Hello Bossip Staff I read your love and sex articles all the time and I thought I’d reach out to you guys because nothing seems off limits. Let me start off with a little bit of history. I am 27 years old and my husband will be 30 in May. We got married 3 years ago and we have a healthy marriage. Here is where things get a little complicated. We grew up in strict religious households and we were both virgins when we got married. I was lucky because he’s my high school sweetheart and we dated all through college but we never made love until our wedding night. I was very proud of us as a couple because we held out until marriage(as hard as it was) we built a strong foundation as a result of our commitment to God and our beliefs. Mind you when I was in high school and college all my friends were sexually active and many were promiscuous. I never judged them but I did ask questions and I did a lot of research before the wedding just to prepared for what I thought sex was about at the time. I love my husband and I know he loves me too but I think I intimidate him in the bedroom because I want to try new positions or something like that. He was shy in the beginning and eventually he opened up and surprised me! He can be freaky and I like that! We have great sex but I want to “toss his salad.” I know it sounds gross but I read that oral and digital stimulation around the anus and perineum are highly orgasmic for man and he won’t let me do it to him! How can I convince him to try it with me just one time?
Good day to you, sis! Thank you for writing in and sharing your story! Uh-oh! You want to “toss” your man’s “salad” and he won’t hear it, huh? Well, sis, this shouldn’t surprise you. Most men don’t like their areas tampered with! Exit only. No questions asked. So the reaction you got is a sentiment shared by many men.
When you really think about it though, sis, men aren’t built to be penetrated so you could understand why natural instincts keep a lot of them from even entertaining such a thought, right? It feels wrong because it goes against the natural order of things! He might not be able to wrap his brain around your face being in between his buns, he may not be able to look at you the same after that! And the digital part …forget it! This doesn’t go for all men, of course, there are always exceptions but, for the most part, men don’t want anything to do with salad tossing!
Here’s the deal, Ma. Kudos to you and your husband for abstaining until marriage, that’s highly admirable! However, you don’t have to do it all! Even though he is your husband and the only sexual partner you’ll ever have, he still has boundaries. Everyone has boundaries in the bedroom that should be respected regardless of marital status. So, stop with trying to convince him to be your experimental test dummy! If he’s open to it, let him come around on his own time but until then, no pressure, sis! No pressure.
We asked a few of our readers how they felt, so hit the second page to see what they had to say!