Yesterday, the great urban poet Waka Flocka Flame made the most sense he has made in his entire career.
He went on to explain how the phony n-words in the industry and the hectic-ness of his life drove him to his decision.
And his mommy backed him up.
Waka’s mom and manager, Debra Antney, tells RumorFix exclusively, “He talking about quitting. He’s sick of this. We all are.”
Debra, who is the Kris Jenner of the rap world, tells us, “We’re all disgusted with this stuff. You can’t trust people.”
She says Waka isn’t touring or recording right now and that they are reestablishing their relationship as mom and son — as opposed to manager and musician.
Far be it for us to try to stand in between Flocka and his happiness. As a matter of fact, we have a couple of suggestions for him on what to try next.
Mentor Gucci Mane
Say what you will about Flocka, but he does a way better job of keeping his life together than his homie Gucci. Maybe if he’s not so concerned with writing hot 16s, he’ll be able to help Gucci make better life choices. And the next time Gucci goes to jail, Flocka can use his free time to counsel OJ Da Juiceman. Because you know that fool is somewhere in Atlanta wondering where it all went wrong.
Go back to school
According to Auntie Deb, Waka Flocka Flame is an avid reader. Maybe, without his street cred to worry about, he’ll decide to go back to college. Maybe he’ll even pursue one of these “highly desired” degrees.
Write the great American novel
Since Flocka already “loves to read” and has lived a life many of us will never see, we can totally see him hopping on his re-painted tour bus with Deb and becoming the hood version of Jack Kerouac
Join PETA full time
He seemed really hyped talking about how much he loved and could relate to the animals. So maybe now that he’s jumping out of the rat race, he can run around freeing lab rats and convincing dopeboys in the trap to treat their pitbulls better.
Become a male model
See previous page. His “Blue Steel” is not to be fawked with.
Plot on how to get Nicki back from Scaff Beezy
In our minds, we’d like to believe that back in the day when Nicki was slumming with these Mizay Entertainment characters, she and Flocka had a fling. We think it’s time for him to get his girl back. Especially since he’ll have time to follow her around and do the robot on stage while she performs now.
Grow his dreads out, move to Jamaica and marry a Marley
If you’re going to speak unintelligible English, you might as well move somewhere where unintelligible English is an actual language. And if you’re going to give up the rap game, you might as well give up all the flossing and jewelry. Which naturally leads to Rastafarianism. Marrying a Marley is just to keep him relevant and keep the door back into the world of music open.
Become Bishop Eddie Long’s Preacher’s Apprentice
Waka Flocka might be the only Southern rapper other than Pastor Troy who we could see leading a congregation. And saving a rapper’s soul would do wonders for Eddie Long-Strokey-Poke’s image. Plus you know Auntie Deb isn’t gonna let any foolishness go down. So, this could work.
Open school for kids who can’t read or rap good, but want to learn
Waka Flocka is for the children. He is an inspiration to the streets. If you don’t believe us, visit an Atlanta radio station online. How many Waka sound alikes do you hear?
Become the next almost irrelevant celebrity to look for love on VH1
You thought Mama Jones and Flav’s mom were entertaining? Imagine a show where Debra gets to pick the “bachelorettes” and school them on how to be the type of lady her baby needs. That would be comedy.