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Dear Bossip,

I was looking online about signs that can mean your spouse is gay, and I came across your article.

I’ve been with my man for over two years and he has a fascination with anal (which might just mean nothing).  Every time we have sex he runs to the bathroom the second we finish to wash his penis. I’m thinking the smell of p***y gags him! And I’m very clean.

The only arousal comes from a blowjob, never from touching. And, he has NEVER touched my vagina with his fingers, etc. He is only 29-years old and he sings along to every George Michael and Madonna song. In a falsetto voice!! (Is he just trying to be funny???)

Also, he does not like any sports, and at times has made references to men as “fine.” Am I making too much of this, or should I be concerned? – Is My Man Batting For The Other Team

Dear Ms. Is My Man Batting For The Other Team,

Well, uhm, hmmmm, LOL! I’m not going to make any assumptions because I want you to draw your own conclusions. But, if you’re online looking for signs that your man is gay, then, you already know the answer. Follow your gut instincts. Something isn’t right with your man, and if your finger is pointing toward his sexuality, and you’ve noticed some things that make your eyebrow raise, then, err, uhm, follow your instinct!

Now, you mean to tell me that in the two years you’ve been with your man he has never touched your vagina with his fingers, etc. (Does this include his mouth?) And, Ms. Thing, you mean to tell me that in those two years you don’t find it peculiar or odd that your man has never explored, played, or touched with your vagina with his fingers or mouth? Isn’t it peculiar that he hasn’t stroked, caressed, or inserted his fingers inside you? (Giving you the side eye!)

Look here, after your first sexual encounter, it may not have been odd. And, perhaps, even after the second. But, the third encounter would have raised some suspicions. You should have given him the side eye with your lips pursed. But, by the fourth encounter red flags should have been raised, and your hands should have been on your hips. You should have been asking him some questions. “Uhm, sweetie, why won’t you touch my vagina? Why won’t you taste me? I want you to stick tongue and fingers inside me. Don’t you want to touch me and feel me?”

So, the next time you’re getting ready to get busy that is exactly what you need to do. Ask him those questions while whispering in his ear. Then, take his hand and guide him toward you. If he snatches it away with his face scrunched up, and he screams “Ewww.” Then, yes, your man is definitely gay!

Let’s move on. Your man only gets aroused from a blowjob. That is not unusual. Most men are aroused by oral. However, if you’re grabbing him, touching him, and caressing him and he doesn’t get an erection, then, uhm, your man is gay! And, if he is not coming to you already aroused, or he’s not playing with you and he’s not aroused by giving you foreplay, then, yes, your man is gay!

Next, your man always runs to the bathroom after sex to wash himself. Perhaps you’re not as clean as you think you are. Maybe you should wash, or take a shower together. This can be a sexual encounter in the shower with you cleaning one another. Then, take it to the bedroom, or wherever you plan to get it on. And, if he still runs to the bathroom to wash himself, then maybe he is a clean freak and doesn’t like juices or bodily fluids on him. LMBAO! Naw, if he’s running to the bathroom after you’re done, then, yes, your man is gay!

Your man has a fascination with anal. You’re right. It doesn’t mean anything. He may just like anal. Lots of men do. That doesn’t make him gay. He may like the tightness, and sensation. It may arouse him in various ways. However, if every time you have sex, and he prefers anal over vaginal intercourse, then, err, uhm, he is gay! He’s avoiding looking you in the face during missionary intercourse, and prefers to watch you from the back while he fantasizes that he’s with a man. I’m kidding! Naw, no I’m not. He is gay!

Lastly, your man sings along to Madonna and George Michael in falsetto voice, he refers to men as “Fine,” and he is not into sports. Gay! Gay! Gay! Gay! Gay!

Quick question, though, is your man dancing in routine or choreography while singing Madonna and George Michael? Awww, hell, why am I even considering that? The fact that your man is singing with Madonna and George Michael is questionable.

How about you sit with your man and ask him if he is turned on by you. Ask him why he doesn’t touch your vagina, and why he runs to the bathroom to wash himself after sex. Then, I would suggest you ask him if he is gay, bisexual, or questioning his sexuality. And, I propose you ask him if he’s ever been with a man, had any sexual encounter with a man, or if he desires to be with a man. But, based on the circumstantial information you have thus far, I suggest you follow your gut. You know the answers to your own questions. Your instincts kicked in a long time ago. – Terrance Dean

Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below!

Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean: loveandrelationships@bossip.com

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Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
           

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