What can a lil flirt hurt right??
If you think flirting will help you get ahead, think again.
We’ve all done it. A seductive smile while negotiating a big purchase. Flirtatious banter with your cubicle neighbor or morning barista. That certain suggestive lilt that enters your voice when asking for help with a project.
Those adept at the subtle art of flirting know that batting their lashes or casting a longing look can be a form of social power, sometimes useful in securing an advantage or ally. Career experts like Nicole Williams, author of “Girl on Top,” advocate using every tool available to you to gain an edge in the workplace. Although it often goes unspoken, many executives agree. “Flirting?” asked one woman. “I call it efficiency.”
How can one tell the difference between two people who relate to one another having a pleasant conversation and two people intimating that they want to bump uglies?
Well psychologist Simon Rego, director of the Cognitive Behavior Therapy Program at Montefiore Medical Center in New York defines it for us:
“Flirting is the suggestion of the possibility, but not the probability, of something sexual occurring between two individuals,” says
But sometimes flirting may have reverse effects that one may not have forseen.
According to Rego, the danger arises from misreading the context and the other person’s perspective. “In a bar, it will be perceived differently than being pulled over for speeding,” he notes. But flirting with a police officer to get out of a ticket is at least worth a try, right? Not necessarily, says Rego. An officer who might have been willing to give you a break before, may be insulted by the obvious manipulation, thinking: You think I’ll bend the rules for a little bit of flirting? Suddenly, they’re more apt to put you in your place.
The workplace is especially ripe for misunderstandings or harsh judgments. David Nour, author of Relationship Economics, says he frequently observes employees flirting to improve their position, be it a salesperson trying to build preference with a buyer or a professional hoping to gain priority on a project or land a promotion.
Yet misreading the flirtee can result in questions about your intentions, credibility and character. At the very least, it could undermine the foundation of trust between you and your supervisor. Even worse, you may end up on the receiving end of unwanted advances, warns Nour. “Flirting at work is simply dangerous and very career limiting.”
What do you think? Have you ever flirted with your boss or supervisor to get special treatment?? Did you ever receive any “hate” from fellow employees??