Divorces, adoption and adult videos are all covered!
Face it: celebrities can do isht that the rest of us can’t. Why? Because they’re celebrities. Fair? No. But that’s life. They get to do a million different slor-y things that, if we tried, would ruin our lives. Here are 10 examples.
Feel free to add more!
10. Hipster Glasses – Do you know how much glasses cost? They’re hundreds of dollars. When we buy pairs of glasses, we wear them every freaking day. Celebrities can spend money on stupid a$$ hipster glasses that they wear once because it’s a cool fad? Whatever dude.
9. Man Purses – You ever see guys just walking around with man purses? Nope. But celebrities get to do it all the time without anyone batting an eye. Look at Weezy rocking a mini-purse. He can’t even put anything in there! But since he’s rich, it’s cool?
8. Dress Buck Booty Naked – Lil Kim got to pull a ta-ta out on the red carpet! If you went out half-naked to a show, you’d get shown the door in no time. But these people get to dress like strippers and go out wherever they want.
7. Get A Reality Show Whenever The Eff They Feel Like It – Here’s a rhyme for you: Money’s low?/ Get a reality show! It must be nice to just call up VH1 and say, “hey, I want a reality show because I have an overdraft”. Those things are the bailout that us normal people don’t ever get.
6. Dress Like Bozo The Clown – What would you have worn on Fashion Week? Maybe a nice skirt or a suit or something? Imagine if you look like the Ghost of Jolly Rancher’s past. You would have damn near gotten laughed out of New York.
5. Go To Jail For Fun Or Never Go To Jail…Ever – Imagine going to jail. You’d lose your job. Your family. Your money. But celebrities go to jail and come out even better looking than before. Or they get away with murder *coughOJcough* and skate. But don’t YOU try that slick isht or you’ll be in the booty house in no time.
4. Make A Homemade Video – You know what kind of video we’re talking about. The one with the amateur camera work and the awkward close-ups. The ones that made Kim Kardashian famous. But if your dirty tape came out? You’d be the hoe that can’t keep her business out in the street.
3. Be Single And Get Knocked Up Just Because They Effing Feel Like It – Remember when you or a friend of yours got pregnant a little earlier than expected? Remember how that jacked up your whole life for a little bit? Well, celebrities can always afford babies so getting an unexpected treat isn’t a big deal. Hell, Halle planned to get pregnant just because she wanted to.
2. Adopt Little Black Babies Just Because – Remember when little African babies were like designer purses for these broads? Do you know how difficult it is to adopt a baby? Let alone one from another continent? But these people just do it when they want to make a splash and look like they’re so charitable. Really?
1. Get Divorced – Kimmy Cakes wanted to get a divorce and filed in the same day! You know how hard it is to get divorced? But celebrities get divorced and keep it moving like all they did was change their Facebook statuses. Not getting enough buzz? Get divorced!