Put That Thing Away: A List Of Men Whose Loins Got Them In Serious Legal And Financial Trouble

- By Bossip Staff
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Most times when men cheat, the consequences are relatively minimal: his woman leaves him and half of his money is potentially handed to her. But when you’re famous, getting caught with your wee-wee out can cause some major financial troubles and no matter how much money you have, putting it where it’s not wanted will definitely land you in the clink.

Here are some examples of men that have let their lower halves almost ruin their lives.

R. Kelly – Not only did he put his goods where they didn’t belong: he put them there and peed! Kells faced some serious time for filming himself peeing on a 14-year-old girl. ALLEGEDLY. Remember. Allegedly. He was found not guilty but…c’mon.

Kobe Bryant – Kobe was accused of trying to steal the lulu in Colorado. While he was found not guilty, the trial was huge and totally threatened his career and marketability. He still was smashing those hospitality cakes, though.

Mike Tyson – He ended up in jail during the prime of his career thanks to a rape conviction. He still adamantly denies it, but the courts made their decision 20 years ago. At least he was able to somewhat bounce back and stay a household name.

“Pastor” Eddie Long –Eddie Long, seen here trying to make George W. Bush “boy #6,” had to settle for millions of dollars in order to protect his Godly name. $25 million is a hefty sum to pay to keep that holiness.

Tiger Woods – Cheating on your wife is a horrible sin. But cheating on a white woman, though? That’s punishable by losing all endorsements and hundreds of millions of dollars. #Losing.

Arnold Schwarzenegger – Arn fathered some illegitimate babies while he was married and it basically ruined his political and movie careers all in one fell swoop. They’re definitely going to be sending him some paternity papers to deal with in a court of law.

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    Bill Clinton – Put your man parts in the wrong intern’s inbox and look at how the world changes. He got freaking impeached over his need to take care of his horniness. That’s some for real for real trouble.

    Anthony Weiner – He didn’t even get any tail for his troubles. All he did was show someone his nards on a Twitpic and he lost it all. At least most of these other guys actually got some for their transgressions.

    Ben Roethlisberger – Fool me once, shame on you. Possibly sexually assault twice…yeah, that’s still shame on you. Big Ben was apparently trying to quarterback sneak his way into the touchdown despite some tough defenses and it didn’t go well. While neither trial went to court, Ben missed some games and lost a good chunk of money in the process.

    Lawrence Taylor – Nothing wrong with a guy trying to spend a few bucks on a little prostitute? Unfortunately, LT was trying to sack a kid that was more the age of R. Kelly’s last girlfriend. It’s only the latest in the tragic downfall of the once-great football star.

    Tupac – The details on this one are sketchy, but allegedly after getting some dance floor toppy top, Pac took a girl to his hotel room where she alleges that she was gang banged. Pac face some jail time, but came back stronger than ever.

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