Here’s the short version of the debt ceiling situation: we’re all screwed. Everyone is going to be poor in a few short months, which made us think about all the money we’d have if we didn’t waste it on stupid trends.
What trends, you ask? Well, click on to remember and weep.
Grills – Didn’t you hate having braces in middle school? Well idiots went around spending thousands of dollars on glorified braces. Paul Wall made tons of money on these clowns, so good for him. Now how many of you still have your grills? If so…BRUSH THEM TEETH!
Hummer – They were big, ugly and cost 75 trillion dollars to put in half a tank. And when gas prices went up, nobody wanted anything to do with them. Most of these things are sitting in garages because nobody wants to fill them up with gas. All they did was help pitifully endowed men feel like they had more to work with if you know what we mean.
Spinners – Is there any purchase dumber than spinning rims? The wheels already spin! So why do you need the rims to extra spin? To make us all dizzy? And we spent thousands to make it happen? What were we thinking?!
Throwback Jerseys – $300 for jerseys from years ago! Rappers started wearing these jerseys backwards and suddenly they were the craze. So jerseys that used to cost $50 suddenly cost a few hundred and everyone had at least one throwback. We all looked like freaking Harlem Globetrotters in the club.
Kanye’s Shoes – Yeezy released two shoes in 2009 and people went crazy for them. His Air Yeezy’s went for as much as $300 in retail and a couple of thousand on Ebay. Then his fancy Louie’s went for hundreds in retail. You’d have to insure your feet for these damn things!
Cristal – Rappers kept hyping up Cristal and we drank it down whenever we wanted to stunt. Of course, we found out that they didn’t want our Black lips touching their product, so we ditched them. Not before spending millions on the drank.
Tattoos – You know how much tattoos cost? Answer: a whole freaking lot. So you people with full-body tattoos are wearing thousands on your skin. SMH. Is it that serious?
Ridiculous Designer Shoes – Sex And The City gassed ladies up into thinking that two G’s is standard cost of high heels. With the way we’ll be paying taxes and losing money, Payless may be the new designer label.
Gino Green Global Shirts – Raise your hand if you remember these? GGG shirts cost like $90 and all they had were “g’s” that looked like nines that faded into different colors. For $90, that mofo better massage a nipple or something.
Bling – It appears as though, for most sane people out there, trying to look like a life-size disco ball is a thing of the past. But for a long time, super large chains were the symbol of success. How do you show you love Jesus? Spend thousands on a blinged out version of him. Of Course!