The Good, Bad & Raggedy: 20 Burning Questions From The 2013 BET Awards

- By Bossip Staff
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This year’s never-ending BET Awards show was enjoyably raggedy with memorable performances when Chris Tucker wasn’t killing the vibe with painfully-unfunny struggle jokes. Without true star power, the terribly-produced spectacle left us underwhelmed and confused with several unanswered questions.

Here are twenty burning questions from the 2013 BET Awards. Take a look.

When is Ciara going to retire and become the professional Zumba instructor God molded her to be?

Who will complete their transformation into a white woman first: Beyonce or Nicki Minaj?

Did Kendrick smash rapper soul-collector Erykah Badu or look into her eyes? Will he start wearing glittery blonde wigs and bedazzled capris? Is baby Jupiter-Jojoba Lamar on the way?

2 Chainz rocked his finest golden jewels to avoid looking freshly-robbed?

Why would Miguel move from his platform and risk denting another victim’s forehead? If anything, he should’ve performed in place, without movement, like Adele.

When did Chris Tucker become so comedically-struggly, unfunny and corny? Is this what fun-sized cornball Kevin Hart’s future looks like?

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    Pharrell is a centuries-old vampire, right?

    Chris Brown knows that his moonwalk and gymnastic superpowers, combined, make it impossible for us to hate him? Is this why he acts like a stone-cold dirtbag?

    Robin Thicke officially belongs to US now, right?

    2 Chainz got jacked in broad daylight then dressed like a swaggy crow with automatic car wash brushes as wings on National TV. Why?

    Why does Stevie Wonder’s stylist HATE him so much?

    Does J. Cole know that he’s pure NyQuil in rapper form?

    No Hovvie Hov, Bey Bey, Yeezy, Drake (12 nominations), Alicia (Off) Keys, Weezy, Rihanna, Frank Ocean or Ricky Rawse? They’re too good for the BET Awards now?

    Are Janelle Monae and Bruno Mars the same person?

    On a scale of 1-Rihanna on Pluto, how high was Paula Patton during the show?

    Why does it seem like Justin Timberlake’s soulful negro powers weaken around Blacker crowds?

    How much longer is BET CEO Debra Lee going to battle her public speaking demons during the Awards? And why is she always dressed like a wedding reception napkin?

    Photo credit: Instagram

    Is there anyone Bobby V is actually taller than (other than Cee-Lo)?

    Who’s cooler than Uncle Charlie?

    We know you saw Stevie reach for the mic and miss. Completely. Right? RIGHT?

    Photo credit(s): Twitter/Topsy

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