David D.’s Thoughts Of The Week
Hi everyone. It’s me, David D. again with more thoughts on the week. Usually I give you guys a few thoughts on all the big stuff that happened in the week, but let’s be real: you guys only care about Solange and Jay Z. So I’m going to spend most of the time talking about my thoughts on that whole situation.
Go ahead and follow me on that there Twitter before reading on.
I’ve seen a million different takes on Solange and Jay from a million different perspectives and sites but there’s one I think we’ve been missing: a married person’s perspective.
The interesting thing about the video is that when it dropped, single people were all up in arms and wondering what could have possibly happened? Did Jay Z say something wrong? Was he caught cheating? Was Solange drunk and belligerent? Is she effing crazy?
Meanwhile, as a married man, the answer was simple: they fought because in-laws are cotdamn psychos. It’s a proven fact. I know this. My wife knows this. Married people know this. If you’re married, there are at least four in-laws that you wish you could drop kick in an elevator from time to time. The reason is simple. Just think about your relationship with your own family. You’ve got 20 or 30 years of history, drama, love and insanity that you’ve dealt with in terms of your family from the day you were born to your little brother calling you for light bill money 20 minutes ago.
Now think about bringing someone else into that environment whose job is to support you in that drama, take your side more times than not and even stand up to your family when they’re driving you up the wall. No matter how long you and your partner have known each other, that’s a lot of drama to deal with.
So when I saw that Solange and Jay were fighting, I just shrugged the reason off as, well, regular in-law drama.
That doesn’t make it all less funny. Sure, it WOULD have been bad if Jay had hit her back, which is why I commend him for his restraint. But the whole thing is hilarious because even at worth half a billion dollars, Jay still has a crazy a$$ in-law just like the rest of us. It’s glorious.
Except for me. My in-laws are perfect. *smiles* *draws halo on head*
Now, click through for a few more random thoughts on the whole situation.
“I Need A Solange” – I saw a lot of people saying they need someone like Solange in their lives to fight their man when he acts up. No. You don’t. Unless Jay Z is putting Beyonce in a Stone Cold Stunner, Beyonce doesn’t need anyone all in her marital business. You don’t need a Solange. You need a friend who knows to mind her damn business.
Donald Sterling Is The Gift That Keeps On Giving – You ever see a basketball player do that little jump where a last-second shot looks like it’s going in then barely misses? I was doing that when Sterling was like “too many African-Americans…nevermind.” I NEED to know what he was going to say. I mean, we already know he’s racist, just let the man say what’s on his mind because there’s nothing funnier than old racists whose lives are going to hell.
MiJack is King – Michael Jackson is dead and he’s making better albums than 99 percent of anyone alive. Honestly you could put his casket in the studio and do lunchroom rap beats with your pencil and it’d be better than any of Michael’s wannabes.
Two Guys Kissed – STOP THE PRESSES. AMERICA IS DEAD. OUR VALUES ARE OVER. Michael Sam got drafted into the NFL and kissed his boyfriend on national television. This happened on a Saturday afternoon in the draft’s 7th round. So angry people were all “what am I supposed to tell my kids?!” Well, start by telling your kids that you’re sorry for being a crappy parent and keeping them inside to watch the 7th round of the NFL draft instead of going to the park or something. If you kept your kid inside to watch the draft on Saturday, then him seeing two guys kissing is the least of his problems.