This is just pure comedy.
A man doused himself with a bucket of liquid human waste and hid in a portable toilet after plowing his Jeep into a carport at a Longview riverfront condominium Tuesday afternoon, police said.
“It looks like alcohol was involved,” Longview police Sgt. Ed Jones said.
Longview resident Gordon Flavia, 56, was taken to St. John Medical Center for minor injuries following the 1:43 p.m. wreck in the 1300 block of River Road.
Flavia got into his Jeep at his condominium building, threw it into reverse and “floored it at a high rate of speed,” according to Police Sgt. Doug Kazensky. He drove backwards into the carports for the condominiums next door at 1320 River Road, where he knocked down a large support beam for the roof and punched his Jeep through a wall, coming to rest in a bathroom.
No one was home at the time, but neighbors heard the collisions, Kazensky said.
The Jeep and carport were “totaled,” and Flavia fled on foot. Police found him hiding inside a portable toilet in a field north of Waste Control. He was soaking wet, Kazensky said.
“We didn’t know exactly what it was … but it smelled bad,” he said.
Flavia told officers he’d splashed himself with the contents of a bucket outside a portable toilet “because he thought the dogs were coming, and he was trying to throw off the scent,” Kazensky said.
That is so gross! ROFL