That “shocking” moment when a Twitter famous shade queen is put on blast for (allegedly) using her company card to go on lavish Walmart shopping sprees, stay in 5-Star hotels and buy all of the delicious snacks—snacks on snacks—and sammiches.
Who knew your favorite shady tweeter was a filthy snack-bandit who risked her freedom for sweet treats, itunes downloads and $5 Footlongs? Of course she denies all wrongdoing and claims her old Gubment job was “corrupt” but the official investigation documents tell a MUCH different story. You be the judge.
Meet snack-smuggling chubby lumpkins/Twitter celeb, Crystal Townsend (aka @Crissles) suspected of federal credit card fraud
Between stuffing her face with delicious (and very stolen) snacks and judging strangers, she always found time to promote our site.
Well damn, ain’t this some isht? That Karma is a lowdown petty beyotch.
The Evidence: Government investigation report, Pt. 1
Her mind was tellin her nooooooo…but dem snacks (DEM SNACKS)….SMH. She also purchased a 100-pack of blank DVDs in 2013 (for bootleg purposes?) and $700 worth of brownies, cakes and pies from her own company? Was she using her business “CrissleCakes” as a front to embezzle money from her job? Probably.
How do you blow $200+ on itunes purchases? They don’t have Spotify in Oklahoma?
The Evidence: Government investigation report, Pt. 2
When asked about the $700 paid to her company “CrissleCakes,” the snack-hoarding oompa loompa replied: “I don’t know anything about that.” WOW.
More hilarious (Black) Twitter Reaction
The Aftermath: Crystal responds via Tumblr
Hmmmmmmmm. No formal federal charges have been filed…yet. You can see the Government investigation in full here.
Photo credits: Topsy and Twitter