A$AP Bey Dead? 10 Burning Questions About Beyonce’s New Pepsi Teaser

- By Bossip Staff
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After months of media overexposure (and several different Blue Ivys), Goddess Beysus of Negronia released a new single teaser/Pepsi commercial featuring her new Timbaland-produced song “Grown Woman.” Too excited to sleep, Bey’s unwashed army of stans stayed up waiting for the 1-minute video that inspired the following questions.

Here are ten burning questions about Bey Bey’s new single teaser. Take a look.

A$AP Bey dead? “Bow Down”-era over?

According to “insiders,” “Bow Down” was supposed to be the BIGGEST record off her “edgy” new album but was a straight-to-Recycle Bin flop. So, now she’s back to top-flight feminist of the world Bey? Interesting.

We’re supposed to pretend Bey Bey didn’t just morph into a Stage 5 hoodrat for 9 days?

Bey went from “hoodrat fight in the Rainbow parking lot”-music to “Grown Woman” like no one would notice. Two weeks ago, B*TCHES HAD TO BOW DOWN now she’s uplifting these same raggedy b*tches? Hmmm…

Did Justin Timberlake inspire Bey Bey’s new music direction?

The great white wonder just walked off the street after 7 years (probably wearing mandals with golden-toe socks) and went platinum in 9 days. In 2011, Bey revealed that “4” was inspired by Adele
and now “Grown Woman” seems inspired by JT’s “grown & employed-suit & tie” movement.

Bey Bey finally reunited with Timbaland. What took so long?

Bey Bey x Timbo haven’t collabed since 1998’s “Get on the Bus” but he produces the lead single off the most important album of her career? After hearing JT’s album during hubby Hov’s “Suit & Tie” studio sessions, it makes perfect sense.

Who is watching Blue Ivy during the making of these videos/Hov’s promo tour?

Some say Memphis Bleek is their official baby sitter which makes sense because he has nothing better to do. Whoever it is, they need to keep one eye on Blue and the other on Keyshia Cole.

Does Bey Bey really believe she can get Black folks to drink Pepsi?

Martin Luther King, Jr. drank Coke. Oprah drinks Coke. Barack, Michelle, Sasha, Malia—everyone in the White House—drinks Coke. Popeye’s only serves Coke products. Nah, Black America loves Coke too much to cheat with Pepsi.

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    Will the BeyHive actually BUY this new album?

    The BeyHive are the most fake supportive fanbase in music history. They’ll hold your Twitter @mentions, FB feed and dreams hostage for criticizing their Queen but won’t buy her albums or House of Dereon apparel.

    Why doesn’t Bey want to GROW as an artist?

    10+ years in the game. No evolution as an artist. But she’s one of the greatest ever? Ehhh.

    Is Beyonce deeply-delusional?

    How can she tell other artists to bow down when she’s currently embroiled in a mid-career crisis? At this point, no one really knows who or what Bey wants to be, artistically.

    Why does Bey Bey feel she’s on Michael Jackson’s level?

    In the teaser, Bey shatters glass in slow motion a la MJ but will never be on his level, ever. Let’s be real, Bey may not even be on Britney or Janet’s level.

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