So, we’ll probably not have an NBA season this year. Sigh. But all isn’t lost! Things can still look up!
While we’d love to see NBA games to give us something to do after the NFL season is over in February, the greedy owners and bratty players just don’t seem ready to get on the same page. That means we probably won’t get any basketball until next October at the earliest. While it’ll be a bummer, we have some reasons that the extended break would be beneficial for a few people. Even ourselves!
We Still Have College Ball – College basketball is incredibly awesome. It gets overshadowed by the pro game but March Madness is the best month of sports. So get your brackets ready because the NCAA will take your attention.
LeBron Won’t Choke Away The Finals This Year – Less NBA means less BronFAIL. We’re not sure LeBron will be able to recover from his horrible NBA Finals last year. So, to save him from the fail, we don’t have a season. He can count his blessings.
Kobe Won’t Win A Title – Everyone hates Kobe. Unless they’re from LA. So it’ll be good for those haters to see another year go by without Kobe winning a championship. Plus another ring would make six, and he’d equal Jordan. And we can’t take any more Jordan comparisons.
We Don’t Have To Listen To Shaq On TNT – We love Chuck, Ernie and Jet on TNT. But Shaq might just ruin it with his stupid rambling and lack of a third grade vocabulary. We’re glad we’ve been spared.
Hoes Might Get Real Jobs – Nobody loves basketball season more than hoes. But with no season, they may have to sustain themselves for a few months. This could mean more NBA hoes are headed to nine-to-fives. It’d make the world a better place.
We Get To Enjoy Delonte West – Bron Bron’s future stepdaddy has been entertaining us with his buffoonery for the last few months. If he played basketball he’d have to quit his furniture job and stop entertaining us every time he tweets. That’d be horrible!
Kris Humphries Can Focus On Throwing Shade At Kim – Kris suddenly has proof that Kimmy’s bum is totally fake. And they just got divorced! Imagine all the hate he has to share over the course of the next few months. The slander will last longer than their marriage.
Ron Artest Can Continue As Mayor Of Crazytown – Almost as entertaining is the one and only Ron Artest. He’s a freaking psycho. Plus he’s got his rap album and stand-up comedy that we can’t get enough of. Less NBA = more insane.
D Wade Can Save More Hoes – D Wade has apparently been making it a crusade of his to save as many hoes as he possibly can since he’s been in Miami. Imagine the hoes he’ll put through college with all his free time.
Chris Bosh Won’t Break Any Nails – Hey, the man has to keep his french tips looking good. No b-ball means he doesn’t scratch up his nails. Yay!
You (Yes, You) Can Get Your A$$ To The Gym – With less time spent watching basketball on weekday nights or Sunday mornings, you can get to the gym and get your workout on. We’ll have a country of fit Americans thanks to the lockout.