Man Charged With Masturbating At The Meat Counter

This guy took his job beating the meat at the supermarket way too literally:

A 25-year-old Safeway employee allegedly offered a customer more than she was looking for – the woman says she caught him masturbating behind the meat counter of the Louisville, Colo. store, according to reports.

The woman says that on Jan. 31 she was grocery shopping with her child when meat counter worker Nicholas Lorenzo reportedly asked if she was finding everything she was looking for, according to local station KMGH.

The station reports that according to the arrest affidavit, the woman said she noticed movement behind the glass of the neatly displayed meat and saw Lorenzo “holding his penis.” He allegedly put his penis back in his pants when he realized the woman wasn’t interested in his daily special.

The woman began to walk away from the display, but when she looked back, she allegedly saw him going at it again. The store’s manager reported the incident to police and Lorenzo was arrested, reports KMGH.

Lorenzo admitted to “having his penis out of his pants” according to the affidavit.

He was charged with one count of indecent exposure and previously entered a not guilty plea after opting out of a plea bargain that would have given him five years probation and required him to register as a sex offender, reported KMGH.

Nicholas even admitted to having his lil ding-a-ling out of his pants too. Why is it that crazy masturbating low-lives like this guy are employed?? SMH.

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