Word is, Kris Humphries found out about Kimmy Cakes’ divorce plans via TMZ and was “devastated” like he didn’t see it coming. His plea to make it work out made him look like a doofus and a simp. But he’s not the only one.
There have been plenty of other guys that had to deal with break ups and came out smelling like dandelions…in the bad way. These guys dealt with break-ups and nearly losing their women by making a damn fool of themselves. Let’s go in and hopefully this will make Kris not feel alone in his sorrow.
Kris – Let’s start with Kris himself. Dude was “devastated” by the news even though everyone else in the world knew he was getting kicked to the curb. Now, he doesn’t believe in divorce and wants to work things out? Maybe he can get a cut out of that $17 million wedding money and start believing in it.
Diddy – When J. Lo kicked him to the curb for shooting up the clubs, he started making cotton candy soft songs like “I Need A Girl” and the whole world called him weak for taking it to the music. Good thing he’s with Cassie and got his edge back a little. We were worried there for a bit.
Joe Budden – Okay, we’re going to first give him the benefit of the doubt. But IF the story is true, then him going to Tahiry’s door and proposing after airing her out for all of those years is a punk move. Especially if he got denied like she said he did. Again, IF it’s true, it’s punkish. Now don’t go dropping disses at us, Joe.
Kobe Bryant – Kobe got caught cheating on Vanessa but they stayed together. Still, he got punked out and groveled to keep her. The biggest simp move was getting a damn tattoo honoring her right afterwards. On top of that, he’s been wearing the handcuffs since. Vanessa probably doesn’t even let him go to the bathroom by himself these days.
Kanye West – When he got dumped and his engagement ended, Yeezy’s whole swag got knocked a few pegs down. He then went on to dress in his goofy suit and sing for a whole album. It was an all-time soft moment in his career. Good thing 808s and Heartbreaks was at least dope.
Reggie Bush – Reggie took it hard when he and Kimmy’s relationship fell apart. But no harm no foul. It wasn’t until he started texting her on her damn wedding day to get her back. Don’t do that, homie. But we bet they get back together. Sigh.
Pau Gasol – Why did he play like a straight-up hoe in the playoffs? Well, apparently it had something to do with him losing his girlfriend. We get heartbreak. But having it cost his team the damn playoffs?! That’s just horrible. Leave it at home, buddy.
Drake – Drizzy loves taking his heartache to wax. And he’s been talking about Rihanna and their one night stand for damn near two years. Buddy needs to get over it and stop singing that pansy music every time a girl doesn’t kiss him on the cheek when he catches feelings.
Tiger Woods – His wife left him and jacked up his whole damn swing. Ever since the divorce, he’s no longer in the top 50 of the golf rankings. Losing that precious Becky ruined his money and he can’t even focus. All of that on his one boo?
Tiki Barber – Tiki dumped his wife, but he’s been acting like a biggety bizzynitch ever since. He compared himself to Anne Frank, even?! Homie has been acting like a punk and he’s the one that did the dirty doggedness!