Beyonce changed the game with her self-titled surprise album that sold 617K albums in 3 days and inspired thirsty struggle artists to “shock the world” by dropping surprise albums we’re sure to ignore.
Here are ten artists who should NEVER drop a surprise album. Take a look.
Beyonce’s second biggest fan (#1 Tamar) aka “Serge Ibaka’s girlfriend” seems to be enjoying life on the Z-list without the stress of competing with a Pop megastar who never acknowledged her existence.
Any Destiny’s Child member not named Beyonce
Kelly is more Supreme than Diana Ross. Michelle is the Black jelly bean of the group. LaTavia probably dresses mannequins at Charlotte Russe. LeToya is like Kelly. And Farrah? Who?
Her surprise album would be 77 minutes of fake deep silence that you could only download with a donation to her PayPal.
“Keyshia Cole dropped a surprise album that’s only available at Wet Seal? MUST cop ASAP” — said no one, ever.
2 years (and 9 faces) later, and fans STILL haven’t received her infamous PayPal album in the mail. Oh, Kimmy.
She was a flop single away from teaching Zumba classes at the YMCA and sold her album on Groupon. Two reasons why “surprise Ciara album” is a waste of a surprise.
“K. Michelle dropped a Citi Trends-exclusive surprise album? MUST cop ASAP” — said no one, ever.
She couldn’t even sell albums we actually knew about so…
There was a time when a Chris Brown surprise album would’ve worked. But that was hundreds of booger sugar snorts ago.
She added an extra “i” to her name, dyed her hair blonde and stayed irrelevant. Cold world.