The Good, Raggedy & Terrible: 15 Burning Questions From The 2013 VMAs

- By Bossip Staff
6 of 16

This year’s very white VMAs in Brooklyn was a clean, safe, gluten-free adventure that quickly spiraled into an awkward, trashy, cringe-worthy trainwreck without the usual wow factor. In fact, this was the whitest (and worst) VMAs EVER that left everyone lost and confused with several unanswered questions.

Here are fifteen burning questions from the 2013 VMAs. Take a look.

What was this long back stick figure Miley Cyrus doing on stage? Why have we allowed this Gumby-built thirstball and her struggle twerks to flourish?

Jaden Smith saw his warm milk-blooded hero Drake and damn near fainted? Will, get your son, bruh.

Why did A$AP Rocky act so masculine next to Jason Collins like he’s not the most glittery, maxi dress-wearing rapper in the game?

White privilege mascot MACKLEMORE won an award over QUEEN BEYSUS and the BeyHive hasn’t burned down his house/kidnapped his family yet?

When will people accept that Kevin Hart is an unfunny little bozo?

NO JAY Z in BROOKLYN? Really, MTV?

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    When is Paula Patton NOT gone off ALL the Mollies?

    How many centuries has Pharrell lived among us as a vampire?

    Kris Jenner let Kanye out of his gold-plated cage long enough to do…this? Nah, Ye.

    Why didn’t Danity Kane replace D. Woods and her wet & wavy swoop-mullet with Cheri Dennis, T-error Marie or Brooke Valentine? They ain’t doing isht.

    No BLACK artists won an award (during the actual show)? NONE? Not ONE, in 2013?

    MTV doesn’t fawk with Weezy, musically, anymore?

    Rih-Rih over Drake and his light-skinned Keith Sweat antics? Obviously.

    Why was Robin Thicke dressed like a Nubian White “Beetlejuice?”

    How much longer are we going to let thirsty culture vultures like Miley Cyrus profit off OUR culture?

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