We know how y’all like to discuss THIS issue. Apparently some folks are done feeling bad for the poor “Single Black Female” phenomenon that the media has deluged us with in recent years. One brother in particular just decided to “enlighten us” with his thought on the topic, and to say the least, it gets pretty ugly!
A site called ThyBlackMan.com (with the tagline ‘Brotherhood at its Best’) ran this rant on the topic:
Sisters, I love you. God knows I do. But sometimes love includes criticism.
Personal pet peeve of mines: I’m tired of these extra-average, baggage-laden sisters complaining about the supposed lack of good black men. If I hear that old tired line ONE more time, I swear…
First off: sisters need to come back down to earth and lose that haughty spirit they carry. What about you is so special that good black men should even want to get at you? What things do you bring to the table that will enhance his life by him getting with you?
Sisters who are usually asked this question never can give a clear answer other than the usual: “well he’s getting a down female who’ll have his back.”
Really? You can’t even stand by black men and have our backs in the public eye. How do we know you’ll honor him if you do manage to catch one?
And stop thinking that you are above criticism. You’re not.
For many years I watched black women dog out the brothers in every possible public forum known to man. They did it in songs, on radio shows, in TV interviews on ABC, CNN and even on Russian TV, in the movies, in the streets. Hell, they even dog us out at church! So guess what? Now it’s YOUR time under the spotlight of examination. Let’s really get at the root to why so many of you supposed ‘good’ sisters are without a mate.
Most of you don’t have a good black man yet because you’re not worthy of one. There, I said it. Hate me if you want, I really don’t give a damn, because this needs to be said.
What makes you worthy of a ‘good’ man? Because you have a nice butt… a hot body…? Or is it because you were born a diva? What qualities as a woman do you possess that men should find valuable enough to entice them to marry you? I’m really curious!
Many of you are uncle Toms and sellouts, quick to go in front of white folks and throw brothers under the bus. You’ll air your dirty laundry in front of the whole world, just to gain support in your hatred and disdain for black men. Which really is just a disdain for yourselves.
You’re not even aware of how sick this makes you look in the eyes of women of other races and nationalities. For example, I talk to sisters from Africa and the Caribbean all the time. And guess what? These women think you are highly disloyal, impossible to get along with and greatly deluded. They totally don’t understand your way of thinking.
You’re quick to throw in our faces how successful you are, when most of you work average jobs just like we do. There’s nothing extra special about working an average job in an average industry. From the way many of you make it sound, one would think you worked as CEO’s of billion dollar companies or something!
Stop thinking you are above the average black man when you’re not.You work ordinary jobs, just like we do; pay taxes just like we do; pay bills just like we do. At best you’re equal. Nothing less. Nothing more.
You’re quick to mention how independent you are, as if being independent is some badge of honor to wear. Maybe for an emancipated teenager it is. But it spells nothing but trouble for a brother who’s in the know. Because relationships are a team sport. And nobody wants a ball-hogging player on their team always trying to steal the spotlight.
Ever heard this one before: I can do bad all by myself. Really? And why would you want to?! How silly is that line of reasoning? If two people were trapped in a ditch together, wouldn’t it be easier to get out if the two worked together, than if one person was trying to get out on their own?
Statements like this just helps to point out the nonsensical views many sisters have about relationships.
Maybe the reason you can’t find a good black man is because you’re so used to dating down.
Perhaps if sisters were to stop dating the lowest common denominator type of brothers, they could actually position themselves to meet the decent ones.
Now there’s a thought!
Hasn’t anyone ever told you that in relationships you attract what you are. So if you’re not attracting good brothers, what does that really say about you?
And don’t give me nothing about how educated you are. Because there’s plenty of highly educated brothers that most of y’all just ain’t checking for. In many of your eyes they’re either too soft, or too corny, or not man enough to handle you. Don’t you know that the only things in life that get ‘handled’ are usually problems?
Why is it that all these educated brothers keep slipping under your radar? Because a well put together brother who’s on his game will require you to step your game up to his level. And when it comes to relationships, many of you ladies are just plain lazy and comfortable with dealing with ratchet brothers. Real good brothers intimidate you.
Trust me when I say: if you were such a hot item, even dudes from other races would be snatching you off the market faster than you could blink. Because that’s exactly what happens to the sisters who are on top of their game in every way: body, mind, career and spirit. They get snatched and wifed up quick.
But aha! Other races of men aren’t really getting at you like that either. Why is this? After all: by your own admission you’re ‘successful’ and ‘beautiful’ and soooo independent. Either the world is blind to your value and worth or maybe, just maybe, you’re not actually the hot catch you imagine yourself to be…
Funny thing though: the ‘successful’ black men (who are successful according to your low standard of success) aren’t having this problem. When you don’t recognize them quick enough, women of other races move in swiftly to take a good brother off the market. While you’re wasting precious time and years fooling with Tyrone from the block, Marquez from IBM just got married to an Asian chick. A fine one too.
OUCH. He goes on, but we figured you get the gist of it. Do you think he makes ANY good points or was this a case of “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all?”