Swirly Matrimony-dom: White Guy Whose Girlfriend Made Him 300 Sandwiches Ready To Put A Ring On It!

- By Bossip Staff

He’s enlisting your help with his proposal. Any ideas? A few months ago we introduced you to a black woman who had embarked on a mission to get a ring from her white boo by making him 300 sandwiches. She only has 100 sandwiches left to make now and he’s looking for the perfect way to pop the question.

He’s enlisting the public’s suggestion via his own NY Post essay which is excerpted below:

The blog, 300sandwiches, went viral when my girlfriend Stephanie, a reporter for Page Six, wrote an article about it in The Post back in September. Suddenly, everyone and their brother was weighing in, and there was fallout.

I was dubbed “the Internet’s worst boyfriend” (which is kind of growing on me) and called a “sandwich whore” (guilty as charged).

As always, there’s more to the story than meets the eye.

I tend to cook most of the meals in our household, demanding nothing of Stephanie except good conversation at the end of the day. I’ll stand at the cutting board while she sits on a bar stool in our apartment, both of us with wine glasses in hand, laughing as she talks about which socialite has gotten angry at Page Six, or which insect most accurately describes a certain PR rep.

“Baby, how about you make me a sandwich tonight?” I’d say.

She would normally roll her eyes and laugh as I went on making the meal.

One day she responded to my joke with one herself: She made me that sandwich. Thus began a chain reaction of one-upmanship to an eventual climax where I uttered those fateful words: “Baby, you’re just 300 sandwiches away from an engagement ring!”

TKO: Perfect absurdity, right in the kisser. I win. (Or did she?)

And just like that, we created a project that would offend some, inspire others and delight far more.

Now, a year and a half in, and with less than 100 sandwiches to go, not a day passes without yet another fresh reminder from friends, family, or random people in the queue at Citarella that we creep closer to the finish line, that I’d better be ready, and that now there’s a crowd watching. (“Yes, I’m aware. Thank you.”)

Few things are more nerve-rattling for a young man than preparing to propose, but having been grilled regarding when I’d pop the question by Matt Lauer on “Today” brings this fear to a whole new level.

And after 300 tasty, lovingly made and beautifully documented sandwiches — a herculean yet unnecessary gesture — how could I possibly measure up? How could my proposal be thoughtful, original, memorable and beautiful enough to equal or surpass the scale of effort she’s given me?

(Stephanie, stop reading here.)

My original ideas — sunrise over Haleakala, fireflies trained to spell out “Marry Me” like in “The Nutty Professor II,” full page ad in The Post — now seemed comparatively quaint. Oh, the pressure!

Facing such lofty expectations, The Internet’s Worst Boyfriend® is determined to succeed and impress no matter what, despite a few recent setbacks: my original plan to propose 68 miles above the Earth aboard a Virgin Galactic flight was dashed after the first flights got delayed and I ended up a few hundred grand short of the fare.

My backup plan — orchestra, ballpark, cameras rolling — was recently stolen outright by Kanye West. What’s the plan now? Specifically, how do I out-Kanye Kanye here? Someone has to one-up that guy, so let it be done by an average joe like me, who, for what it’s worth, is rather patient about his damn croissants.

A 300 dancer Bollywood proposal spectacular?

300 John Cusacks with boomboxes overhead?

A 300-member flashmob gospel choir?

A combination of the three? I’m stumped. So I hereby request the creative genius of the all-knowing and infinitely wise Internet: Tweet me your ideas at @mr300sandwiches and help contribute to the greatest proposal extravaganza ever. After 300 sandwiches, only something that even Yeezy hasn’t done will suffice.

Any ideas? Congrats to Stephanie on her ring finally coming… These two seem weird as fawk so probably perfect for each other!

Photo Credit: Rene Cervantes

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