Chris Brown and Rihanna have the most unhealthy, dysfunctional, tabloid-friendly relationship in the game. One minute, they’re lovestruck soulmates romantically snorting lines together, the next they’re scorned Kindergarteners throwing playground sand at each other. At this point, anyone is better for Chris than RiRi and we’ve decided it’s handy-dandy sidepiece/model Karrueche.
Here are seven reasons why Chris Brown should stick with KrispityCrunchity. Take a look.
Rihanna is the famously-reckless Bajan hoodrat version of Amy Winehouse who will always have the “You savagely beat me” golden ticket to validate her filthy bed-hopping antics/cheating on Chris.
KrispityCrunchity doesn’t have anything else better to do than wait for Rihanna to fawk up. Without Chris, she’s completely-irrelevant.
No male celebrity wants a YOLO-minded industry trash bin who could A) give them a plethora of permanent STDs or B) die at any moment. Too stressful.
Chris needs someone who isn’t more relevant than him because of his tender light-skinned, golden-crusted ego. That’s why Karrueche is perfect. Most people still don’t know who or what a Karrueche is.
KrispityCrunchity seems like she genuinely cares for Chris (which explains her platinum celebrity sidepiece membership card) unlike Rihanna who’s too young, wild and fame-drunken to really focus on a relationship.