There was a time when Black History Month didn’t activate everyone’s inner-minstrel for 28 consecutive days. For years, we celebrated our rich culture without selling our kids for Beyonce tix, dancing while eating McRibs or throwing chairs at each other. Now, it’s basically a cultural Freaknik that we all should agree to cancel. Forever.
Here are the ten reasons why THIS Black History Month was the WORST EVER (since 2012). Take a look.
Wrath of RamBro: The Chris Dorner Saga
Where were you when the “angry Black domestic terrorist-commando-super spy” was charbroiled alive inside a cabin by authorities (with everyone watching) after scaring White America more than N.W.A. in the early 90s?
Photo credit: Twitter
Law & Order: SVU (Chris Brown & Rihanna saga TV-ized)
NBC probably thought this was a great idea—Breezy & RiRi story with Jay-Z, Beyonce, Blue Ivy, Dipset and “edgy urban dialogue” that ends with Breezy killing everyone—but it wasn’t, and served as the perfect ending to the worst Black History Month since 2012.
Photo credit: Twitter
Now infamous NC Awards Brawl of 2013
At some point during the ugly chair-throwing-melee, a 437-pound mixture of wildebeest and Rick Ross threw a whole table across the room (while holding her purse) and swatted chairs away like flies. If THIS doesn’t get Black History Month canceled, nothing will.
Gucci Mane molds young minds at Career Day
A street-beloved trap rapper with an ice cream cone tatted on his face spoke to Middle School kids on Career Day. Gucci Mane. Who has a Nutty Buddy tatted on his face. Spoke to kids. At a school. Yes, this happened. In real life.
“Because I can and you can’t stop me” rapper fashions at Grammy’s
Lupe Ling dressed like a homeless Ninja Turtle assassin. Ti*y two-maracas somehow dressed like a hood matador, Liberace and Blacula at the same time. And The-Dream looked like every Rap video cliché wrapped in a not quite fat-not quite skinny package. On music’s biggest night.
’90s Babies declare war against humanity with “New” Harlem Shake
This tragically-fatherless generation disrespected G-Dep’s legacy by re-inventing an already classic dance and we let them.
Black History Month memes
Had Rosa Parks known her people would put MLK, Jr’s head on Gucci’s filthy, swollen, pregnant body during Black History Month, she probably would’ve skipped along to the back of that bus.
Lil’ Wayne, Emmitt Till, the Karate Chop (Remix) & You
You really have to be completely-brain damaged and ignorant to put “Beat that p*$$y up” and “Emmitt Till” in the same sentence. Pray for Weezy.
Alicia “Off” Keys’ Doesn’t Care About You Tour
The vocally-worthless audio terrorist stalked and punished us all during every major event in February—NBA All-Star game, Grammy’s AND the Super Bowl. If you didn’t hate her more than anyone else (on Earth) before Feb. 1, you do now.