This year’s very white VMAs in Brooklyn was a clean, safe, gluten-free adventure that quickly spiraled into an awkward, trashy, cringe-worthy trainwreck without the usual wow factor. In fact, this was the whitest (and worst) VMAs EVER that left everyone lost and confused with several unanswered questions.
Here are fifteen burning questions from the 2013 VMAs. Take a look.
What was this long back stick figure Miley Cyrus doing on stage? Why have we allowed this Gumby-built thirstball and her struggle twerks to flourish?
Jaden Smith saw his warm milk-blooded hero Drake and damn near fainted? Will, get your son, bruh.
Why did A$AP Rocky act so masculine next to Jason Collins like he’s not the most glittery, maxi dress-wearing rapper in the game?
White privilege mascot MACKLEMORE won an award over QUEEN BEYSUS and the BeyHive hasn’t burned down his house/kidnapped his family yet?
Kris Jenner let Kanye out of his gold-plated cage long enough to do…this? Nah, Ye.
Why didn’t Danity Kane replace D. Woods and her wet & wavy swoop-mullet with Cheri Dennis, T-error Marie or Brooke Valentine? They ain’t doing isht.