My Fiance and I have been together for 2 ½ years and engaged for about 2 months.
I am 25 and he is 26-years old. He is so amazing! Since the day I met him I still wonder what planet he came from because I have never had a man love and care for me the way he does. We both have good paying jobs and I can really see our future going according to plan. He makes me picture the big house, the white picket fence, the two kids, and the dog. Lol!
I waited to have sex with him due to sex always being the reason I’ve gotten my heartbroken in the past. And, our first time together was about 2 or 3 months ago. The first time was short and lasted about 2 minutes. Then, I was completely in shock when the 2 minutes turned into 2 hours.
The first hour I am thinking, “I love this.” The 2nd hour I’m thinking, “This feels good.” But, when we get to the 3rd hour, I’m tired!
And, ever since our first time, every time we are together he wants sex and it’s hard for me to say no because he is really good at getting me in the mood, but it lasts so long to where I’m tired and he’s still going. How do I tell him how I feel without seeming crazy? Or do I try to talk him into meeting half-way sexually? – Crazy In Love
Dear Ms. Crazy In Love,
LMBAO! Girl, you made this up! LOL!
Your man lasted 2 minutes the first time you had sex, and then all of a sudden he becomes Mr. Long-Stroke-Me-Love-You-Long-Time, and I’m going to last 3 hours!!! Really? Really! I’m giving you the side eye. And, I need for him to take those little blue pills he’s taking and have several seats next to Mr. Marcus!
Chile, tell your man you’re not in a pRon movie and he needs to stop acting like he’s in one!
Brian Pumper he is not!!
The real tea is that after you made him wait for sex in the beginning, and then finally did the do, he was so excited that he lasted 2 minutes. Which is probably more realistic than those damn 3 hours! He was probably embarrassed that he lasted only 2 minutes, and felt slighted for his shortcomings. His ego was bruised, and he felt less than, and inadequate. Because I know you were laying there like, “I know this fool ain’t done! I just know he did not climb on top of me and do his business in 2 minutes. Chile, ain’t nobody got time for that!” So, the next time he felt he had something to prove. He was not going to let you think he was a 2 minute brother. He was going to come back stronger, longer, and harder. LOL!
Thus, he got him some little blue pills, i.e. the pill that endures a man’s erection, and he is all-of-a-sudden going 2, 3, and 4 hours long. Honey, don’t be fooled by this tactic. When he knows you’re about to get it in, he pops the blue pill and BAM! He’s ready to go! It takes about 30 minutes for the pill to kick in. So, while you’re getting hot and bothered, he’s already taken the pill. And, when his erection is in full extension, he can go, and go, and go, and go. He feels like a big man and that he is really doing something.
Here’s the thing, most men don’t take the blue pill because they have erectile dysfunction. They simply take it because they want to last longer. They want to extend their love making capabilities. And, women love this because instead of him getting off in 2 minutes and being done. You’re not laying there waiting on him to get aroused again. Instead, he can please you, satisfy you, and provide you with all the pleasure you desire. Unfortunately, his erection won’t cease until the blue pill wears off. So, he’s going to keep going.
So, be honest with him and tell him the truth. Let him know that you enjoy the long love-making sessions, however, you’re not built to last 3 hours and longer. Let him know the pleasure and intensity is amazing, and you’ll like to come to a meeting of the sexual minds and provide ways to endure your love making sessions without the blue pill. Yes, this is when you ask him if he is taking the blue pill. He may deny it. But, if he’s honest and tells you he does, then let him know that it’s not necessary. There are so many ways you can work with your man in enduring his erections and love making. You can even take breaks in between when he feels himself on the edge. He has to learn how to master his body and not be so anxious to blow so quickly. Again, it takes practice, working with each other, and adapting to one another.
Communicating your sexual needs is a must in any relationship. Your mate needs to know how to please you. What to do to make you happy and how you work together in tandem. It’s about learning one another’s bodies, and talking about what you like and don’t like. You have to teach someone how to make love to you. Otherwise, you’ll be an unhappy lay waiting on them to get done, and eventually ending the relationship because they won’t do what you want them to do to you. Everyone you meet doesn’t automatically know your body, and how to satisfy you. Therefore you have to be honest and open about your sexual hot spots, desires, and expectations. Talk! Talk! Talk! And, show! Show! Show! As well as, teach! Teach! Teach! A happy and healthy sexual relationship makes for a happy and healthy relationship, and marriage. – Terrance Dean
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Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!