In White Folks News: 10 Reasons Why White People Love Aloe Blacc

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He calls his music “Folk Soul”

We don’t know what “Folk Soul” is exactly either but it sounds like something white people play when they are gentrifying a neighborhood.

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He sounds like Tracy Chapman.

If there’s one thing we learned in the 90s, it’s that white folks loved Tracy Chapman. Aloe Blacc sounds like her long lost brother so white folks are playing his music in their fast cars.

He’s from Laguna Beach.

You know how much white people love Laguna Beach.

MTV 

He’s fancy.  

Aloe went to USC and graduated with a degree in psycholinguistics. So you know he speaks so well.

He dresses like this.

White people love a quirky guy. Aloe’s hipster threads keep them thinking about Whole Foods and Starbucks.

His song “I Need A Dollar” was the theme  for HBO’s How To Make It In America.

White people love cancelled HBO shows that “should have had one just more season”. Plus this show had Kid Cudi in it. And white people love Kid Cudi.

HBO

He kind of looks like Lamar Odom.

And before the crack white people loved Lamar Odom too. Just ask Khloe Kardashian.

He had a corporate job before all this music stuff.

White people can dance offbeat to Aloe’s smooth tunes comfortably knowing that at one point he was suited and booted in a square cubicle just like them.

His song “Wake Me Up” has all kinds of white in it.

“Wake Me Up” sounds like some real knee-slapping corn-husking white country music. Except it’s Electronic Dance Music,  With white-boy Swedish DJ Avicii

The “Wake Me Up” video is pretty white too.

His biggest hit is called “The Man”.

White people know a thing or two about being “the man”. And this song samples Elton John. And Russian folk music. Can’t get much whiter than that.

It was also used over 100 times during the 2014 NFL draft and we’re not mad at that!

We got love for Aloe Blacc too. At the rate he’s going, those checks will never stop coming in.