10 Ways to Get Over a Breakup

Posted on February 11th, 2010 - By Bossip Staff

Categories: News, Top Ten Lists

Good day Bossip Readers! Our topic today is something that everyone has had to cope with a time or two in life and the long and short of it is, it’s just not easy. Whether you called it quits or you got dumped, moving on is hard to do when you’re used to that certain someone laying in the bed next to you, being on the other end of the phone when you call and just being there. All too often, we make the mistake of going back only to split on harsher terms but when it’s over, accept it and move on. The best way to get over a breakup is to be prepared for the tornado of emotions that are bound to ensue and control thyself. Do your best to escape the urge to over indulge in your favorite vice, be it food, alcohol or smoking, control thyself! Again, it won’t be easy, but you have to stick to your guns and be strong through the process, you’ll come out of it a new person ready to take on the world! Take a look at these 10 tips to get over a breakup!

1.) Avoid the Friend Zone - when it’s over, it’s over! There is no such thing as being friends with your ex right away. In time, you can be friends but take the time you need to heal! No phone calls, no random late night sleepovers because “I miss you.” Stay strong and avoid contact for at least 90 days!

2.) Reject the Negative Stupor - If you’ve already done your crying or had your fit of anger, let it be done! On those nights when you’re feeling lonely or sad, don’t wallow in it, get up and go somewhere! Go to a restaurant and have a drink, go rent a movie, hit the gym, hook up with some friends. Whatever it is, catch yourself before falling into the abyss of sadness.

3.) Do Not Get Drunk and Dial - alcohol and a cell phone are the perfect elixir for a disaster! Getting drunk and calling your ex to ask all the questions you think you want to know the answers to “do you miss me?” or “have you been seeing anybody else?” You might not be prepared for the answer or the attitude on the other end of the phone saying, “take your drunk a*s to bed.” This is never good. Remove the numbers from your phone to avoid these kind of nights.

4.) Refrain from Random Sex - finding a “jump-off” or a void filler is nothing more than quick fix that doesn’t help you in the grand scheme of things. Furthermore, why pass the pain that you’re feeling on to someone else? Nobody wins. Take the time you need to heal, jumping into a fling immediately after a breakup is not healthy and likely ends up being a waste of time.

5.) Switch It Up - Go through your house and rearrange your furniture, especially in the bedroom. Move your bed to another corner or switch up the entire layout of your living room! You can take it a step further and paint a room or two a different color. This helps refresh your attitude and enhances the desire to turn a new leaf!

6.) Refresh Your Bed - Burn some incense, turn the mattress over, get rid of sheets, buy a new comforter! The bed is where your mind, body and should be at rest and it’s extremely difficult to do so when you’ve shared your bed with your ex. If you rearrange your sleep space and refresh the bed, you should rest much easier.

7.) Learn the Lesson - you should always take some time and evaluate the 5 W’s: who, what, where, when, why and also how. What did you do to contribute to your relationship failing? Where was your head, in the clouds, in denial, numb? When did you finally realize it was over? Why did it end? What have you learned and how will you apply what you’ve learned to your next relationship?

8.) Do You - after a breakup it’s so easy to get lost in your sadness and let yourself go. Just because you no longer have a girlfriend don’t veg on the PS2, drink heavily and fail to get your line-up. Ladies, don’t let your nails and toes suffer and develop a habit of eating ice cream in the bed every night! Go to the barber! Go to the salon! Go get your mani/pedi! Hit the gym harder! Be better, not bitter!

9.) Get Over It - rid your place of all things ex! Don’t hoard personal items like his basketball shorts you like to wear or her sweater she used to wear around the house that you occasionally sniff. Let it all go! If weeks have passed and he/she has yet to retrieve their items, toss them! Or put them in a box and tuck it away in storage.

10.) Surround Yourself with Love - there are people that love you regardless of your hardships. So don’t be too proud to reach out to them and let them know you need them. If it’s your siblings, other family members or your best friend you can never have enough support through your transition.

A breakup is never a walk in the park but if you have the right attitude and the right people around you it can make your transition to the single life much smoother and less lonely!

For more Top 10 Lists click here!

Remember to email all topic suggestions, questions and feedback to loveandrelationships@bossip.com!

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  • WhatAWorld

    Hmmmmm…

  • Hannibal

    #4 IS WRONG, DO THE OPPOSITE

  • http://www.k.com noelle

    Is he African?

  • http://www.k.com noelle

    Hannibal..I JUST BECAME NUMBER 4!!!

  • http://bossip miss dior

    #2 is hard.

  • Hannibal

    @NOELLE

    NOOOOOOOO, WHY DID U BECOME NUMBER 4?!

  • Jasira

    Why is #4 wrong? You should definitely take time out for yourself…

  • Black on Top

    #4 is definitely wrong. A fling by definition is not serious it is what it is. Everybody wins.

    Other then that. Good list.

  • Sweet Pea

    blah blah blah (in my Ke$ha voice)!!!

  • Nita

    @miss dior yeah #2 is hard when your heartbroken

  • Love is for suckas

    F*&K LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • TPorter

    I have to agree, this is a pretty good list.

  • pynk♥{Gwendolyn Brooks}

    My ex needs to read this. lol

  • http://WOW Pinsongirl79

    HMMMM!

  • http://baker.edu d. knott(detroit fresh)

    WISH SOMEONE WOULD HAVE GIVEN ME THESE TIPS A FEW YEARS AGO. THEY ALL ARE SO TRUE. ONE THING THAT I THINK WAS MISSED IS THAT YOU SHOULD TAKE TIME TO GROW SPIRITUALLY AS WELL AFTER THE BREAK UP. ALOT OF THE CONTRIBUTING ISSUES THAT LEAD TO BREAKUPS OR ARE THE AFTERMATH OF BREAKUPS ARE BURIED DEEP IN OUR SPIRIT AND NEED TO BE DEALT WITH.

  • BleuSavoy

    i concur …

    surprisingly, this is actually a good list …

  • ni99as are stupid

    I don’t know about y’all, but a beautiful woman makes me forget about all my problems. Just find you a beautiful sista and you won’t even remember your ex’s name.

  • Tuesday’s Child

    AMEN! Emailing this to my BFF immediately! Everything I’ve already been telling her, but apparently I’m talking s h i t so she gets to see it in black & white.

  • Ms.EJ

    I think the list above on how to get over a breakup is very good, however I would have to add that the number one thing on my list will be to get in the word of God and to feed yourself spiritually so that the Lord can start the process of delivering and healing ones heart from: pain, anger, hurt, rage, revengefulness, spitefulness and bitterness combined with actively doing the things above. Great list.

  • The Rock (Layin The Smack Down On Your Candy @$$)

    Pretty good list!!!

  • Ms.EJ

    I know that number 5 I always in general and did in the past LOL. I’m already a clean and neat freak, but I know if something is really on my mind I will CLEAN like there is no tomorrow even when my place is already clean. I open up the windows, let in the fresh air and play some good gospel or old school music. I’ve been guilty of doing number 1 and 2 in the past.

  • Ummm, can we say HYPOCRITE???

    @ D.Knott

    SO TRUE! Actually, I believe all of our relationship problems and problems period have to do with what is within us. Oprah was just saying that this week to Pink. Relationships teach us about ourselves, they reveal to us our shortcomings and compulsions and issues but I dont think most ppl see it that way. Cuz they would rather blame the other person.

  • Joe

    I agree with ni99as are stupid. A beautiful woman really does make you forget about an ex or that you maybe really heartbroken. So I say find a beautiful person to be with that will treat you right and who you are going to enjoy spending your time with.

  • chaka1

    I like the list. Like everyone else, I disagree with #4. I need sex.

    As for number #1, it works but be careful. I dropped kicked an ex hard back in 2007. He died 90 days later. I was crushed mainly because the breakup was terrible. It took me a while to learn it wasn’t my fault and I did the right thing.

  • Ms.EJ

    @Joe & Ns’ Are Stupid- To you gentlemen does a beautiful woman make you forget about an ex let’s say you’ve known and been with for years? or even being newly divorced, but during that union produced children? Is it that simple to forget just based off of looks? I’ve always thought or it seems that men tend to get over a woman much faster than a woman getting over a man. I did have an ex where it took him years to get over the relationship, and truthfully he’s still struggling.

  • THE TRUTH (the real one_

    I AM ABOUT TO PRINT THIS OUT AND TAPE IT TO THE REFRIGERATOR!! LOL

  • 2qt4u

    You should have written this 4 me like 6 months ago !!! Thanx it came in handy

  • 1TruDiva’s away from her desk. Leave a message.

    MY 10 ways to get over a break up—

    1. Date his best friend.

    2. Put sugar in his gas tank.

    3. Kidnap his mother. (blindfold the b*tch) Hold her ’til she gives you her SS check.

    4. Slash his tires.

    5. E-mail those pics of him trying on your thongs to his boss.

    6. Beat up his sister.

    7. Write “A gay man lives here” in black spray paint in front of his house.

    8. Steal his W2 form.

    9. Order something like 20 pizzas and have it sent to his house.

    10. Turn his waterhose on and leave it running.

  • http://www.k.com noelle

    Hannibal

    2/11/10, 14:31:pm

    @NOELLE

    NOOOOOOOO, WHY DID U BECOME NUMBER 4?!

    No I meant comment nunber 4, I wa slike..wtf are you talking about, then I saw the actualy list AHAHAHAHA

  • Love Hangover

    @1TruDiva:

    your #7 “A Gay Man Lives Here” has to be the best. struck a chord w/ me, so close to home, or should i say homo…

  • Mr. Mann

    Man, wish I had read this a week ago. All the info was right on. But you have to have a cutty buddy.

  • Love Hangover

    @dmo: your list was on point!

  • ni99as are stupid

    @Ms.EJ
    I don’t have any kids so i can’t really speak on that. however i have been divorced and I have found that a beautiful sista tend to make me forget about everything that’s bothering me.

  • NitaBonita

    3,5, and 7 are so true! @ dmo

  • ni99as are stupid

    Only someone that is better than your ex can truely help you get over your ex. for men it’s easy for women not so much. the only way most men want to be better than a woman’s ex is in bed, and fail at everything else. A woman on the other hand tend to not want to make the same mistakes your ex girlfriend made. therefore she will go the extra mile.

  • Ms.Ej

    @N’S ARE STUPID- Thanks hun for answering and your last comment is all so true, unfortunately (on it being harder for the women and easier for the men). I think women love much much harder and stronger then most men, and that causes a breakup to be harder to get over.

  • ni99as are stupid

    @Ms.Ej
    No problem sis. and your absolutely right women do love harder than men.

  • msd

    @DMO

    THANK YOU for that list! Especially #10!
    I literally just went through a break up a little over a week ago and I’m finally coming to my senses and realizing it wouldn’t have worked out in the long run any damn way.

  • http://undressingher.com The Undresser

    for the first time in my life, I’m no longer have sex, or dealing with, any of my ex’s and quite frankly, I HATE IT!!! Ah well, I wasn’t going to commit to any of them, so I can’t blame them, but reality is a b*tch when you’re somewhat cocky thinking since you d*cked down a chick 3 years ago that she’ll be yours forever….nah, not even close.

  • me

    Good list for a love tko

  • Joe

    @ Ms. EJ the statements by Ni99as are stupid are true. I would like to add that the scenario works even after you have been in a long relationship with a woman and are really heartbroken over the situation. I have been there. When it came to being around a woman who was beautiful and a woman who was just okay my approach to the situation was totally different. I never compared a beautiful woman to the ex we were in a world of our own, my ex’s memory was nowhere to be found however when it cam to a woman I was not too attracted to for some reason there were always some issues that would stand out and I would compare to the and find fault. This is just how we are created. As for getting over a relationship easier not sure about that I think both men and women go through it the same if we realize what we have lost.

  • Ms.EJ

    @JOE-Thank you and I can see how such issues can come to be. “As for getting over a relationship easier not sure about that I think both men and women go through it the same if we realize what we have lost.”-Joe, this statement right here is SO TRUE. It seems that when a person realize that he or she has lost a good thing man or woman it is very difficult to get over, but I still do think that most men in general move on faster soley on a big butt and smile lol per se, and base off your comment and N’s are Stupid. Thank you both for the insight :)

  • wendy

    Good Advice…I actually just broke up with my boyfriend…We have been going back and forth for a while but this time I am done and don’t plan to call/text him….On to the next but I will do me first and through time,I will meet that special someone….

  • mz flowers

    im going thru a breakup and its almost valentines day. so yea im sad. but what he did was wrong. and what hes doing now makes me wanna cry. he lost a good woman. but im not gonna sit around in eat all day. please i have s!@# to do. ppl to see.

  • MR. PRESIDENT

    LOVE IS AND ALWAYS WILL B OVERRATED. U THINK U LOVE THAT PERSON WIT ALL YOUR HEART AND SOUL AND THAT PERSON WILL CRUSH U IN THE END. IVE BEEN HURT AND IVR CRIED AND WUNDERED Y AND ALL THAT.THE BEST THING TO DO IS NOT EVEN GET IN A RELATIONSHIP. IVE BEEN SINGLE FOR 5 YEARS AND IM VERY HAPPY.I DONT HAVE 2 WORRY ABOUT BEING LIED TO,CHEATED ON,OR MOST IMPORTANT HEART BROKEN.

  • http://it kayla

    i think breaking up is bad really bad you think you love that person with all your heart well i don’t think so. hey do you lik candy well i got some. wait were not talking about candy

  • You Smell Me??

    #4 ALWAYS works for me.

    ALWAYS.

  • satisfiedwithbeingme

    @Daywalker(THE DAYDREAM!!!)..

    R U FOR REAL…NOT ONLY DID U REPEAT URSELF CONSTANTLY….BUT UR LIST IS A BUNCH OF CRAP….DID YOU ACTUALLY READ IT BEFORE U POST IT?

  • TD.com

    i totally agree with all steps. Its hard to get over someone that u truly love what hurt the most is that giving up on something that you love when you feel like your other half doesnt love you.

    #1 is the best step

  • Love Dont Live Here

    Good list, wish i woulda read #4 sooner than i wouldnt be feeling twice as bad for hurting someone else feelings

  • gottahaveaheart

    I’m Saying …Heck Yea It Hurts When Your Left For Some Of The Dumbest Junk…Thats Because …Most Losers Are Only Concerned With Themselves…But In The End They Get To Look Back At What They Lost… Thats The Good Part…Just Keep It Moving…@ 1TruDiva’s away from her desk. Leave a message.Love The List SMH Back In The Days!!! Ima Big Girl Now … His Lost !!!!!!!

  • Pearl Diamonds

    good ‘ol #3 gets me everytime…but deleting the number will never help most likely u know it by heart!

  • http://getexback.net Jenny

    I agree with this list. Just to share I can’t help but remember my friend who got dumped by my girl friend over a new guy. He did all the wrong things and it took him almost 4 years to finally get over my friend.

  • http://www.getexback.net Kit

    Number 1 tip is really true. If you become friends then you will definitely find it hard to get back your ex because the moment you become friends, he or she will stop thinking about the feelings they have for you. So thanks for reiterating this for people who want to know how to get your ex back.

  • TinkieWinkie

    This’s bullshit!!!
    We all knw we won’t abide by it.

  • http://sidhomgrg@aol.com hmmmm

    Ya but what bout when u broke up with each other a 100 times and constantly get back. How do u know if its really true that this break up is gonna last

  • Jessika b

    This weeking me n my bestie n couple Otha are going tu burn every pic , clothing . Letter an say the mst rawest syt about him . The laught n celebrate .I’m flying solo for a while

  • http://healthomg.com/2011/04/20/tips-on-how-to-survive-a-breakup/ Tips On How To Survive A Breakup – Health OMG!

    [...] constantly stalking his wall and every broad that is writing on his wall.Hang in there!Read More Here  Follow Health OMG! on Twitter, become a fan on Facebook Share var addthis_config = [...]

  • Sonny B.

    But what if yur Ex wants to be friends with benefits and yu still love him and miss him and we say I love yu back nd forth at least 5 times a day?

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