The Good, Bad & Raggedy: 20 Burning Questions From The 2013 BET Awards

- By Bossip Staff

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This year’s never-ending BET Awards show was enjoyably raggedy with memorable performances when Chris Tucker wasn’t killing the vibe with painfully-unfunny struggle jokes. Without true star power, the terribly-produced spectacle left us underwhelmed and confused with several unanswered questions.

Here are twenty burning questions from the 2013 BET Awards. Take a look.

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When is Ciara going to retire and become the professional Zumba instructor God molded her to be?

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Who will complete their transformation into a white woman first: Beyonce or Nicki Minaj?

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Did Kendrick smash rapper soul-collector Erykah Badu or look into her eyes? Will he start wearing glittery blonde wigs and bedazzled capris? Is baby Jupiter-Jojoba Lamar on the way?

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2 Chainz rocked his finest golden jewels to avoid looking freshly-robbed?

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Why would Miguel move from his platform and risk denting another victim’s forehead? If anything, he should’ve performed in place, without movement, like Adele.

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When did Chris Tucker become so comedically-struggly, unfunny and corny? Is this what fun-sized cornball Kevin Hart’s future looks like?

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    Pharrell is a centuries-old vampire, right?

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    Chris Brown knows that his moonwalk and gymnastic superpowers, combined, make it impossible for us to hate him? Is this why he acts like a stone-cold dirtbag?

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    Robin Thicke officially belongs to US now, right?

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    2 Chainz got jacked in broad daylight then dressed like a swaggy crow with automatic car wash brushes as wings on National TV. Why?

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    Why does Stevie Wonder’s stylist HATE him so much?

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    Does J. Cole know that he’s pure NyQuil in rapper form?

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    No Hovvie Hov, Bey Bey, Yeezy, Drake (12 nominations), Alicia (Off) Keys, Weezy, Rihanna, Frank Ocean or Ricky Rawse? They’re too good for the BET Awards now?

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    Are Janelle Monae and Bruno Mars the same person?

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    On a scale of 1-Rihanna on Pluto, how high was Paula Patton during the show?

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    Why does it seem like Justin Timberlake’s soulful negro powers weaken around Blacker crowds?

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    How much longer is BET CEO Debra Lee going to battle her public speaking demons during the Awards? And why is she always dressed like a wedding reception napkin?

    Photo credit: Instagram

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    Is there anyone Bobby V is actually taller than (other than Cee-Lo)?

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    Who’s cooler than Uncle Charlie?

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    We know you saw Stevie reach for the mic and miss. Completely. Right? RIGHT?

    Photo credit(s): Twitter/Topsy

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