Sextra: I’m Not Into Booty Play . . .

This is so ironic! The article about the lady who grew up in the church and was taught to save herself for marriage is very similar to my own. I grew up in a small town in MIssissippi and the church was all I knew growing up. My parents were very poor but made sure that my siblings and myself got an education. Aside from school and field labor, church is literally all we knew. Once I completed high school, I left the simple life for college and it blew my mind. I was socially withdrawn and frightened by all the things I was exposed to but not for too long. The more I went home the more I wanted more for my life. I was so focused and undistracted, I finished my undergrad with honors in four years. I found a job and a place in Atlanta, where I went to school, and worked hard to move my way up within the company I worked for at the time. By the time I was about 24, I took my first drink and liked it. I hit my first blunt and I liked that too. I got head for the first time and I loved it. She was a girl I was seeing and I had my first sexual experience with her. Here in Atlanta, the women aren’t too conservative and I learned a lot from her about sex and how to be intimate with a woman. I’m now 29 and I’ve been dating a woman for almost a year and I care for her a lot. She’s also very sexually liberated and I’m not sure I’m willing to fulfill her freakish desires. I’m still the same small town Mississippi boy at heart and some things just don’t sit right in my spirit. My lady wants me to perform anal sex on her. To make things worse, when I refused she asked if she could use an anal plug on me! Why mine when I’ve never expressed such a desire? I’m not a prude but I feel some things are better left undone. Is this a normal thing that women want done to them and want to do to men? I think it would be relatively painful for the both of us. I’m just asking because I’ve only been with four women and I honestly don’t know much about certain things. What I do know is that I don’t like the pressure. If you can find the time to respond, I would be grateful. Thank you.

Happy Friday to you, gent! Thank you for writing in and sharing your story! So, the small town man meets the big city woman, in essence? And, like the woman from last week, abstaining from sex for the span of time that you did is also admirable . . . in Atlanta, no less. Your drive and ambition to be educated and employed is also respected!

There’s no real answer to your question though, unfortunately. Just like anything else, anal play is matter of preference and it depends on the individual woman whether she wants to be the recipient of said sex, not all women want to be anally penetrated. Anal sex is said be enjoyable for a woman if it’s done right. “Right” meaning lubrication, speed and other factors. But, for obvious reasons, both parties have to be comfortable with it. So, by all means, if you don’t want to engage in anal sex, don’t entertain such notions. Don’t do it.

In reference to the anal toys she wants to use on you, this is also a matter of preference. There are plenty of women out there who wouldn’t dare approach a man with an anal plug . . . for him! Not all woman have the desire to use plugs on their men and the whole “don’t knock it ’til you try it” cliche doesn’t apply to all things. If anal stimulation is not for you, it’s not for you! Has she ever shared with you why she’s adamant about doing these things? If she’s pressuring you to explore sexual ventures that you’re uncomfortable with, then you have to be firm in your objections. If you’ve already expressed to her that you’re not willing and she’s still pressuring you, then you may have to evaluate whether the two of you make a good match because she should respect your boundaries as, surely, you do hers. Good luck to you, sir! Good luck!

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