wife? What for? It will do nothing for her or the baby, should she she decide to carry on with the pregnancy. If she decides to keep the child, that’s his battle he’ll have to fight with his wife and later she’ll have to accept if and when they’re willing to accept the child, first, and her as it’s mother second. Telling the wife to seek vengeance or to try and get coax him into an official relationship will only backfire … these types of situations never yield positive results.

So, sis. Here’s the deal. You’ve given her all the information you have access to and now it’s up to her to make the decision and you should be firm in your approach! You can say, “lady, I love you and you know that but this is your life and quite possibly another life, so there’s really nothing I can or will say to persuade you. The choice is yours and I’ll be here for you and the baby if you decide to go through with this.” This is where being a friend is hard because now all you can offer is her is silence and support in terms of her keeping or aborting the baby. However, the situation between him and his wife is between them and regardless of if she tried to interfere, she has no idea what the terms of their marriage are so chances are it will fail to work in her favor. All you can encourage her to do at this point is stay healthy and love herself enough to make whatever choice she feels is right for her and hold her hand through it. Best of luck to you and her, sis! Best of luck …

What are your thoughts, Bossip Fam? Please share your thoughts below.

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