Ask a Very Smart Brotha: Booty Calls and Greedy Goldfish

Dear Champ,

Perhaps you can help me with a strange situation I have never found myself in and I’m trying to make sense out of it. I met a guy about a year and half ago. When we first met at a gathering, sparks were flying between the two of us. We were totally smitten by each other the entire time we were there. If there was ever a such thing as a Soul Mate, we were probably close.

However, after awhile, it was obvious that a romantic relationship was out of the question. His secrecy and emotional maturity bothered me and it became more than a notion to try to get him to open up truthfully to me. Even though things didn’t work out between us romantically, we still liked each other on a personal level, and we developed somewhat of a friendship—–over the phone!

For some reason, he is content with this phone friendship. We talk 24/7, day and night, night and day for months and months. But, we have very little face-to-face interaction. Now, he claims that he lives in another state, but I never believed it. I believe he lives in the same state and city as I do. Whenever he claims he’s in town, it’s like pulling teeth to get him to visit me.The few times we have spent together, we had a great time (and electrifying sex). I have invited him to different events but he never comes. He always gives me some excuse about his money being low. (Continue reading…)