Domestic Violence: A Chapter with ATL Housewives Lisa and NeNe

- By Bossip Staff

Posted by Bossip Staff

Good ol’ NeNe and Lisa, the “stars” from ATL Housewives chat it up about domestic violence and their experiences:

America got a good look into the lives of “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” on “dramality” TV. Their gated mansions, luxury shopping sprees, exclusive parties and scandalous showdowns were laid bare for millions of viewers who tuned in to see how African-American socialites do it in the Dirty South.

But here’s what Bravo’s highest performing freshman series didn’t show. Before they were stars, and before they met and married the husbands featured on “RHA,” NeNe Leakes and Lisa Wu-Hartwell—two of the runaway hit’s divas—lived quite another reality, suffering mind-boggling abuse at the hands of men they’d once had relationships with. Now they’re taking a stand in the hope that their stories will give other Black women in unhealthy relationships the inspiration and strength to leave and start anew.

“He had a great personality; he was fun. Whenever we went out, he was a gentleman. I thought he was a great guy,” Leakes says of her ex. “I call him a Jekyll and Hyde. He’s extremely sweet and caring and all those things, but he has a flip side.”

Leakes recalls the first time she spent the night at the man’s house, just a short time into their relationship. “When we got ready to go to bed, he took out a gun and laid it on the nightstand,” she says. “I’d never been around a gun before. It really freaked me out. My thoughts were, Okay, I need to do what he says. I need to be really nice tonight. That should have been my warning.” But Leakes failed to heed her own intuition.

Ugly. Fat. Whore. Conjure up the worst words one can call a woman, and the man Lisa Wu-Hartwell used to love laid them on her. In fact, she got so used to his calling her out that she was shocked only when he came up with a new word. “He was very sweet at first, but looking back on it now, there were signs of him being controlling from the beginning—little things like taking keys from me so I couldn’t leave or standing in the doorway so I couldn’t get by,” she says. When the verbal abuse began, “I’d dismiss it by saying to myself, Oh, he’s upset-he’s calling you these things because he’s angry. You can’t see clearly when you’re in the situation—it’s almost like you don’t want to acknowledge it, especially if you’re all about that person.”

Now that Leakes and Wu-Hartwell have spoken out, they have decided to write a book that will not only chronicle their abuse, but also, they hope, help other victims rebuild their own lives. The project is still in its infancy; the two plan to pitch it to publishers sometime this year. Leakes also intends to up the ante on the Big Hat fund-raising event for Twisted Hearts, the domestic violence nonprofit she founded while taping the first season of “RHA.”

It seems as though this couldn’t come at a more appropriate time.  More of these stories need to be told and discussed so that we can learn from them and apply that knowledge moving forward.  And who knows, maybe that lesson won’t cost any money at some point as well.

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Comments

  • Just Bored...

    1st!!!!

  • JAD

    2nd

  • *Treasure*

    I am glad they are speaking out about their abusive relationships. If their story can help another woman leave an abusive relationship then it is well worth it. Sometimes when people chose to share something so personal as this they are met with heavy criticism.

  • Nique

    Good for them…something positive came out of it.

  • http://mockrockstar.ning.com MockRockStar.com

    What’s up with all these domestic violence threads!!!

  • Dannydiva

    This is an issue that needs to be taken more seriously specifically in the African American community. We tend to dismiss abusive behavior many dont even identify it as such. I had a cousin who was murdered last year in front of her three children by her childrens dad/boyfriend. They were together for over 10 years and she died tragically at age 26. Her boyfriend seemed to be normal and only did the lil wild things that most females think is normal and cute.

  • Domestic Violence

    Yes! I am everywhere! Stop hating on me Mock.

  • I Love Being Black

    Dramality?!? Should be called a ‘dramedy’! I try hard to not watch this show.

    Real talk…domestic violence is no joke. No one deserves that. Female nor male. Remember that the children are affected too.

  • iluvprada

    I agree… this couldn’t have come out at a better time!

  • Marquis de Sade

    How was this shit domestic violence? It happened in a rented lambo. It involved a 19 & 20 year old hormones with feet, suffering from an acute case of “PUPPY LUST”, not a married or shacked up couple. There’s nothing domestic about what “ALLEGEDLY” happened on that fateful night in Hancock Park.

  • Domestic Violence

    Silence de Sade!!! Do not question my wrath!!!

  • noni

    Ladies and Gents take heed to the warnings of the crazy nuts out there! They can’t hide it. If someone tries to isolate you from your friends and family that’s a sign right there! Be careful!

  • KC all day

    As far as educating women, it won’t help, we have a world of simpletons. Look at the message stupid bitches (scratch that out) are leaving on Rihanna myspace page, and they are as young as 15 yrs old.

    And secondly women just make too many damn excuses, to even see the inspiration that Nene and Lisa are trying to give out.

    So applaud Nene and Lisa on their hustle, but baby that book is bustle.

  • Fed Up

    Julius Erving III, son of the legendary Dr. Jay, to is a WOMAN BEATER….I know personally and I’m fed up with these so called celebrities especially, who get away with things because of who they think they are.

    They all need to be exposed and their careers ruined because they portray a certain image for the public.

  • http://mockrockstar.ning.com/profile/BrookeEllen Brook Lynn Choclate Gyrl (Julips I am in love with you!!)

    I agree whats up with the DV (Domestic Violence) there’s a woman gettin her ass beat every 5 seconds and no one airing that shit on the News.

  • shhwhisper

    Domestic violence is 35% higher for black females and intimate partner homicide is a leading cause of death for black women 15-45.

  • gholland

    It is unfortunate and it has been going on for years, the sad thing is that these 2 woman are trying to capitaliz off of the incident this past weekend. If you really want to do somethin , give back and speak at those facilities that help woman of domestic violence, you don’t need to write a book! There are 2 sides to every story & we have to believe half of what we read and all of what we see. The media is going to milk this for all that it is worth, let’s hope that they both get the help that they need.

  • Chicken Butt

    @blackass brooke

    HO SIT DOWN BEFORE I IKE BROWN YOUR OOGLY GOOGLY EYED BLACKASS!

  • tia

    Fed Up

    Julius Erving III, son of the legendary Dr. Jay, to is a WOMAN BEATER….I know personally and I’m fed up with these so called celebrities
    ——————————————————————————————————

    You should of called police instead of staying silent. Too many women are getting their asses beat and not saying a word becasue they are afraid of the media coverage. If a man has the audacity to beat a woman then he deserves the punishment, shame, and public scrutiny that goes along with abusing women.

  • Tybaby

    Tell it and expose these bastards! This stuff has been going on for too long in our communities. And we now think it’s normal and okay. It’s not okay! Ladies, watch out for signs of control, intimidation, name-calling, etc… And run before it’s too late!

  • WednesdayPhillyGrownYoungWoman

    shame. i feel bad 4 women who are mentally stuck on stupid with these abusive men. i had 1 incident; i ran so fast his mama’s head was spinning. i was devastated but i moved on. i did care about him so i didnt tell my brothers, but i ran away from that, after just 1 incident. that was enough.

    FAST FORWARD:

    he calls. i say no. he tracks my number down. he calls. i laugh at him. i keep it moving. and he sat and watched me get married. end of story 🙂

  • Marquis de Sade

    shhwhisper

    “Domestic violence is 35% higher for black females and intimate partner homicide is a leading cause of death for black women 15-45.”

    LOL! Like this shit will stop the garden variety nigga bitch from stop dating these niggas. Face it, most black women have to have some “MONSTER” in their men…It’s y’all nature – ACCEPT IT!

  • Tybaby

    Nene and Lisa’s stories are both true and have been talked about before. Nene even talked about it duirng the show. Fine with me if they talk about it even more. Needs to be heard. Recent reports say aggressive/abusive behavior by boys against girls is rising in middle-schoolers.

  • http://BOSSIP MEME

    I LOVE NE NE

  • Domestic Violence

    @Marquis de Sade

    shhwhisper

    “Domestic violence is 35% higher for black females and intimate partner homicide is a leading cause of death for black women 15-45.”

    LOL! Like this shit will stop the garden variety nigga bitch from stop dating these niggas. Face it, most black women have to have some “MONSTER” in their men…It’s y’all nature – ACCEPT IT!
    ________________________________________________________________________________

    To a cerain extent, especially in the South, he’s right. A lot of Southern Women love me (Domestic Violence) and think if a man isn’t beating them, that he doesn’t love them………..Idiots……..

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